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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Mar 28, 2005 16:43:00 GMT -5
Well, you know, it was inevitable.
To whoever may in the Past, Present, and perhaps the future, read this, this is my warning. (My shrink says I should always warn people before I start talking.) Whatever is said within these virtual pages is open to the public, but you can't say I didn't warn you if you choose (of your own will) to venture into my written mind. (Oooo.... I like that... written mind... *cough*)
This is my Introduction.
The rest is my Life.
Holy crap, I'm bored.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Apr 19, 2005 21:29:20 GMT -5
All right, I did it.
What, you ask? What I do every time I start a journal, of course.
What do you do, you ask? Forget that I started it and find it at least a year later.
So, here I stand, hoping to amend that fact. Today, I was told that I must write an episode for a Soap Opera. If you know me at all, you will know that that will be extrememly hard. Not the writing part, that I do just fine. The 'Soap' and 'Opera' part. Problem, this. And it's about Vegetables. And did I mention it's for Spanish class? A Spanish Vegetable Soap Opera. In two words -- Worst Nightmare.
So, I sit and try to write it, with the help of my friend. The plot is going all right, true Soap style. Eventually, in another friend's episode, all of my characters die, so I am free to ruin their lives before they expire as I choose. And boy do I....
I spent the rest of my afternoon with a cat. Yup, that's how my day went. School. Cat.
I lead a sad Life.
And, in conclusion..... "I'M JUST A POOR BOY, I NEED NO SYMPATHY....." *except for the fact I'm not a boy, but Queen's been stuck in my head all day* HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME AND LEAVE MY TO DIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on May 7, 2005 12:07:27 GMT -5
I was right. All of my characters are either squashed by refrigerators, blended, of stuffed into ketchup bottles. I'd cry... but it would really be pointless, and I don't want to make a scene.
Had a Lord of the Rings marathon last night, and I'm running on about two hours of sleep. 'Twas glorious. I should really go do the dishes for my mom, but I'm so lazy.... Maybe I'll do them later.
*watches Jack and Will fight for a couple of minutes* Which really isn't that interesting, because they do the same thing over and over again, but if you close one eye and look at it up-side-down, they look like they're dancing... *closes one eye and looks at it up-side-down*
Heh.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on May 21, 2005 16:19:27 GMT -5
I'm bored. Again.
So I decided to return to my tiny bit of cyberspace and leave another little bit of me behind. (I don't know if I like the sound of that...)
School is finished in *counts* six days, plus weekend. I have a job working all summer in the school copy shop, so that I can buy more Tad Williams books, and save up for my computer. And pay for camp. So I don't think I'll be getting many Tad Williams books for a while. So, even though school will be out, I'm going to be there at least three days a week anyway. Ironic, that.
This is a little random, but there's this kid on my brother's soccer team who's name is Caelon (pronounce Kellin). That is the coolest name in the history of, well, history.
I think that's all I have to say, because I need to sleep.
Oh, yes. One last thing. Don't watch Darkness Falls. It was utterly stupid...
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Jun 4, 2005 12:20:48 GMT -5
*sigh* School is finally over. It seemed like that last week would never end. I'm sort of sad, though. Two of my really good friends are leaving, one is only moving about three hours away, but the other is more like four states. I'm gonna miss them both a lot.
Anyway, Stevi's graduation is today, and our exchange student is graduating, so I have to go. Likewise, I'm missing one of my other friend's graduations, which is a bummer. His senior picture was really good. I really hate graduations... you sit there for an hour and a half listening to some old guy talk about 'commencement' and 'moving on' and 'being prepared for what life has to throw at you.' I swear, by the time a person finally graduates themselves, they have heard the speech at least seven times. I say we skip the whole thing.
Anyway, I have to go walk my dog, or she'll mess my bed. And I really don't want that... so, yeah. Peace out.
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Post by Master Warious on Jun 7, 2005 17:07:02 GMT -5
YAY! You're out of school! Enjoy your new found freedom.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Jul 2, 2005 15:14:34 GMT -5
Entry V
I hereby announce that I will be numbering all of my entries in this happy area of my existence with Roman Numerals. The following is the documentation of My Life At Work. Proceed with caution -- it isn't going to be pretty.
Firstly shall I state the place of my employment. I work at the Valley Christian School Copy Shoppe (note the stylish use of the double 'P'). My job description entails doing the jobs that no one else working that day wants to do. I, being only 16, and the youngest employee, and therefore get the smallest check. For doing the jobs that no one else wants to do. My life truly is a joy.
My place of work is situated in a room about the size of a small house, separated by two sets of shelves, in which are placed a myriad of paper, separated by style, thickness, and color. The cardstock is on the far left, then the plain colored stuff, then the specialty paper, such as felts, and sparkly cardstock. Each cubbyhole is labeled, in Arial 12 font, with words such as "Magna Carta Old Style 1200", and "Sky Blue Letterhead 20". God alone knows how many styles of Magna Carta there are, if the numbers reach 1200, or if the designer simply liked that particular number. But I know that we stock at least thirteen "Magna Carta" styles of paper.
A Copy Shoppe comes complete with its own vocabulary, which consists of words unknown to the common world, such as "ream" and "type-set" and "collate". I have yet to discover what collate actually means, but I believe it to have something to do with the copier eating all of the yellow cardstock every time you attempt to run it. When the Master of the Copy Shoppe speaks, it is wise to listen, even if you have no idea what in the heck she happens to be saying. You smile, and politely nod, then figure out whatever you were supposed to be doing yourself. If you ask the Master more than once, she will simply walk away, her large and cumbersome frame whacking up against various machines along the way. All of which you know you shall have to fix later.
-Concerning the Dialta-
There is a machine situated in the far left corner of the Shoppe, a copier, some would say, though far more. With the push of a few simple buttons, a piece of paper may be cut, stapled, three-hole punched, copied, and folded, all withing a few blinks of the eye. That is on a good day. On a bad day, the brute will laugh at your piece of simple yellow card-stock, and shred it, just out of spite. No matter how many times you kick it, plead with it, beg on your knees, or re-allign the master, the thing will simply laugh, at feast on more expensive yellow paper. When the repair man is called, the machine will smirk, and print the Preschool Duck without a moments pause. Just out of spite. When you must print a simple copy, on plain white paper back-to-back, it will force you to load each master at least sixteen times, and then refuse to print it correctly. Just out of spite.
In short, the thing is possessed.
Luckily, yesterday was my last day of work until August. The Machine will sleep until I return. And return I shall. With a sledgehammer...
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Jul 26, 2005 23:04:53 GMT -5
Entry.... IV
That was funny... I couldn't remember the correct numerals for 'six'. Heh... *is easily amused*
We're painting my house. Post-it note yellow. It's actually really pretty. Even if it is all over most of my clothes. Ah, well. Such is life.
I really don't have anything interesting to say, as I don't was to relate all of the interesting things that I did over the last three weeks at the moment. There's far too much. Maybe I will later... or maybe I wont, since this is my journal. Bwahahahahaha....
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Aug 3, 2005 17:26:38 GMT -5
Entry XII
Since I numeraled the last entry 'IV' four, I decided to put in random numbers. Invovles less thinking.
The following is the story of three weeks ago, as told my me to my computer screen. At least the screen thought it was interesting...
-Of VBS and Thermopolis-
I don't know if anyone on this site has ever been to mid-western Wyoming. If not, don't go. There are three main towns: Thermopolis (which isn't. It's a dirt hole in the road), Riverton (you guessed it.... no river.), and Casper. Home base for the ministry team is in Thermopolis, where you walk everywhere, no matter how hot it is. The nice people planted sprinklers along the road so that the idiots without cars don't die of heat exhaustion, and the idiots whose cars don't have air conditioning can roll their windows down as they drive by. A perfect system, apparently. Anyway, the town has one theater, a McDonalds, and a Pizza Hutt. It's also a famous Hot Springs, but swimming in the Hot Springs in 110 degree weather just wasn't appealing to us. Their book store has never seen a Tad Williams book, but the coffee they make is really good. And they have a checkers board for all of the dorks (like us) who actually play checkers. When you're walking down the sidewalk in Thermopolis, the people who drive by stare at you, even if they're turning into traffic. They don't get many new faces, so they have to see the show while they can, I guess.
The first night that we pulled into Thermopolis, most of us were whisked off again to work in VBSs in many of the smaller surrounding towns. It blows my mind that towns can get smaller than Thermop. Three of us (my group) went to Hudson, three to Shiell (pronounced 'shell'), and four or five to Riverton, which is only a little bigger than Thermop. Once we got to Hudson, the whole town got together and threw us a barbeque. Which would have been nice, but we'd all been riding in a cramped van for 12 hours, then a small car for another 1 and a half, and all we wanted to do was sleep. After our welcome-thing, we went to our homestays. The lone male in our trio went to a family with three super obnoxious children who live in one half of the Community Church (who don't like Baptists. All three of us are Baptist...), and my other friend and I were transported out to a ranch, where live two eccentric old people and their three long haired chiuahuas. Needless to say, neither of us slept that night...
VBS went all right, minus a fake bee sting, a really bad girl's trio (they sang nothing but the blood. Two of them could almost sing, but the third had only one note.), the puppet troupe from hell, and the Pastor's wife who is conviced that my LotR soundtracks are full of evil spirits... don't even get her started on Queen. *shudders* We were all very happy when the week was over, but it took a dreadfully long time. My friend was boyfriend-sick, even though he technically isn't yet her boyfriend. He might as well be. He joined us the next week for Camp Shiloh, but that's another story for never. Or later... I never know. Anyway, she called him every night from the chihuahua infested basement, so I had to listen to them talk (usually on my phone, because hers gets crappy reception) for hours, and the little deformed dogs from hell. We got hooked on Rockstar: INXS, because there was nothing else to do. *shameless cheering* GO MIG!!!! *cough* Yeah... we were sad.
I think I'm done for now.... I'm in pain from the memory of the hell-hounds... *shudders*
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Aug 6, 2005 16:04:27 GMT -5
Entry XBUU
Yes, I realize that, out of the four numerals used in the above, only one of them actually works. But this is my journal, so I can write my Roman Numerals however I want. So ha.
I've been staying at my Grandparent's house for the last week, which would be nice, but for all of the people in it. So far, I think there are usually at least 10 or 11 people in the house during any hour of the day or night. A few of our Canadian relatives are down for the Summer, so I'm rapidly picking up the accent again. I think it annoys my Great Aunt, but I really don't care. She doesn't like me, anyway. Mostly because I don't believe that she's always right, as she seems to...
One of the little kids staying in the basement bit me last night. I really don't understand why, which was why all I could do was stand there laughing while my brother detatching him from my arm. He really isn't even that little -- he's 11 years old, for crying out loud. I'm still laughing, it was so funny. Maybe because it made my brother -- 15 -- so angry.
So, while my baby brother is not detatching children from my left arm, he is showing off for my 14 year old cousins friends. Which, needless to say, is minorly sickening. Not that he isn't good at Pool, but he doesn't have to make such a show out of it. Though, while I watched this odd arrangement of he and three girls, I have to admit I laughed. A lot.
That's really all I have to say, because I'm only writing here because I'm bored. Yeah. Out.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Nov 19, 2005 22:07:22 GMT -5
Wow. My last entry was in the middle of July last summer... I am such a loser.
Entry XXIII
I figured that I'd better come and post in this little bit of code, because most of the thoughts in my head won't come out straight unless I put them into writing, and I don't want to leave any incriminating evidence lying around my house.
The last three weeks of school have been a nonstop barrage of tests. We've had two AP Biology tests, three British Literature tests, a History Essay test, and four Chemistry tests. And we had most of the last two weeks off of school, so that's about ten tests in approximately 13 and a half days. On top of the all tests, we have homework every night, and practically nothing in the way of free time, even on our days off. So, this is the background for the rest of my entry. I figured I'd better explain my actions before I went off, so that anyone who reads this will understand my lunatic ravings. Hopefully.
My family has decided these last few weeks to make my life a living hell. My parents have suddenly decided that.... well, I'm not exactly sure what, but they're everywhere. I don't know if they think I'm doing drugs or something of the sort, but I'm never alone. I love my family, honestly, but sometimes I just want to be somewhere quiet, without someone looking over my shoulder constantly. That might seem a trivial and somewhat jerkish thing to say, but when you have three essays to write, it's just plain too much.
My brother is never serious. Everything's a joke to him. He jokes about girls, about teachers, about our parents, about his friends, about my friends, and about everything else that I've missed, and sometimes it isn't the kind joking that I don't mind. For a while, we were really close, but this year he's got it out for my sanity. It might be that he's suddenly become friends with all of my friends, and so I'm drawing away from him because I don't want to be around him all the time. And I think I'm drawing away from him because I want him to have friends, and don't want him to feel awkward around people, like I do. The whole thing is rather confusing, and I'm tired of it.
I haven't talked to my best friend in three weeks, because she's always with her boyfriend. I love her boyfriend to death, but sometimes I just want to be with one of them. It's like they're joined at the hip, or somesuch.
These last couple of weeks have felt like I can't really do anything. My grades aren't what I desperately want them to be, and they don't seem to be getting any better. I can try and try, and work really hard, and I still pull C's in AP Biology. Stuff just isn't clicking this year. And, on top of all of that, many of my friends who are slacking way worse than I am have better grades than me.
And I'm depressed. I hate writing stuff like this, because it sounds so retarded. As far as communication goes, I think I'm seriously defective. People come to me and tell me about their problems constantly, and I can listen and say the right things. But when it comes to my problems, nothing comes out right. It's all bottled up inside, until I have to fight tears in Chemistry because someone else is depressed and they're telling me about it. Some days I just want to scream at people and tell them that I don't care how many times Danny talked to that girl and not to them. I'd like to tell them why I don't care, but I can't. Nothing comes out right.
And all of that was really pointless, because I feel even crappier than I did when I started. I'm pretty much a loser, and that's that.
Lessee.... something happy. Oh, yeah! Apparently I read Chaucer really well.... «smacks head on the wall» Yay me.
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Post by Joan Omnipresent on Nov 20, 2005 22:22:11 GMT -5
Wow...I'm so sorry... You should know, though, that what you are saying doesn't sound retarded! Not even close...you're one of the most clever, expressive writers that I know. Beyond that, I know just what you mean about listening to people's problems but not being able to express your own. Somehow, people just seek out the person that they know will have the right way of listening. I'm learning to think of it as a gift; it's definitely good for taking one's mind from one's own problems...
Anyway, that's a longish post to stick in your journal, but...we all love you, so that has to count for something, right? *lame*
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Nov 21, 2005 20:20:49 GMT -5
Heh. Right. Thanks, though. I was awful that day...
Entry I ((Look! I'm back to one!))
I don't have school for the rest of the week after tomorrow, so I have a whole lot of time to write. I rediscovered a story that I wrote last year that was pretty cool, so I've decided to add to it. 'Tis one of those good, angsty pieces that are so fun to write. Anyway, that's exciting.
My family has decided to embark on a sort of internet-store business thing, which is pretty much obnoxious because that means I'm the one that has to build the site. I know next to nothing about site building, but I'm the only one in the family who knows anything at all, so I get to be stuck with it. Worse comes to worse, I'll just make it white. I think we're going to be selling these... local chocolate people's stuff. Hopefully, if they agree... but, yeah, that should be fun.
I think that's the end of the pointless muck about my life that I stick in here... oh, yea! I learned some new song lyrics the other day. Pretty morbid, but really super funny when you sing them... goes
Suffocation, loss of respiration. Suffocation, this is how it goes. First you take a garden hose, then you stick it up your nose. Turn it on, then you're gone. Ha ha ha ha...
Suffocation, loss of respiration. Suffocation, this is how it goes. First you take a pillow case, then you tie it 'round your face. Go to be, then you're dead. Ha ha ha ha....
And there's more, but I don't remember the rest...
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Post by aa on Nov 22, 2005 4:07:03 GMT -5
Yeah, I know what kind you're talking about. I always write cool stories at three o'clock and then forget about them, but then discover them again when my mom goes on a messy room purge... *laughs* that's a funny song, where do you guys come up with these things?
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Mar 27, 2006 21:45:22 GMT -5
I just wrote a twelve paragraph, ultimately angsty post, and lost it. I suppose this is God's way of telling me that I need to stop pitying myself, and get on with my life.
I just feel like sitting in a corner and crying.
The End.
Good night, and good luck....
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Apr 13, 2006 15:19:43 GMT -5
Heh heh... *points* That was the night after spending fourteen hours trying to find my JS dress... which I still have to fix because if I bend over all the way, you can see down the front. *rolls eyes*
Entry LX
Easter break is happy. I don't have to go to school, I can sleep in, and it's sunny. How much better can it get? I suppose my parents could cut all the chores that I have to do before Sunday, but I'm having a happy enough day that I don't really care. Bring on the bathroom floors!!
Wait, what in the crap am I saying. Scrubbing floors sucks.
*cough*
Anyway, last week I took the ACT, so now all I've got to worry about is the SAT, which in June 3. That should be great fun. The ACT, minus the freaking massive amount of math, wasn't that hard. And the SAT is the test that I don't really have to worry about, because I'm good at the type of stuff that it tests on. Yay.
It's funny... when I'm happy, I can think of almost nothing to say... no wonder all of the world's greatest writers had problems with depression. It's just easier to write when you feel like you've been hit by a semi and the driver left you dying on the side of the road. When I'm happy, all I can write is gibberish. Like now... I feel randomly like yodeling......
AND I REALLY WANT TO LISTEN TO THE BEATLES!! BUT I CAN'T FIND THE STUPID CD!!!!!
Gah. 'Ze End, I suppose, before I have a hyzniac.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Sept 4, 2006 15:28:01 GMT -5
Never found that stupid CD. Think somebody stole it. *angst* And I should really find a definition for hyzniac. Everybody thinks I'm sneezing....
Entry VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.....
So, I really need to hit two pages on this stupid journal, since I've had it for something like two years, and it's still on page one... *smacks head*
Anyway, school is up and going again. At last, senior year has arrived. They tell you your freshman year that senior year is something to look forward to, and that it will be the best year of your life. Well, so far whatever person said that has turned out to be a complete idiot. Last year was definitely, definitely better than this.
Last year, I had my schedule worked out so that I had every class I needed, plus the actual fun ones.... and then this year hit, and they screwed up the whole freaking thing. So I have a million retarded classes that I don't need, and about two that I did, and none that are actually fun. Oy. Lessee... class schedule, class schedule....
First Period - Bible or Discipleship - Yeah, I go to a Christian school. I love it, and I actually have a good discipleship group this year, unlike last year with Mrs. Smith, the Vampire lady. So that's all right. But Senior Bible so far has consisted of Mr. Surratt talking about his girlfriend. *rolls eyes* TMI, definitely.
Second - Government, with Mr. Gnagey - Holy evil Art teacher Government teacher, Batman. Seriously, the man wears pink. Try discussing the National situation with a man in a pink dress shirt and pastel yellow tie. Impossiblé.
Third - Financial Math - Most pointless class ever. I don't need it, but there was nothing else in that whole stupid period. *sigh* Yech.
Fourth - AP Chemistry - God, I love this class. Love the teacher, love the subject. Don't like the eighty dollar test at the end. But it's awesomely hard stuff. Woo. One of the classes I actually wanted. And getting it totally screwed my chances of having band. Oh, well.
Lunch - Yep. Food.
Fifth - Music Theory - My only musical class. But it's like mathematics. Ewwwwwwwwwwww. Lots of ws. And weird people. Holy Hannah. When I'm the most normal person in there, you know you're screwed. Bleh.
Sixth - AP English, Lang, whatever - So freaking AWESOME!!! First English class I've ever momentarily felt stupid in. Boy, that's awesome. I love a challenge, when it doesn't involve math. Awesome.
Seventh - Algebra 2- So, I'm supposed to have Band during this period, but I have to have A2 to go to college. Sometimes, life has such a way of sucking. God has a freaking cruel sense of humor. Lots and lots of people in my class. None of them could take it anywhere else, either. Eh.
Eighth - Study Hall - With my freaking fifth grade teacher. And she still hates me. Oya. It's been seven years, and I still get dirty looks. Of course, I was a bad kid, but seriously!
The only major issue with my schedule is the apparent lack of band. This is a band tour year, and I can't go. And we were finally going to get a tour bus. I spent the week being immensely depressed, and haven't quite gotten over it yet. Oh, well. It was that or AP Chem, and I wanted that class more than band tour. So it's my choice.
Volleyball's started. Yay. First tournament was this weekend. Stats like you would not believe. And I had to teach the evil girl trying to steal my job how to do book, and do stats at the same time. Annoyingness major. And not only is she annoying, but she's stupid, too. And she planted herself in the Varsity group picture. So many words I could say that aren't really appropriate. I'm the Varsity manager, and she's not. That's all I have to say. No bimbo's stealing my hard earned spot... I'll kill her with my pencil....... hah.
I think that's it. Oh, yeah. My dad and I had a screaming match this morning. Stupid stuff, too. I think it's because one of my friends was talking about fighting with her parents, and I made the stupid choice of saying that I hadn't had a serious fight with them for a few months. Knock on wood....
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Sept 18, 2006 21:38:53 GMT -5
Actually, I think that fight saved my year, and my whole relationship with God... anyway....
Entry number 2. Forget the freaking Roman Numerals, I'm starting over. At 2.
School is school. I've decided that I dislike school, and all of the politics that go along with it. Like today, for example.
Every year, the Senior class sells ads. Ad Sales. Yes. Anyway, today was our first day, and all of our groups were perfect, and I got to drive around town all day, and I'm getting reimbursed for most of the gas. Yays. Plus, I don't have to go to school. Double yays. So, we're sitting around drinking our free coffee before heading out, and something bizaare happens. Two of my good friends (I mean, we've all been friends since like, third grade...) were grouped together. A few of the other pairs didn't have a driver, so the crazy teacher lady was asking who had two drivers in their group. Of course, there were about twelve groups who had two drivers, but none of us really wanted to split up... so we didn't say anything. Except my one friend... so they split up that group, and it worked out fine, but now there's this weird awkwardness, and none of us get it...
No idea what's going on.
And I wore heels, which is stupid. Stupid heels. I never wear heels. I don't even know why I own them.
They're pretty darn cute, though.
Finding colleges is stupid. I have two narrowed down, but that means I have to spend at least 100 dollars on applications. *smacks head* Don't they rob you enough? Gah.
But my mom and I are going to go shopping for my JS dress early this year, and visit colleges at the same time. I'm excited...
'kay, I think that's it.... yayness.
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Sept 25, 2006 21:03:04 GMT -5
Colleges.... ah....... the words.
I just talked to some lady... student.... person from PLU.... I hate not making people feel like they've wasted their time with calling me to talk about a school that doesn't really offer what I need, and then waste even more time trying to find the major that I'm looking for... bah. State schools are pretty much the only ones that have Classics as a major. And the only one that looks good (and has other science-type classes, for my backup) is the University of Oregon. And their mascot is a duck....
I don't really want to be a duck.
*sigh* I want to be a Junior, again. Senioritis has set in, major, and my classes don't really permit procrastination.... ah. I love AP Chemistry, though. I may have to change my major idea totally to Chem, and minor in Classics. It's so fun.... *sigh* But I'm not really that awful good at it... I just like it a whole freaking lot. Bah. College. College level chemistry is so hard... bah.
In essence, I have no idea what I'm doing. I even forgot to number this... whatever. Entry. I think it's four.... from where I started again.... three? Forget it....
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Post by Dûncariel is Dead. on Oct 10, 2006 21:16:04 GMT -5
All right. It was 3.
Entry number 4
When people that you don't really know, or really get along with can make you cry with an email apologizing for judging you, you know you've had a bloody long week. And it's only Tuesday...
So, last week was Senior Retreat. It was amazing... all work-your-butt-off fun wrapped up into a fuzzy ball of bonding. I love my class, but boy can they drive you crazy...
So, continuing from my first paragraph. We had this sort of share-everything-that-is-on-your-hear-about-everyone thing on the last night that we were there. Our class is pretty freaking big, for our school, so it took... lessee.... 10:30 to 1:30. Long night. But we were sharing, and I got this feeling that I needed to apologize for being a total jerk to a few people. A total one of them acknowledged me that particular night, so I was like "Okay, I did my part."
I checked my email tonight, and there was one from this other girl. So, this girl is... abrasive. She drives me practically up the wall, pretty much every single day. And it's not because... ah, I don't know why. She's just... one of those personalities that I really, really don't mesh well with. Anyway. I get this email, and I was like "Great, now what." Which is a totally bad attitude going into something, but such is life. I started to read it, and almost instantly got chills. It was... beautiful. Or something... there really aren't words. The stuff she said was almost the exact stuff that God's been telling me to do for the last couple of months, that I keep screwing up. Drop the mask and just live for God. I want people to see me as Christian, first, before I have to tell them. I don't want them to be shocked when I say that I go to Valley Christian School.
So, I cried, because I'm miserable with my life. I'm frustrated with school, with people, with hypocrisy, and trying to be nice to kids who are just plain idiotic. I want to be like Christ. It's just so..... hard. Hard because I let myself get frustrated with stuff like homework, and procrastination, and college. If I could take a deep breath and just do what I need to, I wouldn't freak like this.
But it's so hard.
On a lighter note, I think I've found my college. Thomas More College of Liberal Arts. Oh. My. Gosh. It couldn't be more perfect. Granted, it's a Catholic college, and I'm not Catholic... I don't have denomination. I follow the Bible and what God himself speaks to my heart. So I can get over the Catholic part. But it's incredible how perfect it is. Sophmores study in Rome. In Rome. And it's practically a Classics sanctuary. Most of the classes are dedicated to literature in some form, or classic languages. Wow. And they have Chemistry. Brilliant, I tell you.
Pray for me, that I can provide a well written essay, and get all my FAFSA stuff done, because the whole shabang is about 19,000 dollars, which is 19,000 dollars that I don't have.
And it's in New Hampshire. I live in Montana. If you don't know the difference, then I can't explain. New Hampshire is... a whole world away. And my diabetes make that incredibly difficult. Lots and lots of prayer... oy.
Done, now. Yay.
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