The Gray Woods

[Cenerue]

As no one else has posted in here, let me be the first! Here's an original story I wrote. It's rather long but I'll try and post it in small snatches. Hope you all enjoy:


The Gray Woods

[glow=red,2,300]Prolouge: The Heart of the Forest[/glow]

In a panic Melarussion burst into the throne room without announcing himself. "My Lady!" he cried hurriedly sinking down on one knee, "there is terrible trouble brewing in Elanasante at this very hour!"

The Queen looked up from where she sat on her throne, instantly concerned. On the arm of her chair by her elbow stood a tiny fairy man dressed in green, his sheer gossamer wings trembling nervously. "Bring my horse to me at once," the Queen instructed him and the little man flew off to do her bidding. The Queen rose from her chair, coming towards Melarussion and as always he was struck by her great beauty. She was, like himself, a sylph, a spirit being of the air and a slight breeze always seemed to blow about her, stirring her long fire colored hair about her face and making her silver robes billow about her strong, slim body. "What is the trouble dear friend?" she asked. Melarussion gazed into her mystical eyes and fought for the right words to express himself. She stopped in front of where he knelt and held out a hand to him. After a moment he took it and stumbled to his feet.

"The kobolds have discovered the Tunnel of Doors!" he said at last and then immediately wished he had not. The Queen's face turned pale and her marvelous eyes widened in alarm.

"Achedor preserve us!" she murmured anxiously. Closing her eyes tightly she began to pray. "Achedor, lead us out of this trouble!" she pleaded still holding on to Melarussion’s hand. "Save our forest from evil, for yours is the power to do so forever!"

"So be it," Melarussion said quietly. The Queen gave a great sigh and released his hand. The short prayer seemed to have strengthened her. "We must go at once," she said more calmly. "We must make sure the kobolds do not find the door that leads here. Do you still have the Heart of the Forest?" Melarussion nodded feeling under his silk blue shirt for the necklace that hung there. The Heart of the Forest, a small, smooth pond stone that could fit in the palm of one’s hand was the power that kept their woods free from evil. Around the moss green stone a garland of tiny living branches had been woven with little blooms of pink and white growing from it. This joining of stone and plant life kept the waters clean and the plant life alive and healthy. If the kobolds ever got their little paws on it, then Elanasante, their beautiful woodlands would be in very deep trouble.


At that moment a loud noise sounded from just outside the throne room and Kweena, one of the two large harpy eagles that served as palace guards crashed into the room on its back, shrieking angrily. Coming in after it ran several kobolds. They were rat like creatures about three feet tall. Although they boasted the sharp-toothed muzzles and whiskers of a rat, they were mostly gnomish in appearance, running on two legs and carrying little swords and axes in their hairy fists. Five of them piled into the throne room at once, stepping on each other’s hairless tails in their hurry to attack the Queen.

As soon as they appeared Melarussion raised his hands and sent a strong wind wafting through the room. "You must take Arussa and leave at once!" he shouted to the Queen over his shoulder. The kobolds snarled at him lifting their swords and axes menacingly. They tried to advance, but the wind became even stronger pushing them back. With a sharp cry the harpy eagle righted itself, spread great grey wings and flew out of the throne room with one of the hapless creatures in it claws.

A sharp neigh behind her caused the Queen to glance back and she saw Arussa, her silver horse floating in mid air at one of the tall glass windows. With a glad cry she ran over to the window and opened it. As she touched the stallion, both she and the horse became ethereal, almost transparent. It was only when horse and rider were together that a sylph could travel the winds. "Come Melarussion, we will take you from here!" she cried but the younger sylph was struggling to hold back the invaders. The strong wind he had created was slowly dying and the snarling kobolds were coming closer and closer. Suddenly Kweena and her mate Skreeta flew in again causing a huge ruckus among the kobolds and many died under their powerful talons and beaks.

"Go my Lady! Do not hesitate! The eagles and I will hold them off!" Melarussion called. He summoned a cloud through the open window and began to attack the kobolds with tiny bolts of lightning. Seeing that all was well, the Queen mounted Arussa and they flew down the steep hillside the palace was built upon, riding the winds into the depths of Elanasante to find help.

Melarussion was reaching the end of his strength but the Kobolds were finally starting to retreat. He was thinking of sending one of the eagles for his own horse when suddenly a huge mob of the creatures came crashing through the doorway. The largest of them jumped on Melrussion sending him sprawling to the floor. As he fell the cloud he had summoned dissipated and the lightning went out leaving him completely defenseless.

[Tiana, eh?]

Thank you for being brave, and posting this up here! Your bravery and courage is appreciated!!! I must get my stuff up, but I've been too lazy... meh.

Anyhow, I'd like to say that it's a great start for a fiction-- I was able to follow it though I know nothing about the characters, and the discriptions were quite well done.

Great tale there-- I hope to see more from you, Cenerue.

[Cenerue]

Thanks Eowyn and I'd just like to say it's so nice to see so many Christians on these boards! I'd LOVE to read some of your stuff and if you would like you can also visit this website for writers of fiction and poetry: www.eldanore.com


Here's some more of the prolouge:

The eagles continued to fight, but there were far too many kobolds for them to handle now. The creature lying on Melarussion's chest grabbed a paw full of his thick red hair, pressed his whiskered muzzle against the sylph's nose and in a gruff little voice snarled, "Where is the Heart of the Forest?" Melarussion struggled to get up but two more Kobolds came to hold down his arms. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Skreeta and Kweena, covered with bleeding scratches escaping out of the open window and in his heart he couldn't say he blamed them.

"You will answer me sylph! I am Gathisor, and my word is law!" The irate little rat man pointed to a golden device pinned to the outside of his cloak in the shape of a little crown. So this was Gathisor, Melarussion thought, king of the kobolds. The Queen had seen plenty of trouble from him before.

"The Queen took it with her," Melarussion replied, hoping the kobolds were too dim to think of searching him.

"After her!" Gathisor barked at his men. Most of them ran off to search the forest. "You two search the sylph!" Gathisor ordered and Melarussion's heart sank within his chest. He had to keep them from getting it! Their cold little paws found it almost at once under Melarussion's shirt and he struggled with all his might to throw them off. They pulled at the chain around his neck but it was well made and would not break so they tore his shirt open and tried to pull the necklace off over his head. He fought them as hard as he could, trying to conjure up strong puffs of air at the same time. He managed to send one of the creatures flying and Gathisor squealed in anger.

Taking his sword, the kobold king his rammed the hilt of it into Melarussion's stomach, making the sylph exhale sharply and lean forward in pain. With a final tug they managed to pull the Heart of the Forest off along with some of his hair but he hadn¡¦t given up yet. Summoning up all his remaining power Melarussion sent a fierce wind to lift up the necklace just before Gathisor could get his paws on it. It floated up out of the kobold's reach and if he hadn't been in so much pain, Melarussion would have laughed out loud at the sight of the little men jumping up into the air trying to grab the flying necklace.

This time the hilt of Gathisor's sword cracked against the young sylph's head and Melarussion slumped to the floor unconscious. The Heart of the Forest fell and struck the polished floor of the palace hard. So hard in fact that a piece of the precious stone cracked and broke off.

This did not concern Gathisor however. Roaring in victory he snatched up the stone, missing the broken off piece entirely and placed the chain around his own neck. Then instructed his minions to follow him and bring the unconscious sylph. "And when you find the Queen," Gathisor ordered, "kill her. I am now the rightful Lord of Elanasante!"

*********

Fifteen minutes later a band of armed satyrs, summoned by the panicky fairy servant, appeared ready for a fight. They found the throne room and the surrounding hallways in a terrible mess. There were gouges in the walls and dead kobolds littering the floor but no sign of the Queen or her chief steward. While several of them began removing the dead, young Nisse, the leader of this band of satyrs went outside to question the two harpy eagles that served as the Queen¡¦s guards. He found them being healed of their wounds by the water nymphs living in the Queen's Fountain, but when questioned, neither of them could tell him what had befallen the Queen or her servant. After further questioning, Nisse found out that the fairy, whose name was Jeth, had been ordered to bring the Queen her horse, and the news gladdened the satyr's heart. Perhaps she had escaped after all and would rejoin them soon. He sent several of his men into the forest to track the kobolds to their lair and then went back to the throne room to wait for the Queen's safe return. He waited there all that night, but he waited in vain.

***********

[Tiana, eh?]

It is nice, isn't is, to have a lot of Christians on a board-- our discussions stay clean, and we TEND to be friendly. I'm glad it's actually noticed as the site's growing-- the Christian air about us. (and in our signatures too... heh. *rolls eyes* So a few of us are quite obvious about being Christians... but we like it that way)

Well, you might not WANT to read my stuff... heh... but I do mean to post some of it. It's not all that scary.... *snicker*

I like what you have going here... you've read The Wheel of Time books, haven't you? It reflects in your writing, I think...

Very nice.

[Cenerue]

Thanks Eowyn! Yes, I have read the Wheel of Time books. I think my biggest influences are, Tolkien (of course), C.S. Lewis, Robert Jordan and Terry Brooks (Sword of Shannara)

Okay, here's some more of my story:

[glow=red,2,300]Chapter 1: Lost[/glow]

Elana sighed and stopped walking. She was lost; there was no denying it. Every tree and bush looked the same to her. She was probably walking in circles and didn't even know it. "Ahh, this is hopeless!" she hissed and sat down on a nearby rock. She could feel the cold and dampness, even through her woolen clothes. It made her shiver and she pulled her gray cloak closer about her shoulders. In frustration she ran her fingers through her curly red hair. The cold air was making it frizzy and she frowned as she played with it, trying to tug it into place. She finally gave it up and blew on her freezing hands instead while her lips and cheeks turned pink with the cold. It was indeed cold here in the Gray Woods and rumors spoke of sprites and other spirits that would prey upon those who lost their way. Elana didn't exactly believe all of the tales, but she had been "blessed" by an overactive imagination, and the stories made her nervous.

She had only wanted to explore the Gray Woods. They had seemed so lovely standing just outside them, only a few miles from where she lived. It was the height of Fall and the leaves on the oak and birch trees were brilliant with color. Here and there, amongst the red, orange and gold leaves straight, tall pines sported their green needles. The wind wafted over all, creating swaying washes of color against the brilliant blue sky. It was too tempting to resist, and Elana willingly ventured inside.

She had grown tired of listening to the teasing of her elder brothers Tristan and Adwen so, putting on her cloak and sturdiest boots, she had gone off to explore without saying another word. Watching her leave, her brothers had laughed and yelled after her to be wary of fairies. There were plenty of stories about people who had seen these so called fairies, but Elana's brothers didn't believe in them. According to them, no one in their right mind ever entered the woods if they could help it, especially after dark. People had spoken of strange lights and eerie singing emanating from them. But for Elana, finding these creatures was an endless source of fascination. It was her secret desire to meet or even befriend one of them.

Every week she would willingly ride one of her family’s two stocky mares into Claydel, the small town located five miles away to visit the Gray Gates Museum, a tiny place that boasted a fine display of “Fairy” artifacts. Among these so called "artifacts" were elaborately carved wooden combs, flutes and even an ancient fiddle. A plaque located above the artifacts stated that the Forest Spirits, or fairies were supposedly thousands of years old and spoke in the language of the wind and trees. Elana spent hours in the tiny library each week pouring over pictures and books about her favorite subject. Her father and brothers laughed at her indulgence but when her mother heard of it, she smiled a secret smile and spoke not a word. Many weeks later her mother told her that at the time of her birth, she had chosen to give her daughter a fairy name: Elana. "It means 'Music of God'," her mother had said, stroking her daughter's auburn curls, "and God will always watch over you wherever you go".

Elana believed God was watching over her now, but she was still nervous. She looked around at the silver birches and gnarled, moss laden oaks, searching for some sign that would lead her out of the forest. Every direction looked the same, and the day was heading towards dusk. In a few hours if she didn't appear, her family would start to worry. She decided to pray to God out loud: "Please let me find my way home," she begged.

As if in answer to her prayer, a strong wind suddenly blew through the trees scattering the fallen leaves, and a loud creaking, rustling noise sounded in the stillness. Elana jumped up from her rock, startling a wild rabbit that had been hiding there. It bounded off into the bushes as panic rose up in the young girl's throat. The creaking noise sounded like it was right next to her, but all she saw around her were swaying trees. It sounded almost like branches breaking, but what creature was breaking them? She sent up another desperate prayer and almost jumped out of her skin when a deep gravelly voice suddenly spoke: "Who cries out to the Father?" it asked.

[Dûncariel is Dead.]

'Tis more like Terry Brooks than Robert Jordan, methinks. What with the Kobolds, and Satyrs and Sylphs and stuff. Sounds like Magic Kingdom for Sale, Sold! to me....

Anyhow, lovely work!! Makes me blush and want to go finish mine..... *grumbles* Stupid Volleyball....

[BEHIND YOU!!!]

Ay, 'tis interesting. I'm too lazy to write... meh. Well, I RP, but I don't write fiction. I just read it-- 'tis an interesting read too.

[Cenerue]

Thanks for your comments people! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story!

Here's some more:

[glow=red,2,300]Chapter 2: Nisse [/glow]

Shaking with terror Elana looked around to find the speaker but saw only the swaying branches and heard only the loud rustling and creaking. Suddenly she realized something was coming out of one of the large, gnarled oaks. The aged bark of the tree seemed to split, like a door opening and out stepped the strangest creature Elana had ever seen. He was tall and quite old, judging from the balding pate and long white beard but there were two small horns like those of a goat growing out of his skull. He was dressed in a large cape and a silken shirt of black and silver but as he took a step twords her, Elana suddenly noticed that his large feet ended in cloven hooves! What was even more alarming was the fact that the rather shaggy white trousers she had supposed he was wearing turned out to be the hairy lower half of his body. Here was a creature who was half man and half goat! She had read stories about such beasts but now here stood the real thing! Elana struggled for a moment to remember what this sort of creature was called but fear turned her mind into a blank.

The goat man stopped right in front of her and seemed to bend a bit, looking down. Elana, paralyzed with fear, looked up at his face and saw two great liquid eyes staring back at her. They were surprisingly gentle, if a bit sad, the color of new leaves on a spring morning. Now the creature spoke again in its deep voice.

"Was it you who cried out a moment ago?" At least he didn't sound angry.

“It was,” she said hesitantly.

“Aha,” said the man nodding. He blinked his large expressive eyes and gave her a sad little smile. "You remind me of someone I knew a very long time ago. It's the hair I think."

“Do I?" Elana asked at a loss. She had certainly never met anyone like him before.

“What is your name, small one?” the creature asked.

“Elana Goldleaf,” she said and made a little bow.

“Hmmmm,” muttered the creature, “Even your name sounds familiar to me. Your first name that is," he corrected himself. "And there's something about your eyes..." Elana had her mother's eyes and they were the color of the sky just before a storm.

“My mother gave me a fairy name.” Elana was too fascinated now to be afraid any longer. Hesitantly, she reached out and touched the goat man's hand, her storm colored eyes bright with curiosity. He felt real enough. He had dark brown skin and the hair of his arm was white and slightly wooly, like a goat's. She smiled at the wonder of it. “Please tell me,” she began, “what manner of creature are you and what is your name?”

“I am called Nisse, and I am a satyr. It is my job to look after the dryads."

“A satyr!” Elana repeated in wonder. “I have heard stories about your kind but I never thought….” She trailed off and gazed up again at the legend turned real. "Did you say dryads?" she breathed but the old man acted as though he hadn't heard the last question.

“Well, Elana,” Nisse began slowly, “what are you doing in the forest so late? No one ventures here, especially at this hour. Haven’t you heard the stories?”

“I have heard that fairies and other spirits live in these woods. I came in only to explore and see if I could meet one. Do you know where they are?”

The satyr gave a great sigh and bowed his bald head. “There were fairies, sylphs and undines who lived here, long, long ago. But they have long since moved on from here.”

Elana didn't know what sylphs or undines were, but for some reason she felt a sharp pang of disappointment at his words. “But what about the singing and the lights people talk about? If they aren’t fairies, what are they?”

Nisse looked up from his memories. “Only the dryads who live in the trees” he said. “Sometimes they drink too much wine and get restless." Suddenly his expression grew more serious. "But take care young one. These woods are also home to some dark creatures. I do not tolerate their presence and they usually stay clear of my groves, but stay watchful while you are here and be weary of enchantment!”

[Tiana, eh?]

Well, of course we're going to take the time to read it... it's a good story, of course! How much do you have done?

[Eisley the Mildly Insane]

Wow ok thats it I'm going to go post my story!!! lol

[Cenerue]

Alright! Yeah! Let's have some more story tellers around here! I've got tons unfortunately Eowyn!

Here's some more:

[glow=red,2,300]Chapter 3: The Acorn[/glow]

Elana started to worry about the hour. It was dusk now and her family would soon start searching for her.

"Please sir," she began.

"You may call me Nisse, young one," the goat man said, his huge eyes brightening.

Elana smiled politely and said, "Please Nisse, can you help me find my way home? I am quite lost and I fear my family will worry about me."

"I cannot leave the dryads, they are all that is left to me now." Nisse looked up at the surrounding trees and Elana got the distinct impression they were being watched. "But I can give you something that will help you find your way." He reached into his voluminous black cape and drew forth something small and round. As he held it out to her, she saw it was an acorn. "Take it in your hand and think of where you want to go. The acorn will do the rest".

Elana took it gratefully. "Thank you Nisse. May I come back and talk with you some more?" The satyr looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Perhaps young one," he said, turning to walk back into the massive oak he had emerged from, "Perhaps." The creaking noises started up again as the bark of the oak tree closed behind him, then all was still. Even the feeling of being watched was gone. Except for a few chattering squirrels running about in the treetops, Elana was alone.

She stood with her hand out, looking down at the acorn and started to think of home. Almost immediately the acorn began to glow a deep emerald green. This startled Elana and she flinched, letting it fall. The light went out at once and it was only an everyday acorn once more. Hesitantly she picked it up again and thought of home, and the green glow was stronger this time. A ray of light suddenly speared outwards, to the forest floor. It was pointing to the right. She started to follow, and it lit her way, showing her the path home. In no time at all it seemed the green light was shining on the front gates of her home. Just as the door to the house opened to reveal her mother, Elana stopped to put the acorn in her pocket, and the light immediately went out. Her mother, a graceful young looking woman in her 40's walked up to her and opened the gate.

"Where have you been, Elana? Your father and brothers are out looking for you! Did you go into the Gray Woods?" Elana blushed in shame and bowed her head. "I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away from there forever!" Her mother murmured. Brushing long dark hair out of her eyes impatiently, Mrs. Goldleaf leaned forward to put her hands on her daughters' shoulders. "I know how much the woods mean to you, my child," she said soothingly, "but your father thinks they are dangerous and should be avoided. I think it's best to do what your father says, don't you?" Elana nodded dutifully but inside she wasn't so sure. "Come inside dear," her mother said and they went in, closing the gate behind them. Later that night, her father's response was not as calm as her mother's.

"Go easy on her, Marlin," her mother said, "she looks as though she has had a trying day."

Her father nodded and said "Yes Ada" distractedly. He then proceeded to give her a long stern lecture, admonishing her for wandering about at night. He repeated the frightening stories people had told about the Gray Woods trying to warn her about what could happen. To her credit, Elana listened dutifully when she saw the relief and love in his dark eyes. For once, her brothers did not tease her, and she sensed they were simply glad she was back safely. It gave her a warm feeling in her heart for her family, and she decided she would only go back to the woods in broadest daylight. With the acorn to guide her, she wouldn't get lost next time.

XXXXXX

Over the next few days, Elana thought about her adventure, and almost told her mother about it countless times. But each time she was on the verge of saying something, she would change her mind and decide to wait. It was all so strange and she wasn't sure if her mother would believe her or not. She knew her brothers wouldn't, and she knew better than to mention a word of it to her father.

Finally, one bright fall morning, her father and brothers hitched up Bluebell, the family's blue-gray mare to their sturdy wagon full of corn, tomatoes, pumpkins and other vegetables and started off for the town marketplace. As Elana stood waving and watching them leave, she decided today would be the day to go back and look for Nisse. She went back inside to gather up her warm woolen cloak to wear over her pants and tunic, and went to the doorway. Her mother sat in the living room, sowing a button back on one of her father¡¦s work shirts. The Goldleaf's living room was fairly large, with a roaring fire going in the fireplace set against the far wall and, on the opposite side, large glass windows by the door. They had three comfortable chairs placed around a quaint little coffee table in the center. Some wooden folding chairs leaned against one corner of the room for when they had guests, which wasn¡¦t very often. In the corner next to the fireplace extra firewood was neatly stacked. A few woven rugs thrown here and there completed the room, and Elana had always thought it looked homey and comfortable, the way a living room should look.

"Mother, I am taking Hazel for a ride," she called. Her mother looked up from her sowing and said,

"If you go into the woods child, please be careful."

"H-- how did you know where I was going?" Elana asked, blushing. Her mother laughed and tossed back her dark wavy hair. Her storm colored eyes sparkled with merriment as she gazed back at her daughter.

"It's all over your face child!" she said. "I don't mind you going so much daughter, after all you just turned 16, but be careful and please come home at a decent hour so that your father and brothers don't worry". She turned back to her sowing but now Elana was wondering about something else.

"Mother," she began, "What sort of things live in the woods? Have you been in them before?" Her mother looked up and said,

"It seems to me I visited them on occasion, when I was younger. But Marlin made me promise never to go back. He worries so." She sighed a bit sadly and finished sowing on the button, breaking off the extra thread with her teeth.

Elana watched her mother for a moment, wondering why father wanted to keep them out of the woods so badly. Perhaps something terrible lived in them. She would ask Nisse about it when she found him. She turned and walked outside to find Hazel.

[Eisley the Mildly Insane]

Wow thats really good!!! Like I said I can't wait for more!!

[Cy Otauna]

Interesting. Sounds like Shannara to me too, or Lucas's Willow series. The universe -view is kinda confusing, i'm not sure if it's middle-ages type life or more modern, but you're writing style and plot stuff are good-I wanna know how the intro and the main part connect! i'll have a fic up here someday, but i gotta get around to typing it...it may be a time.

[Cenerue]

Thanks for your comments Sheildzup! I'll try and work on making it sound more medieval. The first part dosen't connect until a bit later I'm afraid. Any suggestions to make this story better are appreciated!

[Cenerue]

[glow=red,2,300]Chapter 4: The Thorn Demon[/glow]

Hazel was docile and dependable and not nearly as flighty as Bluebell. Elana loved the stocky brown horse dearly. Now as they trotted towards the forest, Hazel had her head up, sniffing. The horse knew they were not going to the Museum today. Elana's breath puffed out as they rode, making little clouds in the chilly air. The Fall weather made the horse frisky, and Elana was forced to rein her in a few times, but they made good progress and soon they were entering the forest. Elana dug into her pocket and pulled out the acorn Nisse had given her. She reined Hazel to a stop and tried to visualize the place the satyr had first appeared to her. The acorn gave off a faint green glow. Elana concentrated harder, trying to see in her mind the ring of oaks and the rock she had sat upon. She opened her eyes and the acorn was glowing a little bit brighter. A green ray of light shone down to the forest floor, startling Hazel and causing Elana to almost drop it. She grasped the glowing object firmly in one hand and calmed the startled horse down with the other. When she saw which way the light was pointing, she coaxed Hazel in the right direction. Hazel went slowly, lifting her head and sniffing suspiciously.

They were making good progress and Hazel was trotting along contentedly when suddenly a terrible scream came from their right. Hazel neighed and stopped short, ears back, nostrils working. Elana, caught unprepared, dropped the acorn and its green light immediately went out. Without the glowing light, the forest seemed to grow darker. Elana tried to see where the acorn had fallen but at that moment, Hazel reared, squealing in fright, and Elana grabbed for the saddle. Before she could regain control, the horse turned and galloped back the way they had come. The young girl hung on, trying to reach the reins which had fallen down the horses’ neck. She despaired of ever finding the acorn again. The terrible shriek came again, and Hazel ran faster. Elana looked behind her to see what was pursuing them and immediately wished she had not. All she could see was blackness and two terrible red eyes. The sight of it paralyzed her. She sat clinging to her galloping steed, half way turned to look back, and missed seeing the oak tree’s branches that seemed to reach down and snatch her right out of the saddle. Hazel bucked and tossed her head as for one awful second Elana’s cloak got caught in the reins, then the material ripped and the horse ran on without her. She screamed in the branches of the oak tree watching Hazel gallop away. Her cloak was ensnared in the thick branches, and she could not move. Her scream cut off abruptly when she saw what had been chasing them. It seemed to be all teeth and thorns. It had a terrible black face with red glowing eyes and a mouth full of thorny teeth. Branches and roots streamed from it as it ran on two crooked twig-like feet. As it raced by under her she saw it was almost as big as a Saint Bernard and looked very hungry. Hazel reached the edge of the forest and Elana watched the thing’s thorny back as it stopped and sent a blood curdling shriek of rage after her terrified horse.

Elana froze as the huge creature turned on its long twig feet and looked up, straight at her. It seemed to be a large black mass of leaves with branches, roots and thorns sticking out at odd angles all over its body. Elana kicked and struggled to free her tangled cloak as the horror came closer. The branches under her swayed gently and the leaves made a soft rustling, almost as if the tree were trying to comfort her. The monster stopped at the base of the tree, glaring upwards, and Cenerue noticed its “toes” were sharp thorns. It shrieked again and began to climb, using its thorny feet to find purchase on the gnarled wood of the oak.

As the creature climbed closer, Elana could feel a desperate scream building up inside. Half way up the monster let out yet another shriek, and the poor girl answered with her own scream, kicking her feet at the thing’s snapping teeth. “God, save me!” she cried, squeezing her eyes shut. Suddenly a hand gripped her shoulder, and her eyes snapped open as she let out another desperate scream. “Hush!” said a voice in her ear and she turned to stare in wonder at a beautiful woman’s face. Beautiful, but definitely not human. Her skin was a brownish gray, like bark and her hair seemed to be made up of green flowing leaves. The clothes she wore were also of leaves, woven together to form a short dress that came down to her mid thigh, leaving the gray- brown legs bare. Her calm eyes reminded Elana of Nisse’s and she instinctively trusted the being at once. The woman held out her hand and Elana gasped as she recognized the acorn. “You dropped something”, the woman said with a grin and suddenly whirled to face the monster that was almost upon them. She held up the acorn, which began to glow a brilliant green and yelled “Begone Thorn Demon!” The light flared in the creature’s face and it fell backwards, shrieking. It landed heavily on its back, legs kicking in the air and tried to hide its eyes from the light among the black foliage that made up its body. The woman stood in the branches next to Elana, who absently noticed that her feet were bare. A sudden chilling wind blew through the forest, stirring the woman’s strange hair and blowing up red and gold leaves to whirl in circles in front of her. Again she held up the glowing acorn and commanded the beast: “Begone!" The thorn creature scrambled up awkwardly from the forest floor and ran off into the woods, its screeches getting fainter the farther away it ran.

[Tiana, eh?]

I intend on posting some of my stuff later, I just don't have much time, so don't worry about being the only person with original fiction, Cenerue and Eisley.

It's not a bad update-- having lot's is good, don't worry! ; )

I do have to agree with Shieldzup though, it doesn't feel fantasy like in all of it-- it seems like some weird cross between modern and then... heh. Not that it's bad, but it's harder to get the feel for the characters that way. I know what it's like, of course-- for ages I fought to make my fantasy characters act right for their time!

[Cenerue]

Please give me an example if you can about how they seem too modern. Is it the house they live in, the things they say? Are they speaking too modern like? Do you think I should put some "thee's" and "thou's" in it? I really appreciate everyone's comments!

[Cenerue]

[glow=red,2,300]Chapter 5: Susa [/glow]

The wind gradually died down and the whirling leaves fluttered to the ground. The acorn’s light slowly faded in the woman’s hand. Elana looked around in bewilderment as the oak tree she was trapped in suddenly lowered its branches. In no time at all, she was back on the ground, her cloak pulling free easily. The woman jumped down beside her and bowed.

“My name is …” and here she made a sound like the wind rustling through leafy branches, “and I am a dryad” she finished. Elana stared.

“Um, what did you say your name was?” The dryad laughed and held out the acorn to her. She took it absentmindedly.

“Among the forest folk, my nickname was Susa, and you may also call me that if you wish.”

“The forest folk!” Elana thought to herself – “she must mean the fairies!” She bowed back to the dryad. “I am called Elana. Thank you for saving me from that horrible creature. What was that thing?”

“It was a Thorn Demon,” said Susa with a small shudder, “It is said that eons ago they were placed in this forest in order to keep out the kobolds and other dark creatures, but over the centuries, without someone to watch over them they gradually became darker of spirit; wild and more vicious. The story goes that the leader of the kobolds, Gathisor, was finally able to turn them to his dark purposes.” she pointed in the direction the creature had taken “That one would have certainly killed you. Their very bite is a fatal poison! But it was really my tree that saved you.” She placed her hand on the stout oak and made soft rustling noises at it. The tree’s leaves and branches moved independently, and it responded in kind. Except for meeting the satyr, Elana had never seen anything like it.

“Susa,” Elana began. “I was going to ask you about the forest folk.”

“Ahh,” said Susa with a sigh, “I miss them so! My sisters and I had such fun among the Fairies and the Undines, not to mention the Sylphs.” She peered at Elana curiously. “You even remind me of them a little.”

“I remind you of the fairies?” Elana asked dumbfounded, making Susa smile.

“You have a fey look about you,” she said.

“Are there any left who live in the Gray Woods?” Elana asked hopefully. The dryad shook her head, making the leaves of her dark green hair sway.

“No,” she said, “They and the other forest folk were driven from here ages ago and have gone, but no one knows where.” It was exactly as Nisse had told her. “Such a pity,” continued the dryad, “I have never seen more beautiful men than those among the forest kind. The stories my sisters could tell you about them would melt your heart!” she exclaimed, clasping her hands together over her leaf covered bosom.

“Where are your sisters?” Elana wanted to know.

“They live deeper in the forest,” she said, pointing off into the trees. “Now all I have left to talk to are the other dryads and Nisse himself.”

“You know Nisse?” asked Elana.

“Oh, so you’ve met him?” Susa asked in surprise, “I knew there was something special about you, or my tree wouldn’t have been so quick to grab you.”

“It was Nisse who gave me this,” Elana said, holding up the acorn, “I was on my way to visit him when the Thorn Demon scared poor Hazel and made me drop it.”

“Hazel?” the dryad asked curiously.

“My horse” explained Elana.

“Hmm,” murmured Susa, “Pretty name for a horse. Would you like some wine? It is a bit early for it I know,” she said, looking up at the sun. Elana followed her gaze and suddenly realized it was late afternoon.

“Oh my!” She exclaimed. “I’m sorry Susa but I must get home! Hazel returned home without me and my family will be very worried!”

“I understand,” Susa said with a sympathetic smile, “but please come again and talk to me. The other dryads don’t live on the edge of the forest as I do, and sometimes it can get lonely.” She brightened suddenly “Come another day and we can go visit my sisters! Then we can all tell you about the days when we lived among the other forest folk!” Elana thanked Susa hurriedly and promised to come back another day. She wrapped her cloak around her and began the long trek home at a fast walk.

The dryad watched her go for a long moment, then turned to her tree. “There’s something very familiar about her, my old friend.” The tree gently whirred something back at her, making her smile.

[Master Warious]

WOW. Your story is amazing! Your characters are fine with how they talk I think. Keep writing please!

[BEHIND YOU!!!]

There's nothing WRONG with the way they speak, it's merely that it doesn't have the full fantasy feel. Not that it's a problem, speaking fluent fantasy isn't easy.

Here, I'll try to show you what is meant.

“Among the forest folk, my nickname was Susa, and you may also call me that if you wish.”

“The forest folk!” Elana thought to herself – “she must mean the fairies!” She bowed back to the dryad. “I am called Elana. Thank you for saving me from that horrible creature. What was that thing?”

It could become:

“Amongst those of the forest, I am hailed as Susa, and thou may also call me that as well, if so you wish it.”

“The forest folk!” Elana thought to herself. “She must mean the fairies!” She bowed back to the dryad. “I am called Elana. I thank thee for saving me from that horrible creature. What t'was that thing, prithee?”<br>

I'm not the most fluent at that style, Eowyn's better than I am though. But I hope that helped you understand what I meant.

It's a great story, the update was very good.