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Post by Ali Blue on Jul 24, 2005 18:41:07 GMT -5
*hands Tiana a tissue box and a can of chicken noodle soup*
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Jul 28, 2005 22:16:15 GMT -5
Snrk. Thanks. Entry 12 or whatever: Still sickish, Jandalf's left, we had fun and stuff. She's tall. *grins* Seen SW for the third time in theatres, seen Fantastic Four today for the heck of it... t'was pretty good. Brain on low. And junk. I was going to say something else but I can't think... Oh yeah. Drove at highway speed for the first time today. Made 100 kms! Can't really think in full sentenses at the moment. (sniffles) Sooo behind on sigs and junk and stuff... need to write badly... sooooo badly... I think I'm going to miss Jandalf. *grins randomly* Been writting random junk lately. Evil plot devices, yes. I'm going to get published someday... YES! WILL DO!!! (plots and rubs hands together) And the world shall ph34r me. And stuff. Jandalf's influnced me. Gah! Now I have a binder for my looseleaf junk too... only thing is hers is smaller and cheaperish. I went all high tech. I now have a green zip up binder with a billion different places for junk, and a little file folder thingy inside. Heh heh heh. Now I can write everywhere, anytime. I need to get something better than my Bible case to use to carry my stuff in. I need to stop coughing. I need to rule the universe. Or something. Oh, and I love Jether. Need to draw too... stupid mental image... (no lyrics, is lazy, search for Trees and Rocks by Arrogant Worm if you must know what's in my head) Trees and rocks and rocks and trees and trees and rocks and rocks and trees and... water. Don't ask. Go listen to the stupid song, and remember I'm Canadian and allowed to make fun of my own country. TREES!
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Oct 3, 2005 13:56:06 GMT -5
Wow, I haven't posted since Jandalf left.
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS...
Don't. Just don't. Because I don't know either. I just suddenly was smacked, and into brains. Ergh. I don't know. Vampires and brains and... it has to be the Terry Pratchett.
I have no life.
At all.
Oh, yeah, this was entry 13, I think.
I'm nearly 16! Whee! And stuff! I can drive on the highway comfortably, but I can't drive in town yet without panicking, because someone cut me off. A bus, of all things! Grr. What else? Oh, yeah, I'm taking piano lessons again, and I get to learn little kid songs! Like, Mary all over again. But the thing is, it's to teach technique. I think my spelling's improving, because I think I spelt that closer to right than normal.
Whee. I'm tired. Must someday get myself a randomized signature. Made a new skin on MEI. Lightning. HEH HEH. I plan to make another couple when I get back from art lessons, after I memorize the left hand to Long Long Ago. And eat. And stuff. My finger hurts.
Remind me to later post the lyrics for Rewind, by Pillar.
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Oct 19, 2005 2:03:11 GMT -5
I owe Joan a piece of lasana. So I suppose I have to get the picture of it uploaded. Snrk. Mmm... what to say... [WARNING! FEMALE (EI: Boys) RANT AHEAD!] There's a guy at Extra Foods who likes and remembered my boots. Which was odd. I'm trying to figure out if he likes me (he remembered me), or just my boots. I don't mind him liking my boots, actually. It means he's not staring at my chest. I'm confusticated. I'm suddenly actually thinking about boys, and it BOTHERS me. It's ABNORMAL!! At least, for me, if you knew me RL. I joke about loving people... but I mean, not REALLY. I like them all as friends... but... just... yeah. It's bothersome. I hope I come out of this stage soon/it's all my characters faults. I have a phobia of falling in love. It would make me even more stupid looking than I already am. (bashes head on computer desk) Not fun, precious, no... why won't my characters work anymore?! BLAH. I need to write drivel, or something, in extensive quantities, and get this out of my system before I go insane. (translation: T is getting crushes randomly on people/noticing that some guys actually look cute. She doesn't like it. She'd rather think about driving. Unfortunately, she's very suspectable to hormones. Particularly when she has PMS. Which she doesn't think she has now, but yes. Mmm... chocolate...) [/warning] I did piano. And my piano teacher's shoving me through the first book really fast. I think it's because I'm being cooperative. I found this site with this awesome singer who sang Elbereth Gilthoniel. Mmm... so pretty... she did Namarie too. Should link it sometime. (wrinkles nose) Oh, yeah. I have a blog and an icon journal now. mentalpencil.blogspot.com - used for posting various writing junk. www.livejournal.com/~child_of_icons - used to post a bunch of icons/avatars. I'm insane. I'm in the NaNoWriMo thing. I get to write an entire 50,000 word novel in November from scratch... wow, I'm crazy... (falls over) Lyrics... ah... yes... ~ That's by the same artist who did the elvish songs. Wow, she's good...
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Post by Joan Omnipresent on Oct 20, 2005 22:20:30 GMT -5
Indeed. Lasagna. *taps foot impatiently*
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Oct 24, 2005 15:19:33 GMT -5
I have a picture, I'll get it to you once I upload it... I promise. (looks promising)
(sighs)
Jandalf... is... insane. That's all there is to it. I think she was very, very bored when she sent me my birthday gift. (wondering about the evil box which she's not allowed to look at) Needless to say, the box, which WAS an Amway box, got warped a bit. Including 1138, 152763... but no 42 that I noticed... and then brains. But she forgot to add on the exess a's. Heh.
I had to laugh aloud at the disclaimer sticker from the post office that said the box contained nothing harmful, though. Heh.
Needless to say, I now own a hoody with my "If I look tired, it's because I'm still running on Coruscant Local Time" statement on it. -_- Must find out how she did that, and get her back... (cackle) Yeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssss... braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains... well, at least the hoody matches my typical Jedi garb. ^_^ Well, it's becoming typical, anyway.
Anything else to remark on?
Hmm. I have a feeling Jether's pretty much become my boyfriend, even if he isn't real. Too bad, really. He's nice, for an imaginary character. (sigh) My imaginary boyfriend. Even though he's technically Tiana's boyfriend, not mine, because I'm not Tiana... (wants to make a signature for the heck of it concerning that) Snrk.
Uh... okay... do I have anything else of merit to post?
Hmmm.
No, not really, no. I don't even have lyrics. I suppose I need to find some nice drivel to match my mood.
Bah. No drivel today. (Doesn't feel like posting drivel lyrics)
(dramatic sigh) It's a pretty song. The lyrics were copied out with some nasty grammar though...
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Oct 27, 2005 1:10:29 GMT -5
I was so mad. The lady at the post office just slapped the sticker down over the bit that I had vandalised. It had said "Ranger Dan...something something" in French, so I scribbled out everything except "Ranger Dan" and added "saves the day". I also wrote 42 somewhere under that sticker, I think... All that effort and insanity for nothing! Yeesh. Those civil servants at Canada Post, I tell you.
(cackles) But I hope you like your new BMW.
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Oct 27, 2005 21:02:13 GMT -5
(rolls eyes) It's a good quality car, even if it's a little small...
It was amusing, trying to peel the stickers off to save your vandilizm, though, because it did end up a bit covered. I may have to take pictures of what survived... oh well. (grins) And a picture of my hoody. And a picture of my car. Heh heh. And EDIT the picture of the car...
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 2, 2005 4:12:12 GMT -5
Entry let'sjustsay 17. Yay for Nanowrimo! My brain is dead, I just did 4390 words today! mentalpencil.blogspot.com. There's my blog. It has my links, and junk. I'd give you lyrics, but I'm dead. I'll post piece of my novel to be on there. I'm insane. Yes. (falls over) And I'll still be active on MEI too on top of this... ergh...
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 4, 2005 13:21:06 GMT -5
Entry 18 ish
Am on low stress level beyond belief. Has to do with pulling off a forth of my nano novel in 3 days. Well, not just that. Let's see.
1) Jandalf is very likely PURPOSEFULLY avoiding me.
2) I've managed to pull off 34 pages without any plot. My novel is crap. And of COURSE Jandalf can write a good novel with less time than I have. I lack motive for my villians, my characters are very unbelievable. Basically, I'm writting pages of crap. Not smut, at least, but still crap.
3) Though this will be easy for me to pull off all 50 000 words, plus more, it's still going against my standards, and it'll bug me forever that I wrote a bad novel that lacks plot, purpose, and feasable characters when someone one of my best friends managed to pull off a novel with a decent plot, decent characters, and PURPOSE whereas I couldn't.
4) Yes, I am in a horrible mood from completely lacking anyone to talk to last night. Not even Karmy was around, and he's ALWAYS ON! I needed someone to talk to, and EVERYONE was avoiding me. I couldn't even get ahold of any of my other-time zoned friends by staying up ridiculously late, EVERYONE was out to get me.
5) Couldn't sleep either. Probably because of above assumptions that everyone is out to get me and everyone hates me.
6) Very likely that they do.
7) Because, after all, I'm just the admin.
8) Now my sister's mad at me because I'm making her and mom bring my little brother to the city because my other little brother has the flu and I can't multitask THAT well. I'd literally go insane.
9) Even if I'm not very close to it already.
10) Why is EVERYONE else so blasted perfect?! I can't help I'm like this; why do they try avoiding me? Well, probably because I'm ranting, because I think everyone hates me (which is very likely at the moment), and because I'm a stupid goody-goody with no purpose in life beyond trying to become the absolute best I can at something and then getting discouraged because of friends being so BLASTED better. Better admins, better writers, so-called better at graphics... my only purpose on MEI is to make certain it stays all nice underneath the scenes now, and CR and Jandalf together could easily overthrow me and take over that.
11) I'm writing a crappy novel, and that WAS a "novel" idea until it seemed like everyone else was doing it better than me. Sure, I can't expect an incredible novel in 3 days, but it's certainly not up to standards.
12) Or maybe it is and I'll just never be able to be better at anything than Jandalf. I know she's not perfect, it's just when one is very frustrated it's easy to see people as that way. Everyone likes Joan better than me on MEI. Everyone loves her and Jandalf. Not that they're not great people, but it's really a pain and all, seeing them continually as better.
13) This rant leads up to one thing. Honestly.
I need a boyfriend. (rolls eyes)
I know. All that ranting for a stupid statement. But I do. At the moment I blasted well literally do. I need to be loved outside of parental love for once, and it's driving me up the wall. I have no life outside of the internet half the time... more than that... and everyone's far better than me at having that no life on the internet.
Why is there NEVER anyone around when I need someone to hug?! I mean, I know God's always there for me, but he's not exactly tangible to hug... his existance for me is more of a mental comfort. And hugging parents and siblings just doesn't cut it when you get like this...
I know, I know. PMS.
I still want to hug someone who's not family for once.
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Post by Joan Omnipresent on Nov 4, 2005 14:19:13 GMT -5
*hug*
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Nov 4, 2005 15:20:54 GMT -5
Hey, guess what. You write a whole heck of a lot better than I do. When I'm bored, I write, but it's so disjointed and confusing that it usually just ends up in my 'pointless writings' pile on my bedroom floor. And sure, there might be some people out there who dislike you (I not being one of them...), but I doubt there're many people out there who want to kill you and leave your remains out to be eaten by the crows. So that was morbid, but that's basically what hate means, when it comes down to it.... And what's the point of being better than someone, anyhow? Because, honestly, there's always going to be someone out there who's better than you. I was super angry when this girl scored higher on her chemistry test than I did, because she didn't get it up until the test. But then I was thinking, you know, that person's a jerk and doesn't have a life. So why am I angry. I passed. That makes me happy. So, there's always going to be someone who writes better than you. That's how the world works, sucky though that be. But you're also always going to be better than somebody. Keep that in mind. And I'd hug you, but I don't even like to hug my family. Heh. Keep it up. Everybody has crappy days. A boyfriend probably won't fix it. It'll just give you somebody to blame everything on that goes wrong, which isn't exactly a good thing.... but yeah. Congrats on the boots...
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 4, 2005 16:14:03 GMT -5
...snrk. That's the point. No, the reason I said that was because I need someone to hug. I went and hugged my sister and that SORT OF helped... it's just way more effective on a mood to have someone around not family to hug. Ei: hugging various Middle-earthians.
...I didn't know anyone read my journal.
See, the thing with me is just I'm an emotional and an overachiever. It irritates me when someone is better than me at EVERYTHING POSSIBLE. I have yet to come up with something at the moment that I'm better than Jandalf and Joan and all those other people... it should really balance out, if they're better than me in one thing, shouldn't I be better than them in another? (mopes)
Besides, anyone who'd be my BF in town would likely as not kill me. :/ And leave my remains for the crows.
Entry 19:
*has discovered something weird* Did you know that washing pots/cleaning the kitchen is my possible best stress relief source EVER?
Huh. Weird... (dies laughing) And it's only amusing because of mood swings...
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Post by Joan Omnipresent on Nov 4, 2005 16:20:31 GMT -5
Yes! Cleaning the kitchen is very soothing...
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 4, 2005 16:26:15 GMT -5
It IS! (sighs) MUST... REMESS... UP KITCHEN... TO CLEAN...!
...wait...
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Post by Joan Omnipresent on Nov 4, 2005 16:29:37 GMT -5
Bake cookies...that's my advice. Makes everything cozy, keep your hands busy, lets you feel as if you're doing something of value... EDIT: Although, talking to me is also good... *huggle*
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Nov 4, 2005 18:39:14 GMT -5
Cleaning makes you happy? So that's possibly the .... oddest thing I've ever heard. I like living in a mess. ;D
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 4, 2005 21:47:49 GMT -5
(huggies Joan) Yes, talking to you works well... heh... that was good.
And... I like my desk messy. I can find things then. I like my room messy too... I just don't like the kitchen messy...
Okay, well, I don't like mess much. I just tend to be disorganized. But cleaning in itself calms me down. I don't enjoy it, just... it's calming. I can put my mind away and focus on fixing something... needless to say, the kitchen is clean. Heh.
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 14, 2005 12:12:26 GMT -5
Entry 19, or something like that.
I am a shoebox.
My sloganizer is declaring that every a lemur has a story. (grins) I like that...
I removed t3h "a" censor. It bothered me. I'll leave t3h t3h censor, though, for now, but I promise I'll remove them all by t3h end of t3h week due to RPG irritations with Obi-Wan t3h cabbage. Doesn't work that well, really....
And I'm at something like 28 175 words. (grins) My brain is dead. And I still need to double that...
Dad took me out for breakfast, and I got to drive his car. (snickers) It jumps more than his last one, and it's silver. And t3h seat's lower. I felt weirdly short. To those who didn't know, he was in an accident and totaled his last car, so now we have a new one...
Yup.
Uh... lyrics... look up On Solid Firm Foundation by Louis Brittz. (falls over) Or maybe I'll do it later... or I'll type them now!
EDIT:
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Post by Mekka on Nov 14, 2005 14:46:11 GMT -5
Tiana, you're probably waaay over this by now... I'm LATE, like ALWAYS... but I just wanted to let you know that I understand exactly how you feel. Well, maybe not EXACTLY, because I am inches taller and don't listen to Kutless, but I figure I get pretty close.
I knew someone... *AHEMIWON'TSAYHERNAMEAHEM*... who makes me feel like a loser a lot of t3h time. Pretty much everything in your post, minus t3h 50,000 words. Like Jandaft made you feel. Inferior. Helpless. Lost.
And t3h thing is, it's completely not that person's fault! It's no one's fault! IT'S MY FAULT! Nobody's trying to be better than me... except me. It seems like no matter what I try, no matter what I try to be good at, she surpasses me without even trying. And it's mostly stuff she doesn't even care so much about, like being popular and pretty and a good public speaker.
Some days, it's like, If I could just do one thing... ONE THING... right in my life... And of course, I never can.
Man, teens are so messed up... for t3h most part, we have no idea who we are! And why should we? We've only had a few years to figure it out. And things are changing so fast... sometimes I feel like my whole life is spinning out of control, and I haven't even gotten t3h key in t3h ignition yet!!
Days like that, you sure do need a hug! *hugs*
So now you know, you're not alone... I've felt t3h same as you.
you can be right and I'll be real honesty won't be a pain that you'll have to feel cause I don't need your approval to find my worth I'm trapped inside of my own mind afraid to open my eyes cause of what I'd find and I don't want to live like this anymore
there goes my pain there goes my chains did you see them falling because this feeling that has no meaning
there goes t3h world off of my shoulders there goes t3h world off of my back there it goes
does it scare you that I can be something different than you would it make you feel more comfortable if I wasn't you can't control me and you can't take away from me who I am
there goes my pain there goes my chains did you see them falling because this feeling that has no meaning
there goes t3h world off of my shoulders there goes t3h world off of my back you can't change me you can't break me
there goes t3h world off of my shoulders there goes t3h world off of my back
have you ever felt like your only comfort was your cage you're not alone I've felt t3h same as you have you ever felt like your secrets give you away you're not alone I've been there too cause everyone is looking and everyone is laughing but I think everyone feels t3h same everybody wants to feel ok everybody wants to everybody wants to feel
there goes my pain there goes my chains did you see them falling because this feeling that has no meaning
there goes t3h world off of my shoulders there goes t3h world off of my back cause I don't want it I don't want it you can't change me you can't break me
there goes t3h world off of my shoulders there goes t3h world off of my back there it goes
~ Quasimodo, Lifehouse
And Admin, SIR makes VERY good cookies, heh... (unlike me, heh... *rolls eyes*)
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