Post by Tiana, eh? on Jan 18, 2006 23:52:07 GMT -5
Undeniable Proof that Emoticons are going to Take Over the Universe
Emoticons will take over the world.
It may not be an actively recognized fact, but the truth is simple. Every time you let one of those amusingly innocent avatars slip from your fingers as you type over an instant messenger, a forum, a chatroom, they steal just the tiniest portion of your brain. This is, of course, not widely recognized by scientists, as by this point their minds are so fried by the theories and possibilities of relativity that they refuse to notice and accept the pure blasphemous innocence reflected in the wicked, yet oxymoron seeming purity of a smiley face figure.
XP
It slowly fries your mind.
But, no, do not try to think of what each moment does to your mind! Instead, realize that every time you use chat speak, it is slowly gaining power. The universe is not held together by the Force, or even duct tape as some might believe. Instead, grammar, mathematics, the pure beliefs in 2 + 2 equaling 4… these are what pin the fabric of the universe together. The clichés, the innocence in simple words and facts…
And then in slips the simple mockery of a smiley face, created out of the simplest texts. All you have to do is look at it sideways, and : ) becomes a grinning face. It has ultimate control over your mind, because it has made you believe that it is. Not that it is a tiny bit of text made to impersonate a grinning face, but that somewhere, across the net of cyber waves building the internet, someone grinned.
By looking at that smiley, you have given it temporary control over your mind.
Now, this may seem innocent enough. After all, who hasn’t used a smiley face before? But slowly they are gaining their power, biding their time with their innocent uses of colon dash p to stick their tongues out at you, laughing manically within because soon they shall have all control! They cackle, because none suspect them, so tied up in their endless debates of politics, the meaning of life (42, for those who were interested), relativity, and randomly appearing chickens.
:-D, they say, a wide grin creeping over their face as you gaze at them without an inkling of an idea as to what they plan. Ph34r t3h em0t1con. They replace your proper grammar, your once clean thought patterns, and make things change. By simply existing, they alter the patterns of history through their steadily grinning faces.
And in the night, they cr33p up on you to cast weirdly malicious faces at you in your sleep, laughing at you as your eyes snap open and you search the shadows for what you just know is there, grinning behind you.
And what about ch4t sp34k? What about the shortened words, the mocking clipped speak used for ease of typing? What about h4ck0r sp34k, the replacement values of various words tw1sted to numerical and other keyboard speak? Th3y laugh t00, j00 kn0w. Life revolves around numbers, around grammar, around simple facts. Alter one of these, and soon with reality in distortion, all will fall apart and crumble as the universe is slowly rendered unable to stand on its own two metaphorical f33t.
But who would suspect something so innocent as an emoticon? After all, everyone uses them. Who would blame it on |337 sp34k? How are they to know that replacing normality with numbers will slowly cause confusion within the universe? H0w are th3y to become aware of the reality of their ultimate demise without someone to tell them the grave danger within the background of their every conversation over AIM? Blame it all on the Russians, or the CIA, or terrorists from Middle-east. They’re the guilty ones, they say.
Hah! No one expects multiple punctuation marks to stab their deadly exclamation-used knives into your heart!!! H4ha!!!1 If only you knew. What is religion in the face of the pure nefarious villainy of XD? Lol shall laugh in ur face it laughs aloud at you. LOLOLOLO000L!! Lawl!!! What terrors stand against the awesome powers of >X-( as it glowers down at you from its horizontal status? N0th1ng, of course, but who’s to realize that? No one has been informed the truth. And the truth must get out. Every time u s4y t3h w0rds, u type t3h m4lic10us and 0th3rw1s3 3v1ln355 of t3h smili35, th3y—AHHHH!! N00000!! 1’V3 B33N HAXx0R3D!!! PWNED!!! N00000000000000000000000…
U mu5t r34liz3 u r d00m3d. Bwhaha4444444444444!!!!1
Emoticons will take over the world.
It may not be an actively recognized fact, but the truth is simple. Every time you let one of those amusingly innocent avatars slip from your fingers as you type over an instant messenger, a forum, a chatroom, they steal just the tiniest portion of your brain. This is, of course, not widely recognized by scientists, as by this point their minds are so fried by the theories and possibilities of relativity that they refuse to notice and accept the pure blasphemous innocence reflected in the wicked, yet oxymoron seeming purity of a smiley face figure.
XP
It slowly fries your mind.
But, no, do not try to think of what each moment does to your mind! Instead, realize that every time you use chat speak, it is slowly gaining power. The universe is not held together by the Force, or even duct tape as some might believe. Instead, grammar, mathematics, the pure beliefs in 2 + 2 equaling 4… these are what pin the fabric of the universe together. The clichés, the innocence in simple words and facts…
And then in slips the simple mockery of a smiley face, created out of the simplest texts. All you have to do is look at it sideways, and : ) becomes a grinning face. It has ultimate control over your mind, because it has made you believe that it is. Not that it is a tiny bit of text made to impersonate a grinning face, but that somewhere, across the net of cyber waves building the internet, someone grinned.
By looking at that smiley, you have given it temporary control over your mind.
Now, this may seem innocent enough. After all, who hasn’t used a smiley face before? But slowly they are gaining their power, biding their time with their innocent uses of colon dash p to stick their tongues out at you, laughing manically within because soon they shall have all control! They cackle, because none suspect them, so tied up in their endless debates of politics, the meaning of life (42, for those who were interested), relativity, and randomly appearing chickens.
:-D, they say, a wide grin creeping over their face as you gaze at them without an inkling of an idea as to what they plan. Ph34r t3h em0t1con. They replace your proper grammar, your once clean thought patterns, and make things change. By simply existing, they alter the patterns of history through their steadily grinning faces.
And in the night, they cr33p up on you to cast weirdly malicious faces at you in your sleep, laughing at you as your eyes snap open and you search the shadows for what you just know is there, grinning behind you.
And what about ch4t sp34k? What about the shortened words, the mocking clipped speak used for ease of typing? What about h4ck0r sp34k, the replacement values of various words tw1sted to numerical and other keyboard speak? Th3y laugh t00, j00 kn0w. Life revolves around numbers, around grammar, around simple facts. Alter one of these, and soon with reality in distortion, all will fall apart and crumble as the universe is slowly rendered unable to stand on its own two metaphorical f33t.
But who would suspect something so innocent as an emoticon? After all, everyone uses them. Who would blame it on |337 sp34k? How are they to know that replacing normality with numbers will slowly cause confusion within the universe? H0w are th3y to become aware of the reality of their ultimate demise without someone to tell them the grave danger within the background of their every conversation over AIM? Blame it all on the Russians, or the CIA, or terrorists from Middle-east. They’re the guilty ones, they say.
Hah! No one expects multiple punctuation marks to stab their deadly exclamation-used knives into your heart!!! H4ha!!!1 If only you knew. What is religion in the face of the pure nefarious villainy of XD? Lol shall laugh in ur face it laughs aloud at you. LOLOLOLO000L!! Lawl!!! What terrors stand against the awesome powers of >X-( as it glowers down at you from its horizontal status? N0th1ng, of course, but who’s to realize that? No one has been informed the truth. And the truth must get out. Every time u s4y t3h w0rds, u type t3h m4lic10us and 0th3rw1s3 3v1ln355 of t3h smili35, th3y—AHHHH!! N00000!! 1’V3 B33N HAXx0R3D!!! PWNED!!! N00000000000000000000000…
U mu5t r34liz3 u r d00m3d. Bwhaha4444444444444!!!!1
