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Post by ¤Eternaldarkness¤ on Dec 11, 2005 21:19:07 GMT -5
Yes, well my rantings.. Here we go.. I think this is going to be long.. Well, my father is a mean father. Like I am not talking you know, he took away the computer type. My life has been ruined by him. I am glad he gave me life, but he isn't nice at all. The last few years we have grown farther apart. I really never have had my father there for me. He was always working or pushing me away from him. Then, he decides that the way he is going to get me back is by buying me things. Well, he doesn't understand that I am not that easy to win over. Our connections. I have tried and tried again. I get no where with him. I have tried speaking to him but, the conversation always turns back to me and he says that I am selfish and self-centered. When he gets home from work, if he has had a bad day, then everyone better watch out. He comes home and the slightest thing you say upsets him. He takes his anger out on us instead of leaving it on the job where it belongs. Over the summer, I was visiting my grandparents and he disowned me. He told me that I wasn't his daughter and I should go back and stay with my grandparents. I love my grandparents, and it isn't that often I spend time with them. I wasn't suprised that he said it. It hurt a little but, I know, that he will have to live with what he said. He won't admit that he disowned me. I can't do much about it. On a site that has a game I play, there are two people who are really nice. We are role playing that we are a family. A mother, father and their daughter which would be me. I wish that this role playing was real and they were my parents. I always wanted to have a Daddy that I could come home and he be there to greet me and just be kind. I always wished that I could be Daddy's little girl. Unfortunatley that will never happen.. I feel a little better now.. My rant is over for tonight.. I have to go  now.. |
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Post by Forca the returning on Dec 11, 2005 21:24:33 GMT -5
It always feels better to get your feelings out, doesn't it? I feel sorry for you, ED. I wish there was something I could do, but I think the only thing to do is to pray for you. I hope things start looking up for you soon. I will be praying. *e-hug*
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Post by ¤Eternaldarkness¤ on Dec 12, 2005 19:03:19 GMT -5
Yes, it certainly does feel better.. I am glad I am able to rant about him.. I despise him and just want people to stop asking me how mine and my fathers relationship is going.. I don't like him and therefore don't care what he does.. His feelings are mutual so, as long as we agree on that then, nothing really matters..
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Post by ¤Eternaldarkness¤ on Dec 13, 2005 21:41:32 GMT -5
Man, I ranted earlier but, I forgot to hit the post reply.. One of my many rantings of this evening hehehe.. For one good thing... In English my mid-marking period grade is a 97.. I am very happy but, it was really easy to do since, we haven't had many grades this marking period.. I am suprised since, I don't really favor English.. My favorite is actually History.. I need to think before I speak.. That is what is wrong with me.. Of course there are a lot of other things too  .. I was talking to my bus driver and I said something that was really mean to him.. I feel bad too.. I have like this pit in my stomach and it is driving me crazy.. I will apologize of course, but, I have to be careful what I say to people. I don't like hurting people's feelings. My compy hates me.. I keep restarting it because, it won't make the pop-ups go *poof*.. I am not liking this.. I had to restart my computer 10 times in less than an hour.. Ooo.. I hate it.. It is very frustrating too.. My Dad is another rant.. I didn't want to go shopping with him. Cause, everytime I go, he manages to make me upset and I cry. I hate when he does that. So, I refused to go with him and he told me that I had to. Me being stubborn didn't want to go so, he told me to get my stuff on. Well, he like ran out the door and he closed it and left before I was able to get out there.. I am done ranting for tonight .. |
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Post by Forca the returning on Dec 13, 2005 21:48:21 GMT -5
Aw, poor ED... *hugs* I hope things start looking up for you.
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Dec 24, 2005 19:07:02 GMT -5
I really hope you guys find each other someday, ED...I can't relate with you all the way, but I had something similar between me and my dad. And even if it doesn't come through him, I hope you'll find that father's heart thing.
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jezira
Ranger of the North
John 3:16
Posts: 62
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Post by jezira on Jan 14, 2006 21:31:50 GMT -5
aw. ill be prayin for you Eternal Darkness ok?
i wish i could do more though.... *hug*
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Post by Forca the returning on Jan 17, 2006 16:32:30 GMT -5
We all wish we could do more. And I know I've told you on more than one occasion. So we'll be praying, k?
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jezira
Ranger of the North
John 3:16
Posts: 62
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Post by jezira on Jan 31, 2006 16:39:54 GMT -5
yep
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Post by Eomer Kenobi- Gaara fan on Feb 2, 2006 17:42:14 GMT -5
Yes, well my rantings.. Here we go.. I think this is going to be long.. Well, my father is a mean father. Like I am not talking you know, he took away the computer type. My life has been ruined by him. I am glad he gave me life, but he isn't nice at all. The last few years we have grown farther apart. I really never have had my father there for me. He was always working or pushing me away from him. Then, he decides that the way he is going to get me back is by buying me things. Well, he doesn't understand that I am not that easy to win over. Our connections. I have tried and tried again. I get no where with him. I have tried speaking to him but, the conversation always turns back to me and he says that I am selfish and self-centered. When he gets home from work, if he has had a bad day, then everyone better watch out. He comes home and the slightest thing you say upsets him. He takes his anger out on us instead of leaving it on the job where it belongs. Over the summer, I was visiting my grandparents and he disowned me. He told me that I wasn't his daughter and I should go back and stay with my grandparents. I love my grandparents, and it isn't that often I spend time with them. I wasn't suprised that he said it. It hurt a little but, I know, that he will have to live with what he said. He won't admit that he disowned me. I can't do much about it. On a site that has a game I play, there are two people who are really nice. We are role playing that we are a family. A mother, father and their daughter which would be me. I wish that this role playing was real and they were my parents. I always wanted to have a Daddy that I could come home and he be there to greet me and just be kind. I always wished that I could be Daddy's little girl. Unfortunatley that will never happen.. I feel a little better now.. My rant is over for tonight.. I have to go now.. I feel bad for you ED and I wish I could say I know what you're going through but I can't. I have a pretty good family life and sometimes it's a suprising for me to see what others are going through but let me tell you something. you DO have a father that loves you- God. You are Daddy's little girl, if not for your Earthly father, your heavenly father. God is the REAL reason you are here, he's the one that gave you life. I know life is tough, and I know you may have it worse than me, but trust me when I say that you don't have to go through it alone! we are here and God is ALWAYS there! in the Bible (ill try and find you a reference) there are numorous passages where he talks to his "daughters" you being one of them, you are a princess in the kingdom of God! so even if your Earthly father may seem to hate you and even if you think you'll never be a daddy's little girl. you are, God loves you, he sent his son to DIE for you!!! you have a Heavenly father that would NEVER disown you now that you're saved. if you wanta talk PM or email me. ~EK |
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Post by ¤Eternaldarkness¤ on Feb 2, 2006 18:24:37 GMT -5
Ummm.. Okay.. That is freaky.. Did I forget to mention I am not really into the whole "God" business? Well, I am sorry but, I am not. I am athiest. Anyways more ranting. Well, the other day my bus driver came late to school. The reason was that his evil boss people had to talk to him about kids cursing and all that jazz. Our bus is one of the only buses that are well behaved. He parked and he was very upset. He said that he didn't need the money and that he didn't need all this stress. Needless to say, I got very worried because, I loff my bus driver and I don't know what I would do without him driving the bus. I know that if he could, he would have cried. Cause, he is a very emotional guy. Anyways, I called one of my friends and we talked and she suggested that I write a letter to him. So, I did. And basically I said that he is like a second father to me and that there aren't enough words to describe how much he means to me. All the mushy stuff basically. And, i gave it to him in the morning. So, I came on later in the afternoon and he said thanks and that I made him feel important. I told him that he is important to me and that he should never forget it. Next rant. My father.  Yes, the wonderful dude that I so much despise. Anyways, he had made "House Rules", which he should know won't work. Why? Because, we are all old enough where we don't need rules. I personally think they are the most ridiculous rules out there. The only good thing is my father didn't make me sign a contract thing stating that I would follow the rules. Cause, I certainly wasn't about to sign it. So, there is my rants for this wonderful Thursday afternoon. |
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Post by Eomer Kenobi- Gaara fan on Feb 2, 2006 18:45:36 GMT -5
oh...*feels awkward* it's still true though
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Post by ¤Eternaldarkness¤ on Feb 2, 2006 20:15:29 GMT -5
It is okay Eomber. Not having a good day as of dinner..
Guess what my father and I did at dinner?! We argued! Happy, happy joy. Okay so not so happy. I am glad cause, he knew I proved my point and he walked off really mad. So, I am a little mad that he was yelling at me for smiling. And, I said that I am allowed to smile if I want because, I am not going to be unhappy just cause, he had a bad day at work and decided to take it home with him.
End of rant for tonight. (I hope)
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Post by Morgana Le Fay on Feb 3, 2006 10:19:39 GMT -5
Hey, ED. I've had similar relationships with both my parents. My dad does that too sometimes. It never really goes away entirely, but... I don't really know what to say. Time will help. At least you're brave enough to get up and stand your ground. Knowing that, you're stronger than him and you're not going to give up. He might be afraid or scared of you, because you could be smarter than him. Maybe you're not the child he expected you to be. Maybe you remind him of himself. Maybe he doesn't know how to react to you as a father, so this is the only way he can. Maybe he really does love you, and he doesn't know how to express it. *glomp* I think you're cool and brave. Don't give up!
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Post by ¤Eternaldarkness¤ on Feb 3, 2006 23:56:26 GMT -5
Time just seems to push us farther away. But, it is fine with me because, I have other men in my life that act like fathers to me.
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jezira
Ranger of the North
John 3:16
Posts: 62
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Post by jezira on Feb 7, 2006 17:16:31 GMT -5
thats cool.
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Post by ¤Eternaldarkness¤ on Feb 11, 2006 13:38:58 GMT -5
Yes, it is very cool. I like having men that are really nice treat me as if I was their daughter. I don't know what I would do without them. I would probably go crazy. We are supposed to get a blizzard tonight, should be interesting.
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jezira
Ranger of the North
John 3:16
Posts: 62
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Post by jezira on Feb 23, 2006 15:56:29 GMT -5
blizzards rock much
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Post by ¤Eternaldarkness¤ on Feb 23, 2006 17:00:19 GMT -5
Yes, they do. I love watching them and then just going to sleep.. hehe... I more or less hibernate in the winter..
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now.. 
.. I was talking to my bus driver and I said something that was really mean to him.. I feel bad too.. I have like this pit in my stomach and it is driving me crazy.. I will apologize of course, but, I have to be careful what I say to people. I don't like hurting people's feelings.
Yes, the wonderful dude that I so much despise. Anyways, he had made "House Rules", which he should know won't work. Why? Because, we are all old enough where we don't need rules. I personally think they are the most ridiculous rules out there. The only good thing is my father didn't make me sign a contract thing stating that I would follow the rules. Cause, I certainly wasn't about to sign it. 
