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Post by Tiana, eh? on Mar 27, 2004 18:52:42 GMT -5
Welcome to the spoofed Star Wars RPG forum. OOC all you want, AU all you want. Turn Yoda orange, Sith beware... err, I mean Jedi.
Play with garlic, be random. Teleport Frodo into the Jedi Temple...
Note: This is in the Jedi Temple...
Hey, have fun, be random... In here, I will be Tiana Skywalker, Jandalf's very odd Padawan...
heh heh.
Welcome to randomness, Mr. Anderson...
-Eowyn Skywalker
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Mar 28, 2004 17:13:13 GMT -5
"Well, Padawan. Finished cleaning up the shaving cream, I see?"
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Mar 28, 2004 19:56:44 GMT -5
"Sigh." Tiana, Jandalf's Padawan... crazy Padawan, I might note... sighed. "Yes, Master."
Previously, there had been a shaving cream war... regarding Garlic, for some odd reason no one but them could fathom. (OOC: See Fanfiction.net story: Paint Wars: The Garlic Menace... not posted here yet)
There was shaving cream everywhere in the Jedi Temple, Yoda was ordering garlic pizzas all around... Obi-Wan and Anakin had both been cloned bcause they were... umm... terminated... and well, you get the general picture. Havoc. Everywhere.
The few Jedi that hadn't died from the garlic stench, or collapsed, unconscious where attempting to clean up the Temple... under the watchful eyes of Yoda, who now looked faintly like a cotton candy ball... being that he was pink now.
Jandalf and Mace Windu were still on Janitor duty because of that prank...
Oh... the intro... just to stick to tradition... A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... there were Jedi Knights. And these Jedi were the upholders of the peace... and the wielders of the Force...
The masters were serious all the time, and the Jedi Temple was a place of quiet contemplation... well, not all the time... Sometimes strange things happened...
And well... this was one of those strange times... heh heh...
Out of all the 152763 (plus 3) there were almost none that were sane now...
And those that were, were probably about to be drove crazy because of the antics of Jandalf and Tiana... the insane Master \ Padawan duo...
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Mar 29, 2004 13:07:51 GMT -5
"Heh." Jandalf squeezed out the mop in the janitor bucket thingie as she crossed the hall. "Well, then, I suppose you could get dinner ready--Hey, what's the face for? Just pop in a couple of TV dinners and nucleate them for a few minutes. Not that hard."
Then, for no particular reason at all, Jandalf brought the mop up and Mace Windu received a wet smack on the back of his head.
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Mar 30, 2004 0:36:29 GMT -5
(OOC: I've updated Attack of the Garlic, Jandalf. You must read it... Okay, no more OOC.)
"Sigh,"
Tiana sighed, if that wasn't already obvious. "MASTER,' she shouted, since that was obvious too... "QUIT SMACKING MACE WINDU WITH THAT MOP!"
As the two Jedi Knights were still on Janitor duty... well, let us just say that the Jedi Temple was wet, apart from smelling like garlic... and... well... yah.
Tiana threw in the TV dinners into the microwave, and nuculated them.
She neglected though, to remove the plasic (otherwise this might be a boring story) and blew up the microwave.
"SHALL I ORDER PIZZA INSTEAD?!?!" she shouted.
Yoda ran in, salavitating over a garlic pizza, and Tiana rolled her eyes, for no reson at all.
Then she died, being that she seemed to no withstand garlic. Wait, that was only if she ATE it... never mind.
Tiana fumed at the author, and proceeded to order Chinese instead, putting it on her master's credit card, as usual.
She laced it with arcenic, and went to find Anakin... who was planting garlic, as usual...
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Mar 30, 2004 1:43:50 GMT -5
"PADAWAN!" Jandalf shouted in fury. "QUIT USING MY CREDIT CARD! GET A NEW MICROWAVE, AND SMACK ANAKIN WHILE YOU'RE AT IT...YOU HAVE MY CONSENT!"
"What?" demanded Obi-Wan, rounding the corner.
Jandalf blinked. "Erm...only in the best possible way, of course...well, you can't deny the brat needs a good smacking."
Obi-Wan's mouth twitched. "...Touché. I can't." He went off in search for Anakin, following the smell of the garlic.
Jandalf shrugged and drew a chalk outline around Mace Windu, who was currently lying on the floor, unconscious.
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Mar 30, 2004 1:50:13 GMT -5
Tiana pouted, and hid the credit card behind her back. "Master, I don't want a new microwave. Do you want the Temple to collapse from stray X-ray beams?"
She then realized that her master was busy tracing Master Windu, and went off to find Anakin.
He was planting garlic, logically. What else would he be doing...?
...five minutes later...
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY PADAWAN???????????" screamed Obi-Wan at Tiana.
"MASTER, HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Tiana.
Anakin was lying dead on the floor... his garlic plants spreading wildly over the Temple...
Obi-Wan attempted to kill Tiana, but, as she was rather hard to kill, failed.
He skidded on the freshly waxed floor (No, don't ask...) and fell over the unconscious Mace Windu.
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Apr 2, 2004 18:43:18 GMT -5
"Padawan," said Jandalf, ignoring the fact that five minutes had passed already, "don't you think that any stray microwave beams would be irrelevant by now? 152763 Temple microwaves have exploded in the past month alone."
She then looked down and stared in fascination at the sight of Anakin lying there, unconcious or dead, his garlic plants growing on the heap of soil that someone had deigned to pour on top of him. "Erm...?"
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Apr 3, 2004 16:55:19 GMT -5
Tiana cringed. "Erm... well... hmmm... errrr... yeah. I have a bad feeling about this?"
Suddenly a stray microwave ray rebounded off a mirror, and zapped Yoda, causing him to turn Galadriel-during-mirror-sceneish...
"What was that about stray micowave beams, master?" asked Taina.
Both of them cringed. "Yeah?"
"And how many have exploded?"
"Why me?" asked Jandalf.
"Are you sure you want a new microwave?" asked Tiana, fingering Yoda's credit card that she had lifted somehow earlier. "Want some garlic?"
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Apr 4, 2004 17:13:00 GMT -5
"Yes, I want a new microwave," Jandalf growled, "and NO, I DON'T WANT GARLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT OFFERING ME GARLIC??!!??"
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Apr 4, 2004 22:22:56 GMT -5
Tiana pouted. "But WHY NOT, master???????????????" After a few minutes of pouting crazilly, she walked off... after lifting Mace's credit card first, of course.
Suddenly she popped back with a loud kavaam. "Garlic, anyone?!... Ahhhhhhhhh..."
She redisappeared as she noticed that her master was still standing there, glowering at her.
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Post by Lindo on Apr 9, 2004 20:17:41 GMT -5
"Ooooooh, whassthis?" Lindo...um...ooohed, poking at a fluctuating mass of nothing-ness underneath her bed.
She had begun the yearly task of cleaning under her bed, and had been suprised to find that everything underneath it was gone, and a large ball of black...Well, nothingness was instead floating underneath. Deciding it needed some testing she wandered off to get her dog Taffy.
"Woof?" barked Taffy, sniffing at the ball to see if it was edible. This was then followed by a much more distressed 'woof' and he was sucked into the black-hole-type-thingy.
"Coooool," Lindo said appreciatively. She then found a few more disposable items which she tossed through the hole. She was pleasantly suprised when the hole grew each time it ingested something. After the addition of her biology textbook, her smelly markers and some old clothes she wasn't allowed to wear to school the hole grew to such a size that it swallowed her bed whole. Being blessfully ignorant of the laws of physics, or indeed common sense Lindo proceeded to dive headfirst into the black hole.
"Wheeeeeeeeeeee" THUMP "OWIE!!!!!!"
"WOOOOF!"
CRASH
Lindo and Taffy regained consciousness sometime later and found themselves (along with all of Lindo's tossed possesions) stuck in what appeared to be a janatorial closet. Much to her dismay the door was locked from the outside.
Deciding she did not want to spend the rest of eternity in a broom closet she did the only thing she could; screamed bloody murder in the hopes that someone would come and let her out.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-*gasp*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAH*gasp*" Lindo finally lost consciousness from lack of oxygen. Taffy then took up the chorus "KIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEE
ESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hiii! sorry if that was long, I had to introduce myself somehow though. MWAHAHAAAAAAAAA
(Eowyn Skywalker: Long is good, peoples. I'm only modifiying this because it's... well... stretched funny... I'm trying to fix that. Sorry about the edit.)
(Aggg... acursed internet!!!!!! Looks like we're going to have to read funny stretched text, if it keeps this up ...)
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Apr 9, 2004 21:08:23 GMT -5
(OOC: Okay, if none of us do any long "AAAHHH..."s or if we do, out dashes in them every break, it should be fine and readible. Sorry about editing your post, Lindo, but it stretched funny... so I put the dashes in. END OOC)
"Ummm..."
Tiana noticed that there was a loud sceaming coming from the utility clostet. Being like that, Tiana stood there, and contamplated opening it. After a time, the closet stopped screaming, and started shouting, 'KIBBLES'
Tiana stopped. "KIBBLES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" She was then greeted by a flying dog who had heard the magic word, and attacked her because of that.
After attemping to kavaam the dog away, (Whom, she assumed was Taffy, because Taffy was the only dog that she knew of that liked kibbles that much.) Tiana actually opened the closet, and was greeted by a few text books, and some old clothes.
Tiana quirked her eyebrows, then noticed that there was also a girl in there. "Hello?" asked Tiana. "MASTER, THERE'S AN UNCONSCIOUS GIRL IN THE CLOSTET!!!!!!!"
After trying unsucsessfully to wake up the unconscious girl, and giving up on her master having heard her anytime soon, she pulled out the garlic and waved it around...
"WAKE UP!!!!!" she shouted. "OR I'LL FEED YOUR DOG GARLIC FLAVORED KIBBLES!!!!!!!!!!"
Of course, that wasn't the wisest thing to do, and soon, every dog in the neighborhood was attacking her for kibbles.
"AHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!" screamed Tiana. "DYE, YOU EVIL MINIONS OF FUR!!!!!!!!!"
She then proceeded to dye everyone purple. "Umm... oops? How did that happen?"
(OOC: Long is good, and welcome to the RPGs, Lindo Bakkins...)
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Post by Lindo on Apr 11, 2004 16:16:19 GMT -5
(OOC yay! I love spoofing. I'll try to avoid my really odd screaming!)
Taffy and the other dogs were momentarily confused by their new state of purple-ness, but then remembered that they were color blind and continued their assault.
Lindo was woken up by Tiana's shrieks, and the yelping of dogs as they were hit by her Jedi powers.
"Nnng?" was all Lindo could manage as she recovered from her extreme oxygen loss.
After a few experimental bites (of Tiana) the dogs finally figured out that she was not composed of kibbles and indstead decided to chew Lindo.
"EEEEEW! DOGGY SLIME! BAD DOGS! BAD DOGGIES! STUPID STUPID TAFFY!" Lindo shrieked, booting Taffy and then whacking the other dogs with a newspaper she had somehow brought with her throught the black hole.
After awhile the dogs dispersed, some going back to wherever it was they came from, and others wandering through the Jedi temple chewing on any Masters they could find. Taffy sulked, and crawled under Lindo's bed.
After calming herself down Lindo looked around her. Noticing Tiana she waved happily, "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!"
She then took a close look at her hand, "Oh...Um...Just so you know, i'm not normally purple."
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Apr 11, 2004 18:42:09 GMT -5
Tiana attempted to use her Jedi powers on the dogs, and then gave up, being that she couldn't do anything but turn them purple or green, seemingly.
So she gave up, and used her master's magic staff that she had borrowed on them... but it didn't work, and just made everything smell like garlic.
"HIIIIIIIIII!!!" said Lindo.
Tiana just made faces, stared, and looked stupid, while hiding Jandalf's staff, and Yoda's lightsaber... one credit card, and a zapped out lightsaber.
Lindo stared at her hand. "Just so that you know, I'm not normally purple."
"Umm... erk... ahhh... erm..." Tiana was stunned. "...Did I turn you purple?" She continued making odd faces. "Erk... umm... agg..."
In the meantime, the dogs discovered that Anakin had created garlic flavored kibbles, and ended up with bad breath.
Meanwhile:
Tiana kept up making faces. "I knew I never should've taken Jandalf's staff," she muttered. "I just can never kavaam things right... ...wait... ANAKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Anakin scrurried out from where he was growing more garlic plants.
Tiana waved around the borrowed staff of her master's, and somehow managed to cover Anakin in purple polka-dotted shaving cream.
Tiana rolled her eyes. "Ummmm... Do you know anything about magic staffs?"
Lindo stared at her blankly, and then Tiana realized that she was still suffering from lack of air... or maybe it had to do with the fact that everything smelled like garlic.
Tiana rolled her eyes. "MASTER, GET OVER HERE!!!" she shouted.
(OOC: Sceaming is okay, just don't overdo it... I'll fix it if you do... spoofing is fun... and if anyone else wants to join, then go for it. Just post an OOC note, and come up with a way to enter.)
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Post by Lindo on Apr 13, 2004 19:00:10 GMT -5
Lindo's nostrils had shut down from the extreme stench of garlic. She did however notice that Tiana was holding onto something familiar.
"JANDALF'S HERE!" she screeched happily, "she can make me not purple! HURRAY!"
Taffy, noticing his mistresses improved mood ran up to her, "KIBBLES?"
Lindo happily kicked him again.
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Apr 13, 2004 19:06:44 GMT -5
"What, you KNOW Jandalf?!" Then Tiana remembered that Lindo was part of a spoof with Jandalf. "Ahhhh... right. Well... without her staff, she can't make you unpurpled."
Tiana then recalled that she was holding garlic, and the fact that the garlic was deadly evil. She quickly pulled a ziploc bag out of her pocket, and hid the garlic.
However, being that this is a spoof, she decided that it was useless to keep the garlic in a bag, and decided to eat it instead...
Of course, being the character that she was... Jedi Padawan and all... she had to dye... wait, did I say dye? Oh well... I don't know how, but somehow she turned purple in the prossess of gagging on the garlic.
"Akk... not again..."
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Post by Lindo on Apr 13, 2004 19:42:04 GMT -5
"HAH! Now you're purple too!" Lindo exclaimed.
Her nose finally reactivated as Tiana ate the evil evil garlic.
"We'd better go find Janell so that she can unpurple us," she said before choosing a random direction and wandering off. She returned a few moments later to grab Taffy from where he had been nawing on a fallen piece of garlic. "Stupid dog."
She then wandered off again.
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Apr 13, 2004 19:50:35 GMT -5
"Well... at least I'm not pink," muttered Tiana, as she hated pink. "Where's Jedi general Master Jandalf when you need her? WE'RE ALL DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!" she screamed randomly. "WE'RE DOOMED!!!!!!!! MWHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!! 1+5 4 (0|\|5P1|24'/!!!!!!!!!!! DOOM! DOOM! DOOMED!!!! HAA-HAA-HAA-HAAAAAAA!!!"
She followed Lindo in the random direction, and ended up following the Yellow Brick road pointlessly, because she had no clue where Jandalf was hiding... if she was.
Tiana juggled with garlic randomly, whilst following Lindo in a random direction in the hopes to become up purpled. Although, she thought, at least if I'm purple it'll show that not all Jedi are color-blind... brown and cream is so typical for a Jedi.
Being that her mind was on pointless things such as that, she never even thought to pull out her comlink to contact Jandalf. Or just pull out the garlic, and scream at everyone 'WANT SOME GARLIC?!'
But Tiana couldn't think that way... even though that would've called Jandalf fast. She just followed Lindo, and hoped not to run into Yoda...
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Apr 14, 2004 18:45:03 GMT -5
Suddenly, to everyone's incredible fright, Jandalf materialized right in front of them, laughing hysterically.
After being kicked repeatedly by Lindo and Tiana, she finally got up off the yellow brick road, wiping tears from her eyes. "Ahhh...Master Windu looks funny with a fro." Then she noticed the purply state of Lindo and her Padawan. "Erm...what..."
"TURN US UNPURPLE!!!!!!!" they screamed at her simultaneously.
Jandalf's face turned white. "But...but...nothing rhymes with purple..."
"WHAAAAAAAATTTTTT??!!!??" they shrieked in panic.
"It's true," sobbed Jandalf. "No word in the English language rhymes with purple. We'll have to try something else."
Tiana and Lindo looked at each other helplessly.
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