THE STORY SO FAR:
Once upon a time there were four friends. These friends always enjoyed eating french fries. If they ever saw Sauron, they would immediately scream, "HIS BEARD IS EATING FRENCH FRIES, TOO," giggle, and pass out in Whataburger's kitchen. Their fries were made of doom and other such rubbish. Suddenly Frodo jumped into the ketchup bottle. Now, he turned orange because ketchup isn't orange, but green food coloring is strange. This is very important because Saruman eats ketchup on his fries. Because of this, he realizes how improbable it is to die of orange ketchup dye. However, suddenly the floor caved in, and all were confused.
Suddenly a bright green dye spilled from a Matrix console, drowning Saruman in its ketchup-like glory and eating up other small objects. Then, a purple tiger jumped out from the bubbling wrath of Mount Wannahokalogie because Agent Smith was even more confused than a striped Agent Smith. To be quite exact, he lost his keys. A passerby who didn't really have a clue was quite taken aback by the bouncing lemons. Only one would know that bouncing lemons rarely ever have time for passersby. Lemons rarely even came close to believing in Santa Claus, who was a fat man. They instead rolled potato trucks in the muddy creek. Gollum ate the taters despite the dirt.
Then, when hope was lost, along came a red truck! Faramir saved the day and did a flip while eating a pineapple. His gums however, became over-sized pickled shrimp. The enemy took one look at Barney and screamed with all their arms waving in the air.
"Oh no!" they said. "We are going to implode!!" They ran straight into a jello blob, rendering themselves useless. After the coffee break, they decided to have jello in large quantities, which could only be detrimental to China's economy. In fact, China's detrimentality concerned Caffeinerush greatly, and all insane people worldwide. So, the Prime Minister gave order 66, freeing all the Munchkins from eating too much jello. But since they were already allergic to jello, they puffed up like sweet patatas, which made Travellin' Sam want more paprika.
"Hey Sam!" he exclaimed, eating just some but not all, since everyone knows you can't eat too much or the Salacious Crumb will say, "YEEEEHEEEHEEHEE!" rather insanely. Since Jabba wanted some more spice for his pet tarantula, he asked Han me Bukie to play Twister with him, and Han replied with a birthday cake which gave him freedom through Magical Bukie powers. But he realized bukie power only worked on Gondorian pig rats. Once this became known to Denethor, he told Elrond, who was shocked and amazed, yet incinerated. Celebrian might have saved him, but she likes incineration (go figure). For the rest of Bob's escapades, there really isn't a good car manual. This confused Bob, making him eat large quantities of jello. Bob laughed, then exploded in a heap of sugary glucose.
After the pink bunnies ate too many marshmallows, they took Alka Seltzer and went *fizz* loudly. No one knew why, but Bob found it in his radioactive hotdog. His hot dog made funny noises and everyone stared at it and said, "PIFFLE!! We don't have too much lime!"
Faust agreed and went all monologuey. The people squished their heads and exclaimed, "Zwip dee doooo!" This scares normal people, since they don't have what it takes to compute the meaning of Life, and everything else. Life is equal to 42, and this everyone knows. You have to take things with a jello-like stride. Why this was the rule, Bob did not know. But he ate jello to feel secure. Bob knew why every Sith liked to eat cake. It was because chocolate had a strange effect and makes pancreases evil. Then Sidious dropped by, just to give Vader a cookie.
"COOKIE, VADER!"
Vader morphed into a creampuff. He was now THE CREAMPUFF OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! He was also the founding member of CAS, or Creampuff Association of the Sith. Sidious cackled. Now his plans would be the puffiest of them all.
"I WILL SMITE THE REBELLION WITH MY PUFFY DOOM!" He cackled some more, and threw an Ewok
TM at the sushi vendor.
"Hey!" the sushi man screamed as he ran to the local 7-11 to buy a Slurpee. *MMMMmmmmm* he thought. How could anyone resist the temptation of a good kumquat? And so he proceeded to open the fridge and get his coveted jello special recipe. It had been in the dark corner for 152763 years, and was 152763 times the mass of an average donut. The sushi man was at Tim Horton's when he saw a giant chicken out the window.
"SQUACK!!!" the chicken menacingly peeped, and ate his left thigh. His next plan was to go to the nearby river and build a magnificent deliciously large bass. Yummy. Tina ate ham, and Napoleon mentioned, "Tina come get some left thigh!"
"MMmmm thigh" Tina squbarkmooed. Napoleon then took her to the local chicken Museum of America, where 152763 chickens were on the dance floor. If you were to ask a chicken why they danced disco style, they would laugh and drink chicinsky
TM, the preferred brand of Punk Whiskey. They would get quite drunk, and dance like Napoleon. Napolean was the chicken's choice of all chosen cr4zy d4ncers. And so Einstein suddenly dissolved into a small pink blob after partaking in jello frizbees to play tag with the improbable penguins. Suddenly the penguins took a leap off of George Lucas' head to the dance floor where a boxer danced on Barney's head. Since the lack of coherency imploded, no one has been eating Gollum clones for many years. However, that's just a matter of another story entirely. Since we really should focus, and get on track. Which has been done.
Then they saw a torrential flow of green ketchup from a nose 152766 times larger ((Jandalf: AHH! NO!! BUTCHERY OF MY NUMBER OF DOOOOM!!!)) than Jabba's ugly eyeballs. So a green Gandalf sat on a rather large Hutt (aren't they all?). He was contemplating what tender, juicy plant he should explode next. So that's all. Then, out of the green came a paradox that ate the selfsame plants together! Shadow ran in and out of the door, causing much confusion.
How much wood could a hobbit lord chuck into a Kelly Clarkson song? thought an unnamed hobbit. But then we named Bob the king of a small, Narnian toadstool! Bob is now pleased. The Narnians were appalled. The new, pleased, named Aslan had appeared into a Kelly Clarkson song. This didn't quite make any sense at all. The hobbit, who now was smelly beyond belief, didn't like the looks of the new dishtowel! This was all beside the last nightstand of DOOOOM which wasn't really a nightstand at all. When someone read Bob's mind, all the little people under the toadstool were suddenly squashed by a rather overgrown hobbit who didn't care for Vader.
"I am the mighty-of-late King Bob!" he howled without a bit of resent. How dare they defy his ice eater of DOOM! Why, it was so icy, it could ice them and we'd never know. After all, they'd be miffed; if one were to delete a penguin they would find themselves deleted to infinity and beyond!!! Never was there a more joyous fate than that which brought Jaden to life relived. Not only a new life, but a new outlook on life. Therefore, the people rejoiced. That's about all there is in the little book of Jaden's history. Because he was a very aristocratic penguin, he liked to fight other aristocratic sausages as a hobby. This bothered other people greatly, as no one knew why there was a 7-11 in the sushi man's restaurant. They were so disturbed, they were embossed 50%. Why this happened, I cannot tell you. 'Tis a freakishly disturbing turnip, and disturbed all greatly.
"Wow!" they screamed in horror. "That is a freakishly large sushi-mi!! WE'RE DOOMED!!!!!!!" They decided they had had enough with the sushi and jello. How Captain Planet ever managed to save the day is a secret unknown to the average person. However, Neo isn't actually the One, the ruler of all turnip-kind. All were confused for none had ever attempted to defeat Neo, King of the Matrix. Unfortunately for him, Anakin pulled his plug while taking over the turnips and watering his garden. So Padmé ran in and kissed Mace Windu then ran away.
"EEK!" the Jedi Master cried. "What has this place of cucumbers to do with kissing!?" Windu proceeded to flee the scene. Padme despaired, as she had never found love! In a fit of desperate coughing, she proceeded to fall off of the balcony on which Luke Skywalker resided. Yoda was naturally unsurprised when Frodo hit his head on the tabletop accidentally.
Padme was startled, saying, "What did you want to eat?"
Frodo blinked.
"Food!" cried Yoda, falling into a soup pot. Neo screamed and fainted because a purple torpedo had embedded itself into his nose. Therefore an elephant took lodging on Yoda's gimer stick to torment Padmé forevermore. The king of Carrots jumped up to greet Frodo with an unseemingly stupid grin plastered to his toenails because a purple admin had superglued it there with no intent of ever marrying Padmé.
"Why would you do something so absurd?" Neo inquired, getting shot with a stupidly tall blaster that Han had procured, and remarkably illegally, I might add. Because implosion was obviously about to destroy the castle where Yoda plucked large sheep, they suddenly all exploded in a brilliant shower of turnips which smelt like chickens and rather large striped Jedi Masters with Matrix lines on their tailbones.
A giant chicken managed to eat Neo before Yoda could stew him. Fortunately for Neo, this chicken had hiccups so he died painfully after Tiana kissed him. Jether took immediate offense and found himself incinerated by Celebrian. Tiana shot Yoda to take over a rather large soup pot because she needed her boyfriend to live. Unfortunately for her, she fell from a two-inch cliff and landed on a dead chicken that had pecked up all of Coruscant for second breakfast. She died, screaming about true love and running off to a nunnery.
Suddenly a carrot took control of THE Jedi Temple so all would love it and otherwise despair. Therefore everyone did, feeling much pain and loss of purple space cabbages for stews and weapons. Yet no one died because they threw hair elastics at Barad-dur until it ignited with much glamorous appeal and melodramatic sparkles.
"Again I win!!!" she exclaimed, cackling like a mad woman. Gollum ran in and kissed her affectionately. Padmé fainted from his horrid breath because obviously, it stank remarkably like fish. Rotten, stinky ICKY fishes. And crunchable. This was disgusting, and Frodo knew this, though he was unfortunately rather (literally) full of beans at that moment.
"EEK!" shrieked Mace, plugging his sinus passages to keep the expected gas from penetrating and causing much foul odor to overwhelm his nasal sensory system. It was too bad that it didn't work, causing the unnecessary demise of a respected Councilor and bringing about the end of the world as we once knew it to be. However, life goes on in Narnia, cold and creepy as it generally is. And in the time that passed, a Hobbit came and pushed Obi-Wan into a pile of rather insignificant oil paint where he soaked up color for about 222.33333333333333333333 nanoseconds before he jumped off a small cliff to hit Bilbo's relatively furry pink toes. At that moment, Arwen ran in and tripped over Obi-Wan because she was rather madly in love ((CELEBRIAN HAS 300 POSTS!!!)) with oil paints! Had she not eaten a sandwich, things would've been different; however, they weren't. The Matrix still persisted on existing, and doom had fallen upon Bilbo's head in the form of Obi-Wan.
"But I'm not doom," he protested as Arwen cleaned his toes and munched on the splattered paint that was everywhere at that moment where Elrond decided he had to fight Luke Skywalker on chance and rather odd whim. So Elrond ate a moldy sandwich, then attacked the paint with vengeful peanut butter, and after defeating the paint he went after the gumballs of Doooooom that were on top of Bilbo's humble hobbity home. Having erupted into a stream of molten chocolate, Elrond found himself trapped inside a rainbow box.
While Arwen decided to paint her daddy blue and Obi-Wan purple for a laugh, she said, "Doesn't anyone care about orange paint?" It doesn't matter at all, though, as she pondered the meaning of a strange reappearance. See, if you only try, you can see Santa! Elves are not very small or green, but they have a remarkable ability to dance while holding pots full ofmolten spaghetti sauce. Meanwhile, there was confusion among the little prairie dogs concerning the spelling of the little word prairie, which was frequently used. Playing with sporks is fun, but be careful. Don't poke yourself, doggy! Why anyone would say Viking Bob was gluttonous, when in fact he was gelatinous, was beyond mortal consumption for the average Twi'lek stockings. However, as Gimli preferred eating solid refrigeration fluid over purple striped panthers, Obi-Wan decided everyone should stuff glass cups into paper donuts and pick berries from a sink. Therefore, the Council decided he should clean many refreshers with a toothbrush because they smelled like roses. With everything lemony fresh, he left satisfied for the nearest truck stop, where Masklin was waiting at the Codfish ball door! Whenever things reach this degree of intensity, somebody usually gives up. Only, strong worms can smell green dye when it turns into an orange. Since the Oreos were stuck in a box, the oranges had to eat the gummy bears while twiddling their thumbs.
Sporks are the most pokey pokers that crawl over cereal boxes to meet their demise. The oranges like fried koopas, but Bowser doesn't really appreciate this kind of insolence; therefore he must sit on Mario and level up ^^. Mario found a singing lion in the Cave of Doom is not a nice party favour at all. Why anyone would want a blind duck is a question even the cow would dance at.
Mystified, Neo turned to the flying nun, for he must post-hike. Then, Sneeve told the nations: "Beware the nun, precious!" for Sneeve was afeared that flying nuns would sit on his precious.
You may ask, "What is your favorite color?" But no one will answer if you don't stay on-topic. Therefore, nuns must always try to stay on the ground. If they were to wave swords and flutter around like little trolls, then people would be almost instantaneously weirded out! This is bad for most people's digestion, so we sold them pills that took them from a big boxing dummy. While they were in the city they found twelve flying geese, two skateboarders, a cheesecake, and twenty purple lipsticks. Everyone likes randomly strange stories, unlike this work of Mark Twain or Shakespeare.
Now, all the pigs did not wish to fly in a globe of darkness. Therefore, they chose a Firebolt! This is very lighty-upy! Which is why flames tend to light purple bunnies on fire. Why, even orange Jedi found this incident to be of remarkable note when they were running away from a rather tall wizard. This wizard, named Tify-Wan, happened to be rather wise. She nodded and suddenly died because she had disturbed the plot continuum. Unfortunately for her, she was actually a hobbit, meaning that she could not reach the cookie jar on the highest of cupboards. Using Force choke, she choked the lid off. Unfortunately, it was still too high to reach. She sighed and then used force grab to accidently pull a bucket of slime on to Master Windu's wig, which made him crave toast. As the toast was being craved, Master Windu proceeded to run into the HUGE toaster of DOOM, accidentally toasting his wonderfully delightful bread.
"Oh, how convenient," he exclaimed, "that I would run into much doom." Upon this, he discovered another chocolate chip in his hand. So odd was this that Tify-Wan fainted. Mace knew he had no chance of doom and he sulked. The cookie jar shattered into 152763 pieces. Doom was immediately released upon the land, making it impossible to walk into grocery stores without being noticed. This, of course, meant he could no longer walk into security holos while carrying his teddy. This would, of course, make him look like a Sithly witch because the bear looked 3vil. The bear
was evil 'cuz it felt like ruling the universe of DOOM! It was very terrifying because the Sithly teddy was inconspicuous. This caused many conspiracies in the government, just as the Senate was decimated in 1 second flat.
Having a fit, Leia took out her lightsaber, beheaded Mace, and went off to find the cookie jar of TERROR ((!!!)) She travelled a long and crumby road of cookies, ((mmm)) only to find at the end waited pain and suffering. She ended up suffering for 1 minute, then ended up kavammed into a freezing hot volcano! She imploded from the paradox, thus proving volcanos can still bake cookies from their ovens. Well, that meant that Mace's teddy was fairly DOOMED, and as previously stated, evil, and everyone knew what evil teddies did... they had given limes!! Shocked, and slightly dismayed, the largish peach entered the limehole. Now, this seems a miracle as the peach was so largish, and limey. But, beyond all comprehension, it was simply sweet. The people were amazed because the peach wasn't encumbered by any appendages or snackfoods! So the people decided they would protest against the seemingly unfair way of the peach, and make toothbrushes instead of garden hoses. But since the toothbrushes couldn't come home with the cows, they were all doomed.
So, the people decided to light their pants on fire. This didn't please Elrond much, but nobody really cared anyway. Alas, the shiny thing of DOOM was too pink to bear. 152763 went through a wall. The sheer impossibility of 152763 wall-travelling was so utterly discombobulating, half of the agent smiths died! After ten minutes, Napolean Dynamite was torture.
"Indeed" said the ghost, "I live in PH34R of nasty pickleses, yes." The ghost went and greedily snatched up 152763 stormtroopers, and bob tried eating honey on top of Pooh's Hunnypot. When Tigger bounced around the crazy turkey and also ate its fro, he then choked and died of spezzomotamoniuanoramus, the deadliest -amus ever to be known to the dwarfs. Now, the dwarfs spelled Tigger's name wrong on paper, so it said "Tingersale" and Pooh was very repetitious. In fact, he had watched the karma faery strangle one or two of his dear cousins, so he couldn't really take that spelling very seriously. In just a moment or perhaps longer, we will discover the secret identity of Pooh's greatest ally, Mr. Whatsisface The Other Guy. This particular character was extraordinary on account of his nose and his excessively large buttermilk pancakes. They were very poisonous, but in a good place to be safe from being instantly eaten. Tigger was buried in 700 pounds of fluffy lemonade. Tigger was surprised that he got so spazzy, for this is not the work of rather bolded moos, obviously.
It was the work of evil sheep people. They tended to covertly kidnap young maidens who didn't work fast enough. Once a maiden was lollygagging in her studies, there was no hope. She was a goner... so she was taken by the wickedly malicious Keepers of Cookies. No one could do anything about it, so they sat down and started using proper English. Besides, there really is no point to not using a can-opener when it's not necessary but you could always dye it. All the singing elephants sang about the wonderful mouses! Ring in the ears was a delight to those who sat.
Everybody here is getting so fed up with the tigers that they noticed the # of this page was 42! THE couldn't believe that it was finally over.
THE END