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Post by Cy Otauna on Aug 26, 2004 19:14:08 GMT -5
*peers in at chaos near corner where PG fairy is looking morbid* ...thank the Force she got lost in that RPG...that seems to happen to her lately...*mistakingly steps in Obi-wan and Figwit's pit* NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! *clunk* eep--
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Aug 26, 2004 23:05:30 GMT -5
Obi-Wan: Uh...(calls down) Sorry about that! The landing was supposed to be a little softer! (to Faramir) We should really throw a pillow down there, or something. They need to stay alive to eat, after all.
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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Aug 29, 2004 0:28:47 GMT -5
Faramir: (Watches Obi-wan move earth with the Force) WOW! You really ARE my new best friend! Uh, hey, when this is all said and done, could you... uh.. well, I've been having problems with this guy named Boromir.. and since you've got magicy-cool powers...
Figwit: HEY! Let's stay on topic, Far.
Far: Right. So, we've got a pit. Anakin's got pepperoni pizza, Morgoth and Sauron have joined us, and Yoda is unconscious in the bottom of our pit. Hmmm. I think you're on to something with the pillow idea, Obi-wan. And you're right about the scones: They're too good to waste on our pathetic organic counterparts.
Fig: (glowing with pride) I made them myself!
Far: Do I know you? Fig: *sigh* Another session of counseling coming my way, I can feel it...
Far: Okay, our authors have grown wiser. Donuts obviously won't work any more, and I'm not even certain a simple pit will trick them all. It'll get Maeg, but I'm not sure about the others.
Maeg: What's THAT supposed to mean? Far: you're not supposed to be hearing this. Maeg: Oh. Shutting up, then. Far: Thank you.
Fig: I know! We'll put a fancy rug over the pit and have these big signs advertising free pizza! The pizza will be on the rug, and these big arrow signs will point to it! That always works in cartoons! Y'know, Wile E. Coyote?
Far: Fig, the Roadrunner NEVER falls for that, even when the Coyote uses birdseed.
Fig: Darn. Anybody have any other ideas?
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Aug 29, 2004 1:15:02 GMT -5
Anakin: Are our co-authors smart enough to NOT fall for that? Well... I mean... I know JANDALF won't fall for something like that... I don't think. Well, I HOPE she doesn't. I hold her in great respect... ummm... anyhow... Tiana/Eowyn is being weird right now, I don't think she'd think that doing the Loony Toons thing would be a trap, and all... but it might be better to try something else. So, anyhow, the pit should get Maeg, Tiana, and maybe a few of the others... but unlikely that it'll get Jandalf and Shadow. VERY unlikely. But maybe the rest will fall for the free pizza thing. For the other ones though...
Narrator: *walks over* Can I join you? Eowyn is trying to kill me for dropping her off on Arrakis a LONG time ago... *mutters* Well, I don't even think she's Eowyn/Tiana anymore... I'm really wondering about that girl...
Anakin: Hey, Narrator! Hey, do you have a real name?
Narrator: Never took one-- why would they give me one? No, I'm always there, narrating, but do people notice me? Nooooooo... *mutters* Anyhow, why don't we set up a trap with a bunch of cages and wires and poles, and hang a sign above it that says 'This is a trap'. I'm sure our co-authors will walk right into it.
***
Eowyn: Hey, everyone's ignoring me! *growls* And after all that work trying to go Galadriel... mutter. Oh well, Shadow's taking my place, it's MY turn to get to do all the fun effects, and stuff... *draws lightsaber, and walks over to Anakin and them, falls into very deep hole* Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... *lands on trampoline that happens to be under there...* aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... *falls back down* AAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS YYYYYOOOOUUUU WWWWIIIIIIISSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH... *thud* Ow!
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Post by Cy Otauna on Aug 29, 2004 10:08:10 GMT -5
*at bottom of pit* oh hi ben...yoda's down here too? how'd he get pulled into this i though he's smarter than that... the incarnation of the question marks i am...denote smartness this does not.
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Aug 29, 2004 18:34:57 GMT -5
Jandalf: (wakes suddenly, and grabs Anakin's collar) What? What did you say? Pizza? Where? Huh? Huh? TELL ME!!!!
Pizza Sign of Wonder, made by Faramir, put up by Obi-Wan: (glows in the glory of yummyness)
Jandalf: AHA!!!!! (runs toward it, sees Obi-Wan, halts in her tracks) Errr...AHA!!! (runs to Obi-Wan, jumps on him)
Obi-Wan: FARAMIR!!! IT BACKFIRED!!! Although I don't mind that much. But...but...(wails) THE SCONES!!!!
Jandalf: (rolls eyes) Ohhh, was the nasty captain trying to corrupt you? I make scones. You know that. Even the cranberry ones.
Obi-Wan: Ooh. Well...errr...he did try to turn me over to the dark side, anyway. (waves cheerfully) Sorry about all this, Faramir. I hope the pillow idea works out okay.
Narrator: A random Fremen band all of a sudden appears in the middle of everything. Heehee...I'm so evil...
Random Fremen: TAQWA!!!! YOUR WATER IS OURS!!!
(Jandalf and Obi-Wan scream and run away)
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Aug 29, 2004 18:52:24 GMT -5
(MY co-author is narrator... you can to call yours narrator one or something... snicker.)
Narrator 2: SITHSPIT! I KNEW DROPPING EOWYN OFF ON ARRAKIS WAS A BAD IDEA!!!!
Eowyn: *from bottom of the pit* If they're looking for someone called Aliaon, she's not here...
Anakin: I was WONDERING who Aliaon was...
Eowyn: Hey, I CAN'T HELP I USED AN ALIAS... *mutters* THROW WATER BALLONS AT THEM, OR SOMETHING!!!!!!
Anakin: No way!
Eowyn: Hey, they're the water freaks...
Anakin: Ooooooh... I thought they were incarations of Frodo.
Narrator: Anakin thinks this merely because of the eyes.
Eowyn: Just get me out of this pit, or I'll go crazy.
Anakin: Ummmm...
Eowyn: Oh, just shut up.
Narrator: Hey, fellow narrator, you can't make it RAIN, can you... ummm... *runs really, really fast as random Fremen chases her* DARN!
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Post by Cy Otauna on Aug 30, 2004 13:11:15 GMT -5
*clambering up out of pit* hey you guys!! *random fremen looks over menacingly* i know this place with lots and lots of water free for the taking..planet called Tatooine, that way *points. fremen in the area run off* heehee... verging on the dark side, that was. oh well.
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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Sept 2, 2004 1:17:23 GMT -5
(Faramir's eyes go red and he grabs the nearest Freman, kicking him across the room. Faramir hisses and starts foaming at the mouth.) Far: MY BEAUTIFUL PLAN, PRECIOUSSS! IT BACKFIRED! OBI-WAN LEFT THE DARKSIDE! I ALMOST HAD HIM! BWAAA! Fig: Wooo, you're starting to creep me out, Far. Far: AND WHO PUT THE TRAMPOLINE IN MY PITFALL TRAP? AND WHY DIDN'T JANDALF FALL FOR MY BEAUTIFUL PIZZA SIGN?! Fig: (nervous) I.. uh... Have to go... left the... microwave plugged in... Far: (grabs Fig's collar) WHY DIDN"T IT WORK? Fig: (very afraid) Dunno! Far: ALL I WANTED WAS A CONSPIRITORIAL CORNER FREE OF THAT CREATURE! (points at Maeg, who is playing Candyland with a random freman.) WHY! DIDN'T! IT! WORK! (shakes poor figgy) Fig: (Fearing for his life) I-don't-know-but-killing-me-won't-help! Far: GAH! If it wasn't for that stupid lightsaber, we would have had her trapped in the bendy straw corral ages ago! And her goofy little friends, too! (realizes he's been choking Fig, holding him several inches above ground) Whups... (drops Fig) Fig: Hurk! (falls to ground) Ulk! Far: (pulls on a black cape, holds a flashlight up to his face) Come, my minion. It is time to release the ultimate evil! Fig: Who, Sephiroth? Waaait.. Did you call me your MINION? Far: No, not that stupid one-winged angel! Even he is no match for my CLONE ARMY! Fig: You have a CLONE ARMY? (Far holds up a paper envelope. It reads INSTANT CLONE ARMY. JUST ADD WATER. He adds Figwit's iced tea to the envelope.) POW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Far: I do now! Fig: They're horrid! They're terrifying! They're... Fig: ... Hobbits? Far: yes, hobbits! And one droid. The hobbits will eat Maeg and her friends' out of house and home! No scone, garlic clove, or pepperoni pizza will be safe from my HOBBIT ARMY! Fig: What about artoo? Far: he's there for emotional support. ARTOO: Beep bwoop boop beep! Far: See? I feel better already!
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Sept 2, 2004 11:02:41 GMT -5
Random Fremen: (pasted to wall) Gurgle...Taqwa...
Jandalf: (smacks him) SHUT UP!!! It's not my fault your pals ran off to Tatooine. Heehee.
Narrator One: And the Horrible Horrible Hobbit Army with the Emotional Support Droid begins to invade the land of Co-Authors.
Obi-Wan: NOOOO!!! MY SCONES!!! NOT MY SCONES!! (eats them hurriedly) HAH!!! I HAVE FOILED YOU, AND...aww, isn't that droid so cute?
Jandalf: (gasps) NO!! IT'S TAKING YOU IN!!! LOOK AWAY!!
Obi-Wan: But he's my friend. (walks toward astromech droid, pats it on the dome) Hello there, my little friend.
Jandalf: (wails) AND NOW HE'S QUOTING HIMSELF!!!
Other Random Fremen: (gets trapped in the Molasses Swamp while Maeg gloats) NOOO!!! YOUR WATER IS MINE, OFFWORLDER!! YOU GO TO THE DEATHSTILLS!!!
Jandalf: (thinks rapidly, pulls out a little packet) Heh heh...instant mushrooms... (tears it open and throws it into a random puddle)
Narrator One: And in an instant, there was a greatly giant mound of...MUSHROOMS!!!
Hobbit Clone Army: MUSHROOMS!!! YUMMY!!!
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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Sept 3, 2004 0:20:11 GMT -5
Faramir: GAK! Not MUSHROOMS! My hobbit army's ONLY WEAKNESS!
Hobbit army: (In unison) Oooh, MUSHROOMS!
Faramir: Well, at least Artoo is still focusing on the topic at hand. He will win over the hearts and minds of my co-authors, who will then obey ME!
Figwit: And how exactly will THAT work? Far: I... Well... I... Uh... Don't you have food in the oven or something? Fig: YEEP! My crepes! I thought I smelled something burning!
Hobbit army: CREPES? Are those like mushrooms? Fig: Ulp! (hobbits jump him.) Far: I knew those hobbits were good for something.
MEANWHILE... Freman: Cursed mollasses swamp... Maeg: HAH! Green! I go forward three spaces! YES! I get to meet Princess Lolly! Freman: GAH! I am STILL stuck in the Mollasses Swamp. Curse you, Land of Confectionary Goodies! Maeg: That's not being very sportsmanlike. Hobbit Army: Lollies? WHERE?! (Hobbits start eating game peices.) Maeg: HEY! It ate my green plastic gingerbread man! Now how will I know where I am? Freman: Hah! Hah! You must start at the beginning, Offworlder! And since the short creature spat my red cookie man across the board to the candy castle, I am no longer in the molasses swamp! By the rules of my homeworld, that makes me the winner! Maeg: WHA?! Freman: Eat that! Hobbits: Thanks, we will! (they devour the entire board) Maeg: So... a stalemate, then?
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Sept 3, 2004 2:37:14 GMT -5
Narrator 2: In the meantime, Eowyn Skywalker was quite unPGly taking out her frusteration on the nearest fremen. That proved to be a big mistake-- and she would've been killed had she not happened to fall backwards into a random hole that appeared from nowhere.
Eowyn: *words that can't be posted due to censors*
Anakin: EOWYN!!!!!!!!
Eowyn: I just fell into a hole, there's MUD in my HAIR, not to mention other worse things that I shall decline to mention in case anyone is eating at the moment, and there is a random fremen shouting at me about water. OF COURSE I'M UPSET!!!!!!!!!!! *Mutter*
Random fremen: OFFWORLDER! DIE!
Anakin: But... but... YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S OFF YOUR WORLD!!!! This doesn't look like Arrakis to me...
Narrator 2: *hides grin*
Random fremen: *faints*
Eowyn: Okay, will someone please explain why we're in Mordor...?
Anakin: Oooo! MUSHROOMS!!!!!!!!!!
Eowyn: *rolls eyes* You are pathetic. MY CO-AUTHORS ABANDON ME YET!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
((mutters something about how everything turns into an RPG on M.E.))
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Sept 3, 2004 12:00:15 GMT -5
Bob: *standing on chair, frantically waving his hands* No!! It must not be allowed to happen! One of them is enough!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *is suddenly surrounded by hundreds of Frodo's all chanting rhythimically*
Frodos: Ring goes on, Ring goes off, Ring goes on, Ring goes off, Ring goes on, Ring goes off, Ring goes on, Ring goes off, Ring goes on.....
Bob: WILL IT NEVER END!!!
Dun: *snicker* That's what you get for re-dying your cloak. Now they all know who you are *evile laughter*
Frodos: Ring goes on, Ring goes off, Ring goes on, Ring goes off, Ring goes on, Ring goes off, Ring goes on, Ring goes off......
Bob: You cursed little.... *dives off of chair at Dun* DIE!!!
Dun: Wait! Not PG! NOT PG!!! *runs away*
Bob: I'll catch you, you shadow-spawned Frodo sicker!! You evil manic Elf Ninja you!! I don't care if you do have fruit! I'm COMING FOR YOU!!!!
Dun: *says some very un-PG words, and throws banana peel over shoulder* AGH!! Help!!
Bob: *slips on peel* Oh, curse....
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Sept 3, 2004 14:34:17 GMT -5
Obi-Wan: (hugs Artoo) Isn't he so cute? Jandalf: (still wailing) NOOO!!! NOT OBI-WAN!!! I THOUGHT THAT CURSED THING WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE IN US MIDDLE-EARTHIANS, NOT...NOT... Obi-Wan: Oh, cheer up. Look, I can make him dance. (takes out lightsaber and sears some of Artoo's circuits) Artoo: (spins in an enraged circle) TWEEDLE-DOODLE-BLEEP!!! (lets out disgusted raspberry and zaps Obi-Wan with his welder arm) Obi-Wan: YOWCH!!! Why, you little... (swings lightsaber) Jandalf: Heh. (watches Artoo's dome roll around on the floor) Yeah, cute. Hobbit Army: (skips along, chanting) Ring goes on, Ring goes off. Ring goes on, Ring goes off. Jandalf: Reference provided here. Just scroll down the list until you reach the title One Ring to Rule Them All 2. You know, the one with the pic of crazy Gollum beside it. Heh heh...good flash movie. Obi-Wan: (busy making scrap metal out of Artoo) TEACH YOU TO ZAP ME!!!!!
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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Sept 5, 2004 23:54:47 GMT -5
Far: Great. Another plan ruined. Figgy's in the hospital with hobbit feet marks all over him, the hobbit army has become a major annoyance-- Hobbits; Ring goes on, ring goes off. Ring goes on, ring comes off... Far: And Artoo is scrap metal. Artoo: B-b-bee--ee--eeep *SPARK FLASH* B-w-w-iii-iii-pp b-ll-ll-iii-p! Far: Oh, so it's MY fault, ey? Just for that, I'm not saving you from Obi-wan, you ungrateful overgrown toaster! Artoo: BLEEEEP! Far: Yeah, your mother was a blender! Artoo: BLEEEEEEEP! (zaps Far) Far: Okay, point taken. I'll shut up now and make Fig his get well card.
Maeg: So.... wanna play Monopoly? Freman: That is a foolish game! (Maeg gives him the Sad Puppy Face) Freman: oh, okay. But only if I can be the little top hat.
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Sept 6, 2004 13:54:09 GMT -5
Jandalf: Hey, Faramir...since there seems to be an absolute lack of Hallmark stores around here...(offers some paper, markers, and stickers) Go crazy.
Obi-Wan: (still hacking at Artoo's scattered pieces) DIE, YOU DROID SCUM!!! NO ONE ZAPS MASTER KENOBI AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!! I WILL SCATTER YOUR METAL TO THE FAR CORNERS OF THE GALAXY!!! NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO SO MUCH AS GUESS YOU WERE A DROID!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Jandalf: Um...Obi-Wan?
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Post by sblomietheinsane on Sept 6, 2004 14:57:57 GMT -5
So.... could someone explain to me just what is a co-author?
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Post by BEHIND YOU!!! on Sept 7, 2004 0:06:27 GMT -5
Co-author- random imaginary character who talks too much for their own good, and frequentally commandeers your posts.
Morgoth: I do not talk too much.
Shadow: You do too.
Morgoth: I DO NOT!!!!
Shadow: And they are annoying. But we love them just the same.
Back on topic!
**must make dictionary of Middle-earthian things**
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Sept 7, 2004 22:46:30 GMT -5
Yes, that is generally what a co-author is. Mainly, they're favorite characters stolen from movies, books, whatever. Especially Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Carribean, and the Matrix. But you can choose whoever you wish.
Obi-Wan: AS I WAS SAYING, NONE SHALL EVER REALISE YOU WERE ONCE A DROID!! (hack) YOU SHALL FOREVER REMAIN A MOLTEN LUMP OF DURASTEEL!!! (slash) NEVER WILL I--
Jandalf: You can stop now. He's vaporised.
Obi-Wan: Oh, okay. (puts away lightsaber and looks at dark little spot on the ground)
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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Sept 8, 2004 0:15:55 GMT -5
Maeg: Faramir, now that you and I have had our little talk, would you like to say something to the other members?
Far: No. Maeg: FARAMIR! Far: Fiiine... (in the 'Punished child tone') I'm very very sorry for trying to destroy you all and for leading Artoo to his demise... Artoo: (What's left of him) *sparks* Far: And I realize that I've been bad and wrong and naughty and evil and I promise to be a better boy from now on. I blame my evilness on my father, who never loved me. Thank you.
Maeg: Anything else? Far: yeah, I wanna show you my pretty card for Figwit! (Holds up a poorly drawn cartoon of a smiling Figwit in a body cast, holding flowers under a rainbow. It reads GIT WELLLL FIGWT!)
Maeg: Mr. Non-favorite Captain is too good for a dictionary, I see. Far: Everyone's a critic...
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