Post by Jandalf on Toast on Jul 3, 2006 0:32:39 GMT -5
THE OLD STORY:
There once was a girl named Shandalf and a rather large piece of cake was standing on a plasma display that had been on a frog's leg. How Gandalf ate three gallons of cheese no one knew, but what they did know was that he had lots of recipes for that sort of cake and he dearly loved cheese. Shandalf went around with the staff she had acquired and asked that the cake be disturbed not, by someone who would proceed into a deadly mental blockade.
Death by carrots was foreseen by every Bene Gesserit, and every man that was remotely related to a giant cheese-like cake ran and got some milk. Skim milk can be very poisonus so, they decided on whole.
Nearby, chocolate bars were being devoured by the darkside. The other side was terribly, horribly confused because looking around and wondering about the disappearance of chocolate bars was mostly superfluous. Therefore, it was strange no one noticed.
What they did notice was that a monkey named bob had found a cookie. This didn't concern anyone, except for the people that rode puffy sponges. They would ride all day on their sponges, with no care in the world. People would mock the sponge riders, for they were an odd sight. These people are very very much naughty. Bleh!
"Oops! I deleted my brain!" said bob. "Whatever will I do!" Then everyone pounced on Caffeinerush. He slowly withered away. He died. And then everyone missed him. Poor him, they thought. Meanwhile, bob buried his friend. The general public found this unnecessary, which is quite odd, since most people like chocolate.
In the depths of the darkish chocolate mines live strange beings, called Chocowockoloclates. Only, no one can find them since they are always busy eating chocolate, of course. Well, this is beside the point, since they had never been seen and thus they were a health hazard no longer. This is relieving to all involved. Whatever risk there once was is now only a distant squeak in the Force.
Obi-Wan taught Luke to peel a banana with telekinieses. Obi-Wan truly was a lover of chocolate! Oh, how he luved it. Spelling, however, has never been worse. bob knows from experience that Obi-Wan would have scolded his pet tarantula if there was a method of doing so. But alas, someone else had tried. There was honestly never a more terrible catastrophe. ((Joan reaches 1400 posts! W00t!))
Then a very huge chocolate bar melted, drowning all inhabatents of moria. Now, why the chocolate beast of DOOM came, no one will say. They might mention that very soon they will form a mob to unearth CR's remains, but they couldn't find the proper digging tools. Anyway, bob and CR had pretty much decided to leave, due to time.
A moment of silence had taken place and then Thorin screeched, "HOW WICKED OF YOU, GRISELDA!!!" He couldn't understand why Griselda would do such a good thing to her piece of chicken. She was very happy for the chicken's new dance and the fact that her feet smelled. After applying large amounts of makeup to her upper lip, she orchestrated a sweeping finale to her very large cake spoon.
Let's talk about cake.
Once upon a cakepan there lived a cakegnome. It was very popular among the cakegnomes to eat the noodles that sprouted from cakestone bottoms. The cakegnomes went and met some cheesegnome cousins carrying their cakepan upon a roadway of icing. Together, the relatives danced and cheered, "WE'RE NEVER GOING TO EAT THOSE PEAS AGAIN!!!" They ran down hills of chocolate-y albino Coke bottles while whistling a strange and dreary sort of whistle, which sounds much like Barney's manners song that goes, "Always take off your shoes and push!"
But they didn't want to get their socks into the bus, so they went and got pasties at a pub that were drinking some rather strong strawberry cordial and blue milk because that's what blue cows always had and she knew it was true. She went over to the store to buy some cups and found GANDALF waiting for her!! She met up with Griselda from page 7 and they went to get some skim milk. Which was very black because of being abducted?
"Who knows?" cried the gnomish milk bottles, after being stepped on by 152763 gnomish blowflies. Shandalf the Wraithly Wraith of D00M was still standing after Warious fired a gigantic cake-like missle at Tiana, who unfortunately got in the way of this said missle, found only in the realm of infinity, and beyond!
"Heh," said the strange pear-like apparatus hanging from the ceiling of terror. "Will you get me a huge bottle of Hershey's cocoa?" Wondering why she had done that, she ate Jandalf's number which was unknown to all but Jandalf, and all the lights went over the city of Minas Tirith, which was then brilliantly lighted. This was an anomalous phenomenon. Faramir washed his mouth out with soap, then looked in the dictionary to determine what he could say to make Arwen fall in love with his brother-in-law, who was named Archibald Speeks. The incongruity of such things were that they could seldom make anyone behave and act mature. Thankfully, the adverbs all disappeared in a light brunch. However, a dictionary thumped the glass jar and it tipped over. Alas! for the fairy came and took Jandalf to the birthday party where afore-mentioned Archibald was standing and laughing at a purple toad. Whenever it made a noise Jandalf would delete posts because they were froggy and orange colors. Thus pink toads began to take over the world to slowly eat birthdays for a general luncheon.
So, eating the purple faerie that was buzzing in tiny circles about a tiny jar of instant messager machines that were attempting to rule the universe on a whimsical need to eat giant popsicle sticks for the afore mentioned birthday party that was being thrown off a cliff. Throwing parties off of cliffs is never a good idea because it crushes gifs into unrecognizable toad-shaped lumps that smell like roses, of course. Obviously, this is a conspiracy by Google to search the web! MWAHAHAHAAAA!
"Eek," said Bob, and fainted dead away. So Arwen cooked him for second breakfast with eggs and ham. Ham is good with purple seasoning and fried up in icing sugar and glowstix. Unfortunately, it's also poisonous and makes one vomit and glow rather orange. It was very cool that Tiana and Celebrian had to go out and get pizza because there were too many poisonous hams lying around. There are many singing Oprah-resembling-hams lying on a small table that tend to munch on spiders that are already dead and they are doom doom doom!
Jandalf went on her off-white horse, and fell over a cat. The cat screeched and bit the poor wizard on the ankle, where the toad bit his poor little toe. Meanwhile, back at the large steak, there were insects that were dancing in the apple pie. The rules of an apple pie dance are quite complicated; only the bravest may even attempt something so complicated. Eventually... one insect dies, and the rest laugh at the hopping fried bacon. Never, ever, ever, ever, saw a purple cow with pink polka dots. Such strange occurrences are frequent on MEI, after Darth Vader pulled out an aquamarine cow from his pocket of mystery... Therefore, having eaten Jandalf, he took a new source of nutrition out of the library. She munched on a purple lightsaber, giving her an extreme case of heartburn, so she killed a purple space cow and ate it instead. After eating braaaaaaaaaaaaaains for lunch, Tiana thought she would turn rather greenish and hibernate for at least ten bazillion centuries in Middle-earth with her boyfriend who happened to be eating a garlic pizza and some slippers. The angora rabbit bawled, turning to silver glass which suddenly shattered because a rather fated Jedi was found eating purple space RABBITS for brunch.
"I have a bow," shrieked Celebrian, brandishing it, "And I will play Grandma and Grandpa!" Saying this, she began to play beautiful music that startled even herself. She fainted, breaking her fiddle, and she screamed and began wailing an elvish lament. And as if by magic her fiddle reassembled itself! She shouted with glee, and proceeded to fall over the rock that ate braaaaaaaaaaaaains and fiddles. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... ," she screamed and proceeded to fling herself onto Shadowfax who somehow appeared in lieu of the flet that was about to burst into a blinding but glorious flash of fire! "Buuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnn!!!" Celebrian started playing so that many orcs were screeching in agony because she hit high F-ish-G-ish-A-ish!
"Yes! Success again," she wrote in the dust. "I have been gone so long that bob decimated my purple cow into a fine dust! That's just wrong!" She turned away in grief, her face covered with dead leaves and cocoa...
"I'm alone, and ugly," screeched the mockingbird. But someone was watching! The giant arch-angel, interestingly enough a very large toad, came and gave his boot a chew and spit out an elephant. "Fi fy fo fum!" he bellowed as a hard boiled egg stomped around and sang a mindless ditty about twelve silly Mirkwood elves who jumped into a pool. All of this, however, is completely irrelevant. When the earth was destroyed by various dye colors, people became depressed and searched for secret hideouts in moldy space cheese and then were hibernating the great ice cakes of D00M. Everyone was quite disappointed in the taste and began to riot uncontrollably at the complexity of English grammar.
"We won't take any nouns from you, mister. We have cookies!" they said and ate them. What a thing to eat because they were soooo hungry! Every bit tasted like chocolate pudding and chocolate milk which made the cookies soggy. "Oh dear," they cried, and ran to find a golden brick of gold and to demolish the cakes of infernal Yachts of D00M! Yes, these people were crazy, most definitely not right in the head, but are funly insane!!!1 "Heh," replied the Jaberwok, who burgled through the tum and went into the Taj Mahal, gurgling happily. The minions stood outside and looked for somewhere that had coconut pie! The Jaberwok was not at all amused by the prospect of pie, and thought it rather dreadful to have a cake instead of the strange, bouncing cookies. Who found the Bean was not important now. Oh yes it is an improper sentence! Look, all the censors are tearing what sanity I jumped up and down on giant banana peels. Then, a peach came by and inquired why I had a big Purpleish on my face.
"What is a purplish?" the little minions asked, waving their saucepans. "We will squash the people for their stupidity and the lack of oranges!" Anakin killed them all, annoyed by their oranges. But the one ring was magical and saved 94.35345858588588585858% of the population. The small fraction that lived yet deserved death in return for the lightsaber of doom's crystals that were very important. Anakin blasted Obi's ship into a billion pieces because Obi ate his lemon muffins! "For sooth!"
"Oh, crap!," said StrongBad.
"What?" cried the One. The One looked at StrongBad. "What on Earth do you mean by that?" He was most confused. StrongBad's The Cheat Master of Silver Clouds. Luke's X-wing dived into two and then went their separate two-some ways. They eventually met up on nintendoene blasting away into space and then beyond to blu star.
They came into contact with the spiffy large fluff and began eating Fluffy Puff Marshmallow Nibblin's! He was very happy that the fluff did not kill him there. He had to go to the washroom, so that someone could resuscitate the dancing man with the barney outfit and he died. "Too bad, that Barney outfit wasn't," he said, crying a little bit and sniffling garlic. He died too. Then a mouse went to bed and sang a happy tune about Ents, orcs and cabbages. The tune was carried; throughout the BOC's lasers the sparks did spring far and wide to reach the eyes of the storm and throw the Polar Express DVD into the water and Smeagol picked it up. Smeagol then took it to Mordor and threw it in his hands. Behold the Special Edition! And watched it repeatedly over and over, which led to dizzy brains. Then goo began to ooze from his ears and then went into sudden shock, because of the sudden lightning strike which destroyed the great answer to Life, the universe and everything.
For Bob to know chess, he had to wait before his mail order could be packaged. Therefore his Thai salad wilted because of intense heat, and all the lemurs who were bouncing around decided they didn't want purple tomatoes speckled with old blue cheese. So Jello rained down from heaven above, causing great determination amongst the people. The answer is blowing sand in one's face to make a glass hedgehog with which we love to eat. Thus it will be crushed between large yellow molars. But large, fluffy marshmallows are sweet and sugary, thus lulling us into a never-ending disco of suger-high hypnosis. When grizzly bears jumped off high trampolines, little gnomes sounding like Yoda hopped on and played "popcorn".
After such insanity the gremlins came and they killed all the gnomes and danced around merrily. Obviously, Fred Penner came to kill the bear with the clown nose. Luckily, the bear got away without a scratch; however, the gremlins weren't too happy about the impending doom brought on by the purple socks. The socks smelled of doom™, and tasted like chicken, but what doesn't?
"Nerf doesn't," commented the bear, who hadn't quite forgotten the... memorable experience of the scarred childhood from which he came, and thus did he fall over on the ground, gasping and moaning. Then I smashedhimwithahammer! and took the bear to an asylum for curing his obsessions WITHAHAMMER but the shrink said "Stop combining words, s illies!" She was wise and had seven green toes with athlete's foot growing all over them. She loves shelf fungi so she started a collection to cook and eat. And she died horribly of poisonous fungi which she had collected for the Super Bowl party.
Puppy chow was brought in honor of the massive dog named Chewie. Where Han Solo was doddling in the little ship, which has trouble chewing watermelon rinds and watching PotC In French which is a hard habit to develop. But it was made possible by your local Co-op. Thou sweet, local Co-op helped the hairy beast read Italian while watching Hero in original Chinese with Huttese subtitles. So he could learn why "ÄãºÃ" meant "hello". No offense to the Hutts because they loved cheese. But the cheese killed all the cats that like to eat dachshunds were fried up for helllllllllllllllllllpppppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeee orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will DIE!!!" HAHAHA!! Therefore I'm not a Shruberry that can dance the Moxie-Rain-ah therefore I shall not sing of peanuts. But when you drop a hat onto the cupboard, you shall see the great and massive explosions which cause unfortunate purple rabbits to eat all nearby cats which might very well cause explosions in a rather large planet which smelt of woe.
Unfortunately, singing of peanuts caused Frodo to faint because of no air. So the rabbit-eating dog munched on rabbits with Jandalf on the side. "Ew!!" Jandalf tasted horrible. Proving the dog didn't want to be a lemur! Getting a sig, Jandalf was resurrected and took over the universe because she wanted to. All were afraid of the purple space cow which sang very loudly. Everyone plugged their ears and ran away quickly to save their sanity. It didn't work. They were incinerated! HA HA!!!!!!!!! Everyone died. The end.
Erk... there was nothing.
LOTS of nothingness, yes.
And then... Yoda appeared! And there was something! There was no longer nothing. Yoda, therefore, went and made a something. Was it babies? No... It was a song! Yoda made beautiful music... Everyone was in awe until someone shot Yoda! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Everyone was dismayed. Then they got shot. Everyone died yet again. So the orange boom-whacker.
"Grrr. No!!" Celebrian cried.
"Whaaaaat?" Tiana was amused.
"ANYTHING BUT THAT TORMENT!!"
Tiana sighed, and played violin. Celebrian died, horrified.
Tiana growled. "You're mean." But Celebrian was dead... MEI went into mourning. Celebrian stayed very dead. Jandalf was randomly shot!!!!
"NOT HER!!" Celebrian wailed.
"YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!11" (glomps mommy)
(glomped) "Auugghhhh... can't... breathe..."
"Sorry." Tiana let go. Celebrian breathed in relief. Tiana sighed, and plotted. These are short sentences. Yes, that they are. Celebrian glomped Elrond happily. Elrond died from asphyxiation.
"NOOOOO!!" Celebrian was distressed.
"Yesssss!" Tiana was happy.
Celebrian smacked Tiana. Hard.
"OWWWW!!" Tiana then died.
"Oops..." Celebrian alivingdarted Tiana. Thus Tiana returned! HAHAHAH!!!!!
"Eeek." Celebrian hid under a small pebble which looked like Elrond... heheh. Noooo... it WAS Elrond! Celebrian hugged Elrond happily. This time, he didn't die. All were happy. So, Yoda ate a boston creme pie, because Tiana and Celebrian are Great creme-pie makers that could make creme shake in great ph34r. If only they would I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEE, now you don't understand my grammar. And shall all Live by the power of Wrigley's Juicy Fruit? It is not that it really does much for a cold, however, it does wet your whistle when you talk to a tiger in the Amazon Rainforest. If you want to free fall through multiple layers of an inert liquid via a lock and key, you should make sure to wear a lifejacket! Also, make you have to bring a lightsaber. For many big insects fly in the face of our sigs and make them look like they were made by Orlando Bloom. Then Orlando should be stoned and so should That weird kid with the glasses... what's his name? Peeves: Potty Wee Rotter.'s actor otherwise known as Daniel Radcliffe. Whom I think is slightly out of character all the time. He bothers me and Double Bingo! Double Bingo! Oops, oops, oops, oops, and so back on to the random page where Michael Jackson sings like a deranged desrabit.
So Wallace and Gromit went to Mars to do a tiki dance while frolicking with Michael in a bamboo suit. It was rather stiff because it was moss-filled and therefore it was large enough for the Gargantuan size nose of the slightly ill feeling spork who was eating Arwen's makeup! Then, honeys went to the store and kicked a car. That was the beginning of the end of all things artificial in the gardening sphere of DOOM. Once that was done and over with, Hitler decided to bomb African European American blimps and dance around the last Empire on Earth. But a hero shall press on to the sword of the orange shellfish, and while we do not want anyone to bother with pointless dead ends and carrots, we would like someone call the Watch! After all, they do like to eat Jandalf for elevenses with biscuits. A tasty delicacy, indeed. Even without mustard, the Braaaaains aren't that bad. But do remember to floss between your death. No one likes a exceedingly weird story with continual incidences of horrible Echo's Giant Yuffie Fetish!
The terror swept across the kids' Monopoly board. But since capital letters are so very overrated, Jandalf went rampaging through fields of bacon stalks to have an intimate knowledge of their yumminess. Then she picked up the Purple People-eater and ate some purple people. The ensuing riot was immensely chaotic, which pleased the Sith as they pillaged the defenseless homes of the helpless platypi. Cluge and Yuffie got made into sushi by the local turnip grower.
THE END...
And now to start a new one.
Late in the afternoon,
There once was a girl named Shandalf and a rather large piece of cake was standing on a plasma display that had been on a frog's leg. How Gandalf ate three gallons of cheese no one knew, but what they did know was that he had lots of recipes for that sort of cake and he dearly loved cheese. Shandalf went around with the staff she had acquired and asked that the cake be disturbed not, by someone who would proceed into a deadly mental blockade.
Death by carrots was foreseen by every Bene Gesserit, and every man that was remotely related to a giant cheese-like cake ran and got some milk. Skim milk can be very poisonus so, they decided on whole.
Nearby, chocolate bars were being devoured by the darkside. The other side was terribly, horribly confused because looking around and wondering about the disappearance of chocolate bars was mostly superfluous. Therefore, it was strange no one noticed.
What they did notice was that a monkey named bob had found a cookie. This didn't concern anyone, except for the people that rode puffy sponges. They would ride all day on their sponges, with no care in the world. People would mock the sponge riders, for they were an odd sight. These people are very very much naughty. Bleh!
"Oops! I deleted my brain!" said bob. "Whatever will I do!" Then everyone pounced on Caffeinerush. He slowly withered away. He died. And then everyone missed him. Poor him, they thought. Meanwhile, bob buried his friend. The general public found this unnecessary, which is quite odd, since most people like chocolate.
In the depths of the darkish chocolate mines live strange beings, called Chocowockoloclates. Only, no one can find them since they are always busy eating chocolate, of course. Well, this is beside the point, since they had never been seen and thus they were a health hazard no longer. This is relieving to all involved. Whatever risk there once was is now only a distant squeak in the Force.
Obi-Wan taught Luke to peel a banana with telekinieses. Obi-Wan truly was a lover of chocolate! Oh, how he luved it. Spelling, however, has never been worse. bob knows from experience that Obi-Wan would have scolded his pet tarantula if there was a method of doing so. But alas, someone else had tried. There was honestly never a more terrible catastrophe. ((Joan reaches 1400 posts! W00t!))
Then a very huge chocolate bar melted, drowning all inhabatents of moria. Now, why the chocolate beast of DOOM came, no one will say. They might mention that very soon they will form a mob to unearth CR's remains, but they couldn't find the proper digging tools. Anyway, bob and CR had pretty much decided to leave, due to time.
A moment of silence had taken place and then Thorin screeched, "HOW WICKED OF YOU, GRISELDA!!!" He couldn't understand why Griselda would do such a good thing to her piece of chicken. She was very happy for the chicken's new dance and the fact that her feet smelled. After applying large amounts of makeup to her upper lip, she orchestrated a sweeping finale to her very large cake spoon.
Let's talk about cake.
Once upon a cakepan there lived a cakegnome. It was very popular among the cakegnomes to eat the noodles that sprouted from cakestone bottoms. The cakegnomes went and met some cheesegnome cousins carrying their cakepan upon a roadway of icing. Together, the relatives danced and cheered, "WE'RE NEVER GOING TO EAT THOSE PEAS AGAIN!!!" They ran down hills of chocolate-y albino Coke bottles while whistling a strange and dreary sort of whistle, which sounds much like Barney's manners song that goes, "Always take off your shoes and push!"
But they didn't want to get their socks into the bus, so they went and got pasties at a pub that were drinking some rather strong strawberry cordial and blue milk because that's what blue cows always had and she knew it was true. She went over to the store to buy some cups and found GANDALF waiting for her!! She met up with Griselda from page 7 and they went to get some skim milk. Which was very black because of being abducted?
"Who knows?" cried the gnomish milk bottles, after being stepped on by 152763 gnomish blowflies. Shandalf the Wraithly Wraith of D00M was still standing after Warious fired a gigantic cake-like missle at Tiana, who unfortunately got in the way of this said missle, found only in the realm of infinity, and beyond!
"Heh," said the strange pear-like apparatus hanging from the ceiling of terror. "Will you get me a huge bottle of Hershey's cocoa?" Wondering why she had done that, she ate Jandalf's number which was unknown to all but Jandalf, and all the lights went over the city of Minas Tirith, which was then brilliantly lighted. This was an anomalous phenomenon. Faramir washed his mouth out with soap, then looked in the dictionary to determine what he could say to make Arwen fall in love with his brother-in-law, who was named Archibald Speeks. The incongruity of such things were that they could seldom make anyone behave and act mature. Thankfully, the adverbs all disappeared in a light brunch. However, a dictionary thumped the glass jar and it tipped over. Alas! for the fairy came and took Jandalf to the birthday party where afore-mentioned Archibald was standing and laughing at a purple toad. Whenever it made a noise Jandalf would delete posts because they were froggy and orange colors. Thus pink toads began to take over the world to slowly eat birthdays for a general luncheon.
So, eating the purple faerie that was buzzing in tiny circles about a tiny jar of instant messager machines that were attempting to rule the universe on a whimsical need to eat giant popsicle sticks for the afore mentioned birthday party that was being thrown off a cliff. Throwing parties off of cliffs is never a good idea because it crushes gifs into unrecognizable toad-shaped lumps that smell like roses, of course. Obviously, this is a conspiracy by Google to search the web! MWAHAHAHAAAA!
"Eek," said Bob, and fainted dead away. So Arwen cooked him for second breakfast with eggs and ham. Ham is good with purple seasoning and fried up in icing sugar and glowstix. Unfortunately, it's also poisonous and makes one vomit and glow rather orange. It was very cool that Tiana and Celebrian had to go out and get pizza because there were too many poisonous hams lying around. There are many singing Oprah-resembling-hams lying on a small table that tend to munch on spiders that are already dead and they are doom doom doom!
Jandalf went on her off-white horse, and fell over a cat. The cat screeched and bit the poor wizard on the ankle, where the toad bit his poor little toe. Meanwhile, back at the large steak, there were insects that were dancing in the apple pie. The rules of an apple pie dance are quite complicated; only the bravest may even attempt something so complicated. Eventually... one insect dies, and the rest laugh at the hopping fried bacon. Never, ever, ever, ever, saw a purple cow with pink polka dots. Such strange occurrences are frequent on MEI, after Darth Vader pulled out an aquamarine cow from his pocket of mystery... Therefore, having eaten Jandalf, he took a new source of nutrition out of the library. She munched on a purple lightsaber, giving her an extreme case of heartburn, so she killed a purple space cow and ate it instead. After eating braaaaaaaaaaaaaains for lunch, Tiana thought she would turn rather greenish and hibernate for at least ten bazillion centuries in Middle-earth with her boyfriend who happened to be eating a garlic pizza and some slippers. The angora rabbit bawled, turning to silver glass which suddenly shattered because a rather fated Jedi was found eating purple space RABBITS for brunch.
"I have a bow," shrieked Celebrian, brandishing it, "And I will play Grandma and Grandpa!" Saying this, she began to play beautiful music that startled even herself. She fainted, breaking her fiddle, and she screamed and began wailing an elvish lament. And as if by magic her fiddle reassembled itself! She shouted with glee, and proceeded to fall over the rock that ate braaaaaaaaaaaaains and fiddles. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... ," she screamed and proceeded to fling herself onto Shadowfax who somehow appeared in lieu of the flet that was about to burst into a blinding but glorious flash of fire! "Buuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnn!!!" Celebrian started playing so that many orcs were screeching in agony because she hit high F-ish-G-ish-A-ish!
"Yes! Success again," she wrote in the dust. "I have been gone so long that bob decimated my purple cow into a fine dust! That's just wrong!" She turned away in grief, her face covered with dead leaves and cocoa...
"I'm alone, and ugly," screeched the mockingbird. But someone was watching! The giant arch-angel, interestingly enough a very large toad, came and gave his boot a chew and spit out an elephant. "Fi fy fo fum!" he bellowed as a hard boiled egg stomped around and sang a mindless ditty about twelve silly Mirkwood elves who jumped into a pool. All of this, however, is completely irrelevant. When the earth was destroyed by various dye colors, people became depressed and searched for secret hideouts in moldy space cheese and then were hibernating the great ice cakes of D00M. Everyone was quite disappointed in the taste and began to riot uncontrollably at the complexity of English grammar.
"We won't take any nouns from you, mister. We have cookies!" they said and ate them. What a thing to eat because they were soooo hungry! Every bit tasted like chocolate pudding and chocolate milk which made the cookies soggy. "Oh dear," they cried, and ran to find a golden brick of gold and to demolish the cakes of infernal Yachts of D00M! Yes, these people were crazy, most definitely not right in the head, but are funly insane!!!1 "Heh," replied the Jaberwok, who burgled through the tum and went into the Taj Mahal, gurgling happily. The minions stood outside and looked for somewhere that had coconut pie! The Jaberwok was not at all amused by the prospect of pie, and thought it rather dreadful to have a cake instead of the strange, bouncing cookies. Who found the Bean was not important now. Oh yes it is an improper sentence! Look, all the censors are tearing what sanity I jumped up and down on giant banana peels. Then, a peach came by and inquired why I had a big Purpleish on my face.
"What is a purplish?" the little minions asked, waving their saucepans. "We will squash the people for their stupidity and the lack of oranges!" Anakin killed them all, annoyed by their oranges. But the one ring was magical and saved 94.35345858588588585858% of the population. The small fraction that lived yet deserved death in return for the lightsaber of doom's crystals that were very important. Anakin blasted Obi's ship into a billion pieces because Obi ate his lemon muffins! "For sooth!"
"Oh, crap!," said StrongBad.
"What?" cried the One. The One looked at StrongBad. "What on Earth do you mean by that?" He was most confused. StrongBad's The Cheat Master of Silver Clouds. Luke's X-wing dived into two and then went their separate two-some ways. They eventually met up on nintendoene blasting away into space and then beyond to blu star.
They came into contact with the spiffy large fluff and began eating Fluffy Puff Marshmallow Nibblin's! He was very happy that the fluff did not kill him there. He had to go to the washroom, so that someone could resuscitate the dancing man with the barney outfit and he died. "Too bad, that Barney outfit wasn't," he said, crying a little bit and sniffling garlic. He died too. Then a mouse went to bed and sang a happy tune about Ents, orcs and cabbages. The tune was carried; throughout the BOC's lasers the sparks did spring far and wide to reach the eyes of the storm and throw the Polar Express DVD into the water and Smeagol picked it up. Smeagol then took it to Mordor and threw it in his hands. Behold the Special Edition! And watched it repeatedly over and over, which led to dizzy brains. Then goo began to ooze from his ears and then went into sudden shock, because of the sudden lightning strike which destroyed the great answer to Life, the universe and everything.
For Bob to know chess, he had to wait before his mail order could be packaged. Therefore his Thai salad wilted because of intense heat, and all the lemurs who were bouncing around decided they didn't want purple tomatoes speckled with old blue cheese. So Jello rained down from heaven above, causing great determination amongst the people. The answer is blowing sand in one's face to make a glass hedgehog with which we love to eat. Thus it will be crushed between large yellow molars. But large, fluffy marshmallows are sweet and sugary, thus lulling us into a never-ending disco of suger-high hypnosis. When grizzly bears jumped off high trampolines, little gnomes sounding like Yoda hopped on and played "popcorn".
After such insanity the gremlins came and they killed all the gnomes and danced around merrily. Obviously, Fred Penner came to kill the bear with the clown nose. Luckily, the bear got away without a scratch; however, the gremlins weren't too happy about the impending doom brought on by the purple socks. The socks smelled of doom™, and tasted like chicken, but what doesn't?
"Nerf doesn't," commented the bear, who hadn't quite forgotten the... memorable experience of the scarred childhood from which he came, and thus did he fall over on the ground, gasping and moaning. Then I smashedhimwithahammer! and took the bear to an asylum for curing his obsessions WITHAHAMMER but the shrink said "Stop combining words, s illies!" She was wise and had seven green toes with athlete's foot growing all over them. She loves shelf fungi so she started a collection to cook and eat. And she died horribly of poisonous fungi which she had collected for the Super Bowl party.
Puppy chow was brought in honor of the massive dog named Chewie. Where Han Solo was doddling in the little ship, which has trouble chewing watermelon rinds and watching PotC In French which is a hard habit to develop. But it was made possible by your local Co-op. Thou sweet, local Co-op helped the hairy beast read Italian while watching Hero in original Chinese with Huttese subtitles. So he could learn why "ÄãºÃ" meant "hello". No offense to the Hutts because they loved cheese. But the cheese killed all the cats that like to eat dachshunds were fried up for helllllllllllllllllllpppppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeee orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will DIE!!!" HAHAHA!! Therefore I'm not a Shruberry that can dance the Moxie-Rain-ah therefore I shall not sing of peanuts. But when you drop a hat onto the cupboard, you shall see the great and massive explosions which cause unfortunate purple rabbits to eat all nearby cats which might very well cause explosions in a rather large planet which smelt of woe.
Unfortunately, singing of peanuts caused Frodo to faint because of no air. So the rabbit-eating dog munched on rabbits with Jandalf on the side. "Ew!!" Jandalf tasted horrible. Proving the dog didn't want to be a lemur! Getting a sig, Jandalf was resurrected and took over the universe because she wanted to. All were afraid of the purple space cow which sang very loudly. Everyone plugged their ears and ran away quickly to save their sanity. It didn't work. They were incinerated! HA HA!!!!!!!!! Everyone died. The end.
Erk... there was nothing.
LOTS of nothingness, yes.
And then... Yoda appeared! And there was something! There was no longer nothing. Yoda, therefore, went and made a something. Was it babies? No... It was a song! Yoda made beautiful music... Everyone was in awe until someone shot Yoda! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Everyone was dismayed. Then they got shot. Everyone died yet again. So the orange boom-whacker.
"Grrr. No!!" Celebrian cried.
"Whaaaaat?" Tiana was amused.
"ANYTHING BUT THAT TORMENT!!"
Tiana sighed, and played violin. Celebrian died, horrified.
Tiana growled. "You're mean." But Celebrian was dead... MEI went into mourning. Celebrian stayed very dead. Jandalf was randomly shot!!!!
"NOT HER!!" Celebrian wailed.
"YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!11" (glomps mommy)
(glomped) "Auugghhhh... can't... breathe..."
"Sorry." Tiana let go. Celebrian breathed in relief. Tiana sighed, and plotted. These are short sentences. Yes, that they are. Celebrian glomped Elrond happily. Elrond died from asphyxiation.
"NOOOOO!!" Celebrian was distressed.
"Yesssss!" Tiana was happy.
Celebrian smacked Tiana. Hard.
"OWWWW!!" Tiana then died.
"Oops..." Celebrian alivingdarted Tiana. Thus Tiana returned! HAHAHAH!!!!!
"Eeek." Celebrian hid under a small pebble which looked like Elrond... heheh. Noooo... it WAS Elrond! Celebrian hugged Elrond happily. This time, he didn't die. All were happy. So, Yoda ate a boston creme pie, because Tiana and Celebrian are Great creme-pie makers that could make creme shake in great ph34r. If only they would I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEE, now you don't understand my grammar. And shall all Live by the power of Wrigley's Juicy Fruit? It is not that it really does much for a cold, however, it does wet your whistle when you talk to a tiger in the Amazon Rainforest. If you want to free fall through multiple layers of an inert liquid via a lock and key, you should make sure to wear a lifejacket! Also, make you have to bring a lightsaber. For many big insects fly in the face of our sigs and make them look like they were made by Orlando Bloom. Then Orlando should be stoned and so should That weird kid with the glasses... what's his name? Peeves: Potty Wee Rotter.'s actor otherwise known as Daniel Radcliffe. Whom I think is slightly out of character all the time. He bothers me and Double Bingo! Double Bingo! Oops, oops, oops, oops, and so back on to the random page where Michael Jackson sings like a deranged desrabit.
So Wallace and Gromit went to Mars to do a tiki dance while frolicking with Michael in a bamboo suit. It was rather stiff because it was moss-filled and therefore it was large enough for the Gargantuan size nose of the slightly ill feeling spork who was eating Arwen's makeup! Then, honeys went to the store and kicked a car. That was the beginning of the end of all things artificial in the gardening sphere of DOOM. Once that was done and over with, Hitler decided to bomb African European American blimps and dance around the last Empire on Earth. But a hero shall press on to the sword of the orange shellfish, and while we do not want anyone to bother with pointless dead ends and carrots, we would like someone call the Watch! After all, they do like to eat Jandalf for elevenses with biscuits. A tasty delicacy, indeed. Even without mustard, the Braaaaains aren't that bad. But do remember to floss between your death. No one likes a exceedingly weird story with continual incidences of horrible Echo's Giant Yuffie Fetish!
The terror swept across the kids' Monopoly board. But since capital letters are so very overrated, Jandalf went rampaging through fields of bacon stalks to have an intimate knowledge of their yumminess. Then she picked up the Purple People-eater and ate some purple people. The ensuing riot was immensely chaotic, which pleased the Sith as they pillaged the defenseless homes of the helpless platypi. Cluge and Yuffie got made into sushi by the local turnip grower.
THE END...
And now to start a new one.
Late in the afternoon,