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Post by vanillafairyofdoom on Nov 21, 2004 10:49:36 GMT -5
Here's a jokey: There's a huge flood in Washington DC, and you're a photographer for a newspaper. You're one of the few people on safe land, and suddenly, you see George Bush being swept past you by the rushing waters. You have the chance to save his life just by grabbing onto him and pulling him out of the water, or you can ignore him and capture this moment and sell it to a newspaper. You have to ask yourself one very important question... Do you use a colour film or go for the classic black and white? It's kinda anti-bush, but I thought it was kinda funny. I got sent it via email.
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Post by Hobbit-eyes on Nov 22, 2004 10:07:28 GMT -5
I am something people count on, But I'm not your fingers or toes. I am the comfort in your heart, When your mind's not sure it knows. People often call me blind, For I have no eyes to see. Several times I have been lost, But I cannot be given away. What am I?
Friendship, right? Or a friend? Along those warm fuzzy lines.
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Post by vanillafairyofdoom on Nov 22, 2004 13:17:07 GMT -5
I am something people count on, But I'm not your fingers or toes. I am the comfort in your heart, When your mind's not sure it knows. People often call me blind, For I have no eyes to see. Several times I have been lost, But I cannot be given away. What am I? Friendship, right? Or a friend? Along those warm fuzzy lines. I thought it was love too... Cos you know, love is blind, a lost love...
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 25, 2004 18:07:17 GMT -5
It's Faith. Or Trust. I forget what the exact answer was... *sheepish grin*
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Nov 25, 2004 21:01:22 GMT -5
...Let's go with faith, then?
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 25, 2004 23:56:10 GMT -5
Yeah, all right.
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Nov 26, 2004 21:46:24 GMT -5
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Nov 26, 2004 22:00:35 GMT -5
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 26, 2004 23:57:14 GMT -5
That joke is EVIL! Sigh... but funny... sigh... again.
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Post by Forca the returning on Nov 27, 2004 15:19:25 GMT -5
Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee! That's very funny, Jandalf! Here's one I heard...
It's a dark rainy night, and there's this guy driving in a car. His car crashes into a pole lying in the middle of the road, so he gets out and goes to knock on the door of a house nearby. A woman lives there who wears pink everything, and I mean EVERYTHING! Pink makeup, pink clothes, even her skin is pink. So this guy knocks on the door, and the pink woman answers. He says his car crashed and he need s to use the phone to call a towtruck. She tells him it's up the stairs and to the left.
Then, another car crashes into the one that crashed into the pole. This time it's a lady, and she knocks on the door of the pink woman's house. When the pink lady answers, she explains that her car has crashed and she needs to call a towtruck. The pink woman tell her it's up the stairs and to the left. The man comes back down and says that they can't come pick him up until tomorrow, so the pink woman gives him a room downstairs.
THEN, wouldn't you know it, another car crashes into the car that crashed into the car that crashed into the pole. THIS time it's an old man. He knocks on the door and explains that he needs to use the phone to call a towtruck. The pink woman tells him it's up the stairs and to the left. The lady comes down and says that the towtruck can't come pick her up until tomorrow, so the ponk woman gives her another room downstairs. THEN the old man comes down and says that the towtruck can't pick him up until tomorrow, so the pink woman gives him a room downstairs.
The next morning, the man and the lady get up to eat breakfast, and they have Cornflakes. But when the old man gets up for breakfast, he has Rice Chex.
The moral of this story is that two out of three people like Cornflakes.
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Nov 28, 2004 2:09:05 GMT -5
I read those two out loud to mom-- she was laughing. Snrk. All right, my revenge... I feel like picking on Canadians, anyway...
BTW, I am pathetic at telling jokes.
This is the story of how Canada received it's name.
You see, the three forefathers of our lovely country had got together and were discussing the fact that we didn't have a name. So, they discussed this for a long while as they day grew longer and longer.
Finally, they resorted to one last measure. "I'll write out all the letters of the alphabet, and put them in a hat. Then we can pull them out of the hat, and we'll get our name, eh?" forefather one said. The others were glad to agree.
So forefather 1 wrote out all 26 letters of the alphebet and put them in his straw hat and pulled out the first letter. He held it up triumphantly. "C, eh!" he said. Holding the letter up, he passed it over to the next forefather, who dug around for a while, and pulled out the next letter.
"N, eh," he said, holding it up for the world to see.
The last one reached in and pulled out one last letter. "D, eh."
***
If you didn't get it, you're not Canadian, or don't know how 'eh' is pronounced. It's a long A sound.
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Post by Cloud on Nov 29, 2004 17:26:10 GMT -5
Ha! Hahahaha! I get it! It took me a couple read-throughs, but i get it!
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Dec 7, 2004 23:16:47 GMT -5
Heh.
Two blonds were walking down a railroad track. After a few kilometers, the first one, out of breath, said, "These stairs are killing me."
The second one, as out of breath as the first, replied, "It's not the stairs, it's the low handrails."
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Post by BEHIND YOU!!! on Dec 12, 2004 1:14:09 GMT -5
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut &stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
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Post by Empress Adrienne Gollumeyessss on Jul 10, 2005 16:20:14 GMT -5
Heeheehee... I liked the railroad one best. *grins more*
Okay, for fun and to kill time the day before Spring Brake, my Geometry teacher issued a fun test. The questions on it amused me so I'm gonna post two of them and after someone takes a guess at them I'll go to the next two. (There're twenty in all.)
1.) Do they have 4th of July in England? 2.) How many birthdays does the average man have?
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Jul 12, 2005 16:48:52 GMT -5
(grins)
1. Yes. It comes right after the 3rd of July.
2. One. The rest of the days of the year aren't his birthday.
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Post by Empress Adrienne Gollumeyessss on Jul 16, 2005 15:54:26 GMT -5
*grins* Most excellent, Jandalf!
3.) Some months have 31 days, some have 30. How many have 28? 4.) In baseball, how many outs are in an inning?
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Post by BEHIND YOU!!! on Jul 16, 2005 16:45:11 GMT -5
3- All of them. Febuary only ends with 28.
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Post by Empress Adrienne Gollumeyessss on Oct 2, 2005 17:02:26 GMT -5
Yup. And for the baseball one: six, three for each teem.
5.) Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
6.) Forward I'm heavy, backward I'm not. What am I?
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Oct 4, 2005 19:55:58 GMT -5
5) 70
6) A ton.
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