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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Jan 31, 2006 13:01:27 GMT -5
((Post as Edan... finally.))
"Edan, are you even listening to me?"
In his dream-like state, Edan Mattison had more than a little trouble making a distinction between the dream voice and his mother's voice. In any case, it was having the same effect on his dream-self as his mother's always had.
"I'm listening to you now!"
He didn't have to think to know where that particular voice came from. It plagued him ceaselessly. But aren't I Edan Mattison? Was I? The flurry of confused thought faded as the higher voice continued.
"Hearing, not listening. There's a difference." A pause. "You can't lie to yourself forever, Edan."
Not his mother. No, not Edan's mother. Someone else... someone equally close to him... to Edan. A cloud of dark hair. A voice, singing. Sad...
"Sienna..."
Sienna. Pictures abruptly flooded his mind, uninvited. Past, maybe. Or fiction.
"Don't even say my name!"
Sienna. Voices in the night. Lights flashing... loud voices...
Edan's frustrated murmur, then, "If you want me to listen, then you have to talk to me!"
Her face is so pale, so pale. Eyes so dark. But the light's gone out of them.
"I've tried! Everyday. I bring it up and you get that far away look that means you've blocked me out. You've gone too far."
They pulled the blanket over her face, over her eyes, so that she wouldn't have to see any more. They covered her eyes. She'll be scared in the dark...
"Gone too far!" His voice quiets, "Too far?"
I only did it for you...
"Too far, yes! I don't know what you've been doing Edan, and I don't want to. But you're so far away from me. I don't see you in your eyes, anymore."
I didn't want it to happen. I didn't. There was so much blood, Sienna. You were so pale..
The dream faded into wisps. The dark-haired woman's echoing last words, the bits of dream-within-dream, all gone like mist. Onle a name remained. Sienna. At last, he had a starting place.
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Post by Absolon on Jan 31, 2006 13:19:18 GMT -5
Kaida suddenly stopped. Something had moved in the Force, she felt it, like before, on Kaden's ship when she was dreaming. Shettai, sensing her distress, purred and rubbed her head against her leg. Since there was nothing this time to distract her, she closed her eyes and reached out, trying to locate the source.
There...
She knew where it was. Whatever it was. So she started down a road that her senses told her to follow, getting closer and closer.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Feb 20, 2006 14:24:31 GMT -5
Darth Antaios, Sith-but-not-Sith, sat on the floor in a dark little room with a box between his knees. Several similar packages littered the floor about him, some with the contents spread out and forgotten where they had fallen. His eyes, closed a moment before, glinted as they lit on something in the depths of the banged-up recepticle. Then, rather un-dignified like, he stuck his head down into the box, and came up a moment later, covered in dust. Any observer would have thought they looked in on a fool, or madman, for that was certainly what he looked like. Appearances weren't a thing Antaios was worried about at that moment, however.
In his hands he held three old books, not on a pad, but actual books. The bindings were fading from almost constant use, though they had obviously not left the bottom of their resting place for many years. The hands that held them shook slightly as the Sith fought some sort of inner demons before unfolding himself and standing up, books in hand. He walked as one in a dream, treading on discarded articles of an old life as he left the room, clutching his trophies as a child clings to his mother after discovering that the dream was in fact just that - a dream.
In another room, this one well lit, Antaios dropped heavily into a chair, worn books held gently in his lap. He knew what he would find in their pages, but he wasn't sure he was mentally prepared to venture into their memories, just yet. The books had belonged to the woman he finally remembered as Sienna, the woman who haunted Edan's dreams so much of late. A wry smile cut across his face. He could remember her, now, or rather, Edan could. She had had a soft spot for old things, such as these books. They had been her journals, and holding them had brought back a rush of memory and feeling as had been burried so deep that he hadn't known they had even existed.
Finally, he opened the first volume, forcing himself to turn page after page, immersing himself in a life that he's left behind. By the time he was half way through, the tears were coursing down his cheeks. They weren't Antaios's tears. They belonged solely to Edan, who wept for his lost life.
Antaios skipped over the second volume entirely. After the first, he didn't want to venture any deeper into Edan's memories. He didn't want them to become his own.
Picking up the third, he flipped to the final pages, hoping for some sort of revelation as to where to look for his daughter. As he began reading again, he felt a flicker of something in the back of his mind, a sort of probing. At first he figured it was simply Edan, searching for more handholds in his mind, but it felt different, somehow. Rather more foreign. He set the book down gently with the other two and closed his eyes, reaching out with the Force for whatever was reaching out for him. Corellia was awake, it seemed, tonight. The air seethed with humanity. He couldn't quite catch whatever it was, so he stood up, threw on a jacket, and took a walk, following the prompts of the Force.
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Post by Absolon on Feb 21, 2006 23:36:36 GMT -5
Kaida could feel her heart pounding and fear gripping it. Her pace was brisk, she caught herself several times almost running. She'd never felt anything like this before, and yet it had a touch of familiarity, as if she should know it. Or maybe I knew it before. Kaida thought. Before what? Her earliest memories were of the orphanage. Sometimes she dreamed...
But those were just dreams. Anything could happen in a dream.
Before though, that would mean her parents. Maybe. Maybe they had never known her, just dumped her as soon as they could.
No! She forced that thought out. It was useless to speculate. It did make her slow down though. Kaida finally noticed Tai, stalking behind her, picking up on her apprehensiveness. She sent a wave of reassurance through their bond. Tai gave a mental nod, not understanding why Kaida was so nervous, but knowing that there was no imminent threat.
Kaida was close now, so close...
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Feb 28, 2006 14:34:21 GMT -5
((How long are we planning on them running about like psychos before finding each other? I'll give one more solitary plot-post... or whatever, before we decide.))
For the first time in ages, Antaios watched the stars. Edan used to be fascinated by them, so much that his host had simply quit looking up, afraid the other man would finally break free and take back the controls. They really were beautiful, the faraway pin-pricks of light that beckoned from the inky blackness of space.
He had stopped walking, and parked himself on a stone outcropping of some building, one leg bent up before him, the other dangling loosely over the side. As his eyes searched the heavens, his mind floated the streets of the darkened city, quiet now but for the few dangerous types that wandered under night. He still hadn't found what he was looking for, but it seemed so blasted close!
So he sat and waited, and listened, unsure of how to proceed, and not really wishing to push any farther than he already had.
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Post by Absolon on Feb 28, 2006 16:36:47 GMT -5
(( ((How long are we planning on them running about like psychos before finding each other? I'll give one more solitary plot-post... or whatever, before we decide.)) I'll find you now.)) Kaida was there at last, just before her, in the darkness, it was what she was sensing. She stopped, and started again. It was a man, sitting by a wall. She couldn't see his face, his back was to her, and he was staring at the night sky. Kaida was scared, more than she had been since Naya died and she was alone. Her eyes were as large as flying saucers. Not knowing what to say, she reached out tentitavely with the Force, brushing over his consciousness. Not hard enough to sense anything, just enough to alert.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Mar 1, 2006 20:40:27 GMT -5
Startlement as a word wouldn't completely cover the emotion that made Edan/Antaios fall off of the wall he had been sitting on that night, looking up at the stars. Astonishment, maybe. A twinge of fear.
His first reaction was to push back with the Force -- just to put a little bit of distance between him and.... whatever. It wasn't until he thought about it later that he realized that it was a childish reaction, no matter the motivation, but he did it anyway. His second was to peer up over the wall at whatever was behind him -- whoever, he ammended. This, he realized later, must also have seemed rather childish, but it had seemed a good idea at the time, as well.
Due to the darkness, unfortunately, he couldn't really see farther than a couple of yards, so he was forced to stand. Unsure of what he would find, and a little nervous, as well, he ventured out into the darkness.
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Post by Absolon on Mar 1, 2006 23:24:20 GMT -5
Kaida was completely surprised when his reaction was to fall off the wall. Her first inclination was to laugh, but it was stifled by the apprehension still sitting in her stomach. When he stood up again, his actions appeared tentative, and she realized that he might be as uneasy as she was. So she took some firm steps forward, peering through the darkness to see his face.
His hair was black, and his face was haggard, as though he wasn't sleeping well. It all seemed so familiar, though Kaida knew that she had never met this man before. Her mouth opened slightly, as if to whisper something, but closed without sound.
Then softly, "Who..."
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Mar 2, 2006 20:17:58 GMT -5
Sienna's eyes stared back at him out of the darkness. The half-Sith stumbled back a step, shock registering unchecked about his features. No, they couldn't be Sienna's eyes. They were alive.
And set in a face that was younger.
Force, his mind screamed. It's her. That revelation sent him back another step. "You... you're...." Edan screamed within him, tearing at his awareness, forcing his control to the brink. Antaios teetered for a terribly long second on the edge, then his control broke, and Edan was free. The tall, tormented man fell to his knees in the street, weeping tears that would finally come.
((I was annoyed by Antaios, this evening. I don't know how long Edan'll be free..... so, yeah. Depends on my mood... *rolls eyes*))
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Post by Absolon on Mar 3, 2006 16:02:23 GMT -5
Kaida could feel his pain so clearly. Her thoughts reeled, unable to focus, and she felt, as from a distance, tears starting to fall on her face too. She went to him, and placing her hands on his shoulders, tried to catch his eyes. "What's wrong? What's wrong?" She felt a bitter-sweet mixture of joy and sorrow, though she didn't know why. Maybe it was, maybe he was her father. It was scary to imagine. In a far corner of her mind, Tai was trying to get Kaida's attention, but it was a useless attempt.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Mar 3, 2006 19:33:09 GMT -5
"Everything... everything is wrong...."
The tears were gone, the pain, for the moment, was gone. For the first time in ages, Edan Mattison was alone in his own mind, with his own thoughts, alone to make his own decisions from his own conclusions. The Edan who hated what and who he had become was free. He reached out with shaking hands and cupped the girl's face between them, his eyes blurring as the tears returned. "No. Everything is right."
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Post by Absolon on Mar 8, 2006 19:38:47 GMT -5
Kaida knew then, it had to be him. Who else could it be? "Then you're, my Dad?" The word felt clumsy on her tounge. He was happy, happy to be here, to see her.
And she was happy. Happier than she had been in a long time. There were so many things she wanted to ask, wanted to tell him, but for now she was just content to memorize his face.
Maybe it had been an accident after all, and she had been kidnapped or something, or had gotten lost and someone took her to the orphanage. He hadn't abandoned her, and had been looking for her. Maybe. She would have to ask.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Mar 8, 2006 20:37:02 GMT -5
Like sunlight in the winter cold...
Where had that come from? He didn't know, or really care. Everything seemed bright and new, even in the inky blackness of the Corellia night. His eyes felt as if they were newly opened, like everything he saw was something that he had never seen before, though he knew he had. He didn't know where he was, or how he had gotten there. All he knew was the immense sense of freedom that he felt, like the chains had finally broken and fallen away, and he could raise his arms to the heavens, again.
He had his daughter back. His daughter, older. The last time he had seen her, he could cradle her in his arms. If only Sienna could see her now...
Memory came back in a rush, years flew by shockingly quickly. Sienna was dead. They had taken Kaida from him.... he wasn't fit to be a parent. He was insane. Where had the years gone? How much had he missed? A lot, apparently. "I'm sorry, Kaida.... they.... they wouldn't let me keep you...." His voice broke, but his heart sang. The world wasn't a horrible place, after all.
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Post by Absolon on Mar 11, 2006 22:59:31 GMT -5
Kaida smiled. "They couldn't keep me either." She laughed and wiped tears off her cheeks. They had tried, but after Naya had died, there was no reason to stay.
So he had wanted to keep her after all! They had taken her from him. Her chest felt like it was going to burst from the excitement and happiness she was feeling inside.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Mar 13, 2006 20:29:03 GMT -5
"Wait.... what?" The whole day was coming into focus, through the eyes of Antaios - the frantic searching. And it was all rather confusing. The orphanage wouldn't keep his child who they had taken from him? That seemed wrong. There was so much he didn't know.
That meant that she had been living by herself.... or someone else had taken her in. Somehow, Edan had expected that when he finally found his daughter, everything would fix itself. It seemed suddenly that there were a thousand things left for the fixing. And, to tell the truth, he had no idea what to do with a daughter. The thought crossed his mind that maybe the man he had shared most of his thoughts with would know, but he threw it out like a man who's grabbed a hot coal. He didn't ever want to take that path again.
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Post by Absolon on Mar 14, 2006 17:36:49 GMT -5
She hadn't been particularily clear with that statement. "What I mean is, I ran away, and they couldn't catch me." Kaida shrugged. "It's easy to disappear when you're small." She shuffled her feet. What to say! Maybe, 'So, what have you been doing for the past eight years?' But that seemed abrupt. So, "I didn't know you where out there."
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Mar 19, 2006 23:00:59 GMT -5
But I knew you were....
A rush of shame made Edan turn away for a moment, to hide it, or just for something to do to stall before he had to say something else. He had known she was out there, and hadn't found her. Telling himself that she had been hidden from him was no excuse at all. He had found her in one night. No. Antaios found her in one night. That was more shameful than the length of time it had taken him. But it was time for Edan to take care of things.
"I'm so happy, Kaida." On impulse, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry I took so long."
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Post by Absolon on Mar 24, 2006 21:14:59 GMT -5
"I don't," Care? Not so. "I'm just glad you're here, now." Kaida hugged him back, squeezing tight. But, where had he been? And how where they suddenly able to sense each other? He must have been off-planet or something.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Mar 25, 2006 14:39:13 GMT -5
((Heh. That last sentence amuses me to no end.... ))
What happens now? Edan hated to admit it, but he had no idea. It was like one of those dreams where something amazing happens, but it's so totally beyond anything you can imagine that you're left there standing and gaping at nothing. He didn't want to screw up, but you have to do something for even the chance to screw up. He couldn't stand there gaping forever.
Where does she live? How does she live? Where does she get the money? What kind of idiot am I? It struck him again how much he didn't know, and how much he didn't remember about everything. For a pannicky moment, he couldn't even remember where he lived. "We should probably get out of the middle of the street..." That seemed safe.
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Post by Absolon on Mar 30, 2006 14:13:58 GMT -5
"Yeah," Kaida said. People could get pretty crazy after dark. Then she was hit with a sudden idea. "Are you hungry?" They could grab a bite and talk about, everything. Food seemed to loosen people up somehow.
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