Pirates of the Carrabean: The New Hope

[Tiana, eh?]

First try at writing Pirates of the Caribbean
Well, here goes nothing.

Place reviews here

Pirates of the Caribbean and of the Galaxy: The Curse of the Golden Ring of Power and the Lightsaber of Doom regarding the Daughter of Jack Sparrow and Jaina Solo.
Ah, heck, that’s too long of a title.
Pirates everywhere, prepare to meet your match.
The Adventures of Captains Jill Sparrow and Ahana Solo.

Jill: Hey, my name’s first!
Ahana: So? I’m last, but certainly not least!
Jill: Can we hurry this up? I need to go raid Commander Norrington’s ship.
Ahana: Is this even important?
Jill: Where’s the disclaimer?
Disclaimer: All right, all right already. I don’t own PotC or Star Wars. But you only need to have watched PotC to understand most of this. However, I do own Jill Sparrow and Ahana Solo.
Ahana: Sure you do.
Jill: I’m a pirate, no one owns ME! Let me tell you something, I take orders from one person only, ME!
Ahana: THAT’S MY LINE!
Jill: So? You can’t boss me around. I’m Captain Jill Sparrow, savvy.
Ahana: I have a bad feeling about this. Were you at the Green Dragon?
Jill: Well... now that’s interesting...
Ahana: You were so.
Jill: Was I now, poppet?
Ahana: Oi. Can we please get on with the story. Otherwise I’ll tell everyone how it ends.
Jill: We haven’t even started the story. And I think you forgot Lord of the Rings in the disclaimer. And the story still hasn’t started,
Ahana: SO? I’ll still tell them how it ends.
Jill: Oh YAH?!
Ahana: I WILL!
<Fade voices out into sea of stars>
Ahana: Hey, you can’t get rid of me that easily.
Jill: I’m Captain... Jill... Sparrow...
<Fade out completely>

Prologue part One...
Once upon a time... in a galaxy far, far away...
<Jill: Cool! It’s my part!>
<Ahana: I don’t think so>
<Author: Shut up, or I’ll go back to writing Lord of the Rings fanfiction!>
<Jill: What, this isn’t Lord of the Rings?>
<Author: Where’s my medal pole?>
<Ahana: I think this is Star Wars and Pirates of the Caribbean fiction, Jill.>
<Author: Maybe I will put Lord of the Rings in... later.>
<Jill: Well, what about the cursed gold ring? Isn’t that Lord of the Rings?>
<Ahana: Now who’s delaying the story?>
<Author: THIS IS MY STORY HERE!!!>
<Jill: Wrong story.>
<Author: Hey, I can’t help that I like the Candies of Doom. Can I finish this?>
...There was a Republic. Now, to learn about them, watch Star Wars. This story isn’t about the New or Old Republic... yet.
<Ahana: Sure. Yet.>
The Galaxy was in turmoil... the Vong were attacking.
But later on, they were defeated and the galaxies hero, Jaina Solo, went on to have a child. The child was not as gifted as her others... she could not touch the Force... or so they thought. The child, Ahana Solo, took after her grandfather, and turned to the underground life, to smuggling.
But things were not as easily to be had as they were in the days of the Empire, and she found herself on the run... many times over... until, at last, she made it to supposed safety on the restored planet: Corascuant.
History became legend... legend became myth...
<Jill and Ahana: I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT THIS WASN’T LORD OF THE RINGS FANFICTION!!!!!!!!!!!!>
<Author: Oh?>
<Jill and Ahana: THAT WAS LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!!>
<Ahana and Jill: DON’T SAY EVERYTHING THAT I SAY!>
<Jill and Ahana: YOU’RE COPYING ME!!!!>
<Ahana and Jill: STOP IT!!!!!!!!!>
<Author: Medal pole, someone? It’s a conspiracy?>
<Jill: Excuse me while I kill this author.>
<Author: I’m the author, remember.>
<Jill: And I’m Captain Jill Sparrow, savvy.>
And for two and a half thousand years the ring slipped out of all knowledge... But that’s not the point here. I think the point is that I’m going to have to add another disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Lord of the Rings either. However, you only need to know PotC to read this story, so never mind.
<Ahana: What, I’m unimportant?>
<Jill: Yes.>
<Ahana: Why did I guess that you’d say that?>
Now... the One Ring is not the only ring of power out there... In the Land of... hmm... err... it wasn’t Mordor... what was it now...
<Jill: The Random Island of Hmmerr?>
<Ahana: It was Yavin. The Planet Yavin.>
<Jill: No, not this time. It was the Island of Nowhere Important, savvy.>
Okay, in the Random Island of Nowhere Important, in the Fires of...
<Jill: Volcano>
<Author: I know that it was a volcano.>
<Ahana: Are you sure it wasn’t Yavin?>
...in the Fires of Random Volcano of Doom, the cursed Piratish, Sithish Dark Lord Sauron the Second forged in secret a ring to rival that of his fathers.
<Jill: He had a son?!>
<Ahana: Hey, Vader was Luke’s father, why not Sauron someone’s father?>
<Jill: He was a flaming eye, remember.>
<Author: I never said... wait, I did say. Never mind.>
One Cursed Aztex gold ring to rule them all. But, of course, there was only one of these cursed Aztex gold rings out there, so there was no one else to fall under the shadow, so he abandoned the idea of an evil ring of power that he could take over the Island of Nowhere Important with, so he threw it into the sea, and went to the gas planet Yavin.
There he foraged the Lightsaber of Doom.
<Ahana: And I had to become a bounty hunter and try to hunt it down. Blah.>
<Jill: I hate that thing.>
Now, this Lightsaber of Doom, was, well, Doomed. So, of course, Sauron the second was doomed too... but he was already cursed so it made little difference. The lightsaber was annoyed that he couldn’t curse Sauron the Second more, so he abandoned Sauron the Second.
<Jill: I don’t like that part.>
<Author: Will you shut up already? You’ll ruin the plot.>
<Ahana: You are writing with a plot?!>
<Author: Oi.>
History became legend again... legend became myth again... and this time the Lightsaber of Doom found a new bearer... he hooked up with <Theme music> DUN DUN DUN!!!!!... Oh, right... he hooked up with... Do I really want to say?
<Jill: Get it over with.>
Boba Fett. And then he sold it to the highest bidder on E-Bay! And that was... <Pauses for dramatic effect...>
<Dramatic effect: Please NO! I DON’T LIKE DOING THIS!!!!!!!!>
<Thousand years later...>
<Dramatic effect: <Has died from old age...>>
<Author: You’re NOT SUPPOSE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!<Hits effect with medal pole until it gets up>>
<Dramatic effect: Will you say it already?>
Commander Norrington! There, I said it!
<Jill: This is the longest prologue I’ve ever sat through.>
Captain Jack Sparrow... however...
<Jill and Ahana: FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! WILL YOU EVER FINISH!???????>
<Jill: Well, Ahana?>
<Ahana: Let’s.>
<Author: Umm... HHHHEEELLLLLPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>
<Jill: I’m a pirate, savvy.>
<Ahana: Ducttape, the fixit for all times.>
<Author: Mpphhhfff MMMMPPPFFF HHMMM FFFRRRRR!!!!!>
<Jill: Ready?>
<Ahana: Am I ever!>
<Jill: You must remember that the previous author is incapable of writing normal, and we are not her. So the following will be as normal as we can make it, from the fact that we lived it.>
<Ahana: However, it will be third person because of the amount of people involved. So sorry.>
<Jill: I hope you understand it... Oh, and the previous author-- Éowyn Skywalker-- well, she shouldn’t suffer from more than ducttape burns, we hope.>
<Ahana: Hope.>
<Jill: Exactly. Now, I hope this won’t be too annoying, that we write differently than Éowyn S.. This will be proper formating from henceforth, and not too to random, hopefully.>
<Ahana: There really is an island called Nowhere Important.>
<Jill: Why are we doing this?>
<Ahana: What the heck, let’s just tell the tale.>
<Jill: This will be from the beginning... at the start of the tale...>
<Ahana: The time before time...>
<Jill: In a galaxy far, far away...>#nosmileys

[Tiana, eh?]

<<<Pirates of the Caribbean: The Hope of the Future>>>
Prologue...
Heck, why not Chapter One.
Chapter One: The Daughter of Jack Sparrow

Captian Jack Sparrow fought against Commander Norrington’s men. He fought one handed, as in one hand he held a tubular object, made to fit comfortably in ones palm.
“All this trouble for a little gizmo,” he said to himself, as he was slowly driven back, back to the wall.
“Stupid pirate,” said one of the men, as Jack...
<Jill: That’s Captain Jack.>
<Ahana: Well, then you type.>
...As Captain Jack Sparrow parried his thrust, twisting the sword from that man’s hand, and it fell into the seas.
“Well, now that’s not very nice,” he replied, jumping up onto a ledge. “Remember this day,” he said, “as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.”<br> Jack...
<Ahana: I thought that was Captain Jack.>
<Jill: Easier to type.>
<Ahana: Hm.>
<(^^)>
...jumped up a level, and turned to make his escape... when he found himself face to face with a revolver.
“Oh no,” said the gunman. “You remember this day, Sparrow, as the day that we finally caught Captain Jack Sparrow.”<br> There was no escape; they had him walled in... as usual.
The man was disarming Jack when...
...A rock flew down, and hit the gunman on the side of the head. He fell, unconscious, dropping his gun as he fell.
Jack flipped his cutlass back into his hands, and faced Norrington’s men.
A black figure dropped down from the rock ledge. “Father?” she asked.
Jack tossed his sword and the silver tube thing to her. “Jill? What are you doing here? I told you to stay back.”<br> She caught the sword, and Jack now held the two guns: his own, and the unconscious gunman’s. The girl, revealed as Jill wore clothes of like to Jack’s, but darker. She also wore a dark cloak and hood, shadowing over her face, which had features of like to her father, if it had been light enough to see.
She took a defense position easily.
Commander Norrington stepped into the faint moonlight which lit the area, giving his face a haunted look.
“Surrender, Captain Sparrow. You cannot hold us off forever,” he said. “I do not appreciate having things stolen from my ships.”<br> “What can I say?” said Jack. “I’m a pirate, I steal things, savvy. And I’m sure that my daughter could hold you off quite well.”<br> Norringtor laughed. “A daughter? That was the person sneaking around after you then. Like father like daughter. You have got to be the worst pirate out there, a daughter yet. A daughter!”<br> “But you have heard of me,” he said, raising one finger, “and that has to count for something. Plus, you did not hear of her for these fourteen years either.”<br> “A daughter yet.” Norrington looked at him, half-smiling. “A son now, then maybe I would’ve worried. But a daughter...”<br> Jill looked at him; set her face, and slashed out with her blade, cutting off Commander Norrington’s left hand. “You underestimate me,” she said. “Like father, like daughter, remember?”<br> Suddenly there was a strange flash of light, and Jill’s face was illuminated in blue light. “What you forget is that I am the daughter of Captain Jack Sparrow.”<br> Jack shot at Norrington, hitting him dead on in the chest. But... instead of dying, he merely began to laugh crazily. Blue light flashed again, and Norrington stepped out of the moonlight... turning translucent... a glowing figure that one could see though. “You have no power over me, Jill Sparrow.”<br> Blue lightning crackled about his fingertips, causing an aura of evil, and Jill stepped back, shock in her eyes.
Norrington thrust his hand forwards, covering Jack with lightning. He fell, not moving.
“Father!” Jill cried, running to his side. He still had a pulse, faint, but still there. “You killed my father!” she said, as his pulse grew faint, and fluttered out.
“Oh no, Jill Sparrow, he is very much alive, but nothing you do can save him,” Norrington answered. “Nothing can bring him back. He is my prisoner now. As you will soon be too!”<br> He thrust his hands forwards at Jill too, and lightning covered her...
...doing nothing.
She stepped back, confused, unscathed. It was as if a shield had surrounded her momentarily.
“She has the Lightsaber!” Norrington shouted. “Get her!!!!!”<br> Jill was very confused. Lightsaber? she thought. What lightsaber?
But she had no time to wonder, as the men began to respond, to catch her. She reacted swiftly, throwing her downed father one last glance as as jumped off the cliff wall, and landing in the sand below.
Through sheer luck, she made it though without a single shot hitting her, and back to the ship docked in a makeshift harbor along the beach.
As the ship sailed away from the shores-- with her as captain now, as her mother had died years before, and none of the other men knew enough about sailing... in fact, there were only two men that had made it alive back-- Jill swore: “I will not let my father die in the hands of Commander Norrington. If by life or death I can save him, I will.”

[Tiana, eh?]

Ahana Solo stood on the bridge of her ship, The Twilight Star, and watched the stars go by as she sped into hyperspace.
“I will not go back to the life of a pirate,” she said quietly. “I am going back home.”<br> “Will your family wecome you?” asked the young man who stood behind her, he looked faintly like Will Turner, but yet not. His name was Jaan’en Darksaber, but that is irrelevant. Well, actually, it’s not, but still...
<Jill: You want me to write this?
<Ahana: You can’t, not this part.
<Jill: I know who you are now.
<Ahana: Well, of course you do.>
“I do not know,” answered Ahana. “But I know one thing, I will not remain a pirate forever. That life is not for me any longer.”<br> Suddenly a Sith Lady fell out of the roof, and chased Haldir around the ship, screaming about conspiracies in Ewok.
<Jill: Was that important?
<Ahana: No.
<Jill: Sigh.
<Ahana: Fine.>
Then something went kavaam, and the random Sith disappeared in a flash of orange light.
Ahana and Jaan’en stared at the puff of orange light, and went back to their conversation after the light disappeared.
<Jill: That had nothing to do with this story.
<Ahana: Wanna bet...?
<Jill: Gambler.
<Ahana: I’m a pirate, savvy?
<Jill: Sigh. Savvy, I can beat you fairly any day.
<Ahana: All the more reason that I shouldn’t play fair. Now let me write, or I’ll tell Luke that you’re the one who has his lightsaber now.
<Jill: You wouldn’t dare.
<Ahana: Would I?>
“Captain Ahana, you can’t just leave off being a smuggler,” said Jaan’en.
“I can, and will,” replied Ahana. “I am no pirate.”<br> “But you were.”<br> “I know. That’s why I am leaving.”<br><Ahana: Can I please write a flashback????
<Jill: No.
<Ahana: Sigh.>
“My grandfather could’ve been killed being a pirate,” said Ahana. “I do not wish to meet his fate. Life is different for me now, and when I was caught stealing that lightsaber...”<br><Jill: You mean that Éowyn LIED?!
<Ahana: Well, no... not exactly...
<At the same time, Éowyn Skywalker was suffering from the wrath of Luke Skywalker who wants his lightsaber back. She, however dosn’t have it anymore, and was ducttaped to a chair. (And I am going to spell that as one word because I’m stubborn.) So therefore, she was suffering. And Ahana still had the ducttape.>
Jaan’en sighed, looked out the window. “Then you must do as you feel is best.”<br> “That’s the point. I don’t feel what’s best,” replied Ahana. “I am no Jedi either.”<br> A hologram lit up on the screen on the wall that we never mentioned before, but was there so I will mention it now. It was also attatched with ducttape, or as the Star Wars people know it... wait, I forget what they called it. Space Tape, or something. It’s ducttape in my opinion though.
Ahana glared at the holo. It was a now well known smuggler, at least among those who were smugglers or pirates themselves. He was also her old boss, and had been looking for her to return for a month now. He was a bounty hunter, known as Boba II, the second bounty hunter to be that good. Some thought that he was a clone.
“Boba,” she acknowledged. “What is it that you want now? I’ve left the business.”<br> “You have to return.” The hologram looked strangely clear, and she could see that he was frustrated at her.
“I’m not going to.”<br> Jaan’en looked at her, but didn’t say anything.
“You will return,” said Boba.
“No, I won’t,” she answered.
“Then life is about to become a lot more challenging for you, Ahana Solo,” he hissed, suddenly very angry.
She looked at him and shrugged. “Try me, I’ve managed.”<br> “You push your luck, Solo.”<br> “I am not returning, no matter how much you threaten me,” said Ahana, looking at him sharply. “You cannot harm me.”<br> “We will see about that.”<br> Boba signed off instantly, and disappeared. Then she realized why the hologram was so clear, as a laser shot hit her ship, and it rocked around sharply.
The two inhabitants were thrown against the wall.
“I guess that was what he meant,” said Jaan’en stiffly, standing up, to get knocked down again.
Ahana pulled herself up, trying to get to the shields, so that she could activate the shields, and get to the guns.
The ship tossed again, and Boba gloated through the speakers, having not signed off, sadly. “You see, Ahana, it’s not wise to cross me, or make me mad.”<br> “Nor me,” answered Ahana, taking a last bet, and firing her lasers at him haphazardly, for she couldn’t aim while barely holding on.
He shot at her again, and in the silence that insued while the two shot dissipated, Jaan’en managed to get the shields running at full power.
But it was too late, and a last shot hit the ship, tearing into the hull.
Instead of filling the ship with vacuum though, a strange orange light...
<Jill: Ahh.
<Ahana: Shhh.
<Jill: Okay, now I get it.>
...filled the ship.
“GO EV, JAAN’EN,” shouted Ahana, waving her hands in front of her face trying to see.
“Are you here, Ahana?” asked Jaan’en, grabbing a roll of ducttape for no reason at all, probably because he couldn’t see anything at all, for that matter, none of them could see, because the dang orange light was too darn bright.
<Jill: Poetic, aren’t you?
<Ahana: I thought so.
<Jill: For that matter, what’s EV?
<Ahana: Extra Vehicular.
<Jill: Ahh.>

[Tiana, eh?]

And then the light vanished. A darkness suddenly entered the area, and the orange light vanished, though the y still couldn’t see, because the orange light had partly blinded them.
Then there was a sound that sounded faintly like kavaam, and they tumbled down... down... down...
Ahana watched in horror as her ship vanished, though I really have no clue how she watched, being that she was just blinded anyhow.
<Jill: ?
<Ahana: Yah.>
Then they finished falling, and landed on the floor.
<Jill: Well, that was obvious.
<Ahana: You be more creative.
<Jill: Then I will.>
They fell, down, and landing on the ground in another place, in another world. They were in some building that they didn’t recognize, or at least would not’ve if they would’ve been able to see.
They were in Commander Norrington’s place thingy that he had build because he was so darn full of himself.
<Ahana: I’m writing again.
<Jill: Fine.>
Ahana fumbled with her lightsaber, being that that was the only thing that she could think of at the moment. And before you all ask how she got a lightsaber when she wasn’t a Jedi, it was on the she had made when she was bored, and it took her three weeks to finish, so she wasn’t going to get rid of it, because it took her forever to make!
She also had a sword for some odd reason, because she hadn’t had it before, and her Blaster had disappeared, seemingly.
“Jaan’en?” she called.
“Ahana?” asked Jaan’en, feeling over to her.
Their vision cleared up, and they noticed the one thing that we had mentioned earlier. They were on another world!
“I have a bad feeling about this,” said Ahana.
“I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto,” said Jaan’en.
“Right,” replied Dorothy.
<Jill: Ha ha.
<Ahana: Sorry.>
“Right,” replied Ahana, staring at Dorothy, who isn’t suppose to be here, and had better leave or else.......... ÉOWYN SKYWALKER!!!!
“Who’s Éowyn Skywalker?” asked Jaan’en.
“Yes,” added Ahana.
I am talking to myself now?!
<Jill: I think Éowyn escaped again.
<Ahana: She hasn’t before. But I noticed, she is playing with MY story.
<Eowyn: What? Ii started the story.
<Jill: I’m Captain Jill Sparrow, savvy.
<Eowyn: Do me a favor, and please no more ducttape!!!!!!!!!
<Ahana: If that’s the case... (pulls out THE random medal pole...)
<Eowyn: Oh no... no, no, no, no, no, NO! YOU are NOT thinking THAT!
<Ahana: How much are you willing to bet...?
<Eowyn: You are NOT going to use MY pole!
<Jill: I’m a pirate, savvy? Where did you put the rum?
<Eowyn: Ha ha. Very funny. Can’t you hear me laughing.
<Ahana: I challenge you to a duel.
<Eowyn: Your funeral.
<Jill: I’ll fight her, Ahana.
<Ahana: No, I can beat her.
<Eowyn: In a fair fight, I’d kill you.
<Jill and Ahana: I think you know the answer to that one, savvy.
<Eowyn: I really don’t want to fight you. (pulls out another medal pole... this time THE metal pole... notice the difference?)
<Jill: And while they fight, I’ll take the storyline up...>
Then the last part disappeared. Dorothy disappeared, along with Toto, who didn’t belong here anyhow.
Now, back to the story.
“I have a bad feeling about this,” said Ahana.
“Right,” said Jaan’en. “Where are we?”<br> “Not in Kansas,” replied Ahana.
<Jill: *rolls eyes*
<Eowyn: Uh-oh..........
<Luke: Heh heh...
<Ahana: I wanted to kill her myself.
<Eowyn: IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!
<Jill: Just tie her up for now.
<Luke: Awwwww...
<Eowyn: I don’t know whether to relax or be frightened...>
“I have no clue,” answered Ahana.
Jaan’en looked around at the area, and heard someone coming because he had elf-ears.
<Jill: ÉOWYN SKYWALKER!!!
<Ahana: That wasn’t her, it’s part of the story.
<Jill: Okay.
<Ahana: Well, not really, but still...>
They jumped off the road, while Ahana shouted: “GET OFF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!”<br> Then Frodo appeared, and killed them for stealing his line.
But, because Frodo can’t be in this story, he was attacked by Mary-Sue, and all turned to silver glass.
<Ahana: You’ve been listening to Into the West one too many times.
<Jill: Hmmmm... ideas...
<Ahana: No thinking, just write.>
They dove off the floor, and landed on the floor, becauce, logically, there was no other place to dive to. So they all fell out a window that wasn’t there, and hit the wall because there was a wall there.
But, sadly, Jaan’en didn’t have elf-ears, and no one was coming, so the fact that they hit the wall made little difference.
“Ouch,” said Jaan’en.
“Ouch,” said Ahana.
“Ouch,” said the wall.
“Ouch,” said the floor.
“OUCH!” shouted the monkey.
“ouch,” squeaked Frodo.
“Ouch,” said the lightsaber.
“Ouch,” said Ahana, as she looked at a random pricetag.
“OOOUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!!” shouted her father when he seen the bill.
“Ouch,” said the roof.
“Ouch,” said the medal pole.
“Where did the medal pole come from?” asked Jaan’en.
“I see green lines........” said Ahana.
Jaan’en slapped her a few times, and she came back to normal. However, when he seen the random pricetag, he fainted.
Then the people that he heard later came by, and they jumped into a garbage chute, in honor of Luke Skywalker.
Luckly, they weren’t crushed alive, and they left the garbage chute in search of Ahana’s ship, which probably wasn’t anywhere nearby, but they had to look.
“I really have a bad feeling about this,” said Ahana, as they wandered around.
“Yep,” agreed Jaan’en.
And then her ship exploded, and she felt it though the Force. And then she knew that they couldn’t go home, so they walked down the Yellow Brick Road, and hoped for the best.
Sadly, there was no Yellow Brick Road, so they had to suffice with wandering around aimlessly. And that they did...

[Tiana, eh?]

<<<Chapter... erk, I’ve forgot to add the last chapter... erk... oh well...>>>

<Jill: My turn to write!
<Ahana: Shut up, already.
<Jill: Why?
<Ahana: Because I said so.
<Jill: Well, don’t go all Éowyn Skywalker on me.
<Ahana: Gasp, how could YOU think that I’m even like her?!?!?
<Luke: I have a bad feeling about this (Dumps Éowyn down a laundry chute)
<Eowyn: Aaaassssss yyyooouuuu wiiiisssshhhhhh...
<Ahana: See? I’m not like her.
<Eowyn: For that matter, how did I fit down here? Laundry chutes aren’t this big...
<Jill: Shut up, or I’ll let Luke co-author this too...
<Eowyn: Shutting up.>

As Jill’s ship, erk, Jack’s ship... but Jill was driving it, I mean... am I doing runon and pointless sentences? Yeah... I think I am... ah, never mind... now what was I saying anyhow?
Oh yes--
As Jill sailed her father’s ship away from the shore, and into the horizon, all turned to silver glass...

<Ahana: I will ban you from listening to that song.
<Jill: A light on the water, all ships pass... erm, what did you say? I didn’t hear you...
<Ahana: Oi.
<Jill: Into the WEST!
<Ahana: I’ll take the soundtrack, and hide it on you.
<Jill: Fine, fine, you write then!>

As the ship sailed past the horizon, the seas glistened in the starlight. Jill steered the ship; heading towards a nearby hideaway...
She knew what she was doing, thank heavens, or else we’d’ve all died later.

<Jill: DYED!
<Ahana: What?! Oh, no giving out spoilers, Jill. Hush UP!>

And with that skill that came with excellent pirates, Jill steered around all the rocks, and whatnot...
And then, she had to crash into something, and nearly sink the ship.

<Jill: That wasn’t necessary to the flow of the story.
<Ahana: Yeah, it was.
<Jill: I’ll sing more.
<Ahana: Fine, fine.>

Once they made it back alive, Jill docked the ship, and all the random pirates went off to count their treasure, and whatnot.
Jill’s partner-- a large hairy, Wookiee type character-- came over to her. Wait... it was a Wookiee... ne’re mind.
[Where’s your father?] the Wookiee pirate character asked.
“He was captured by the Dark turned Norrington,” replied Jill stiffly. “And I will rescue him, Arrie.”<br> The taller Wookiee looked down at her with his dark, glowing eyes. [You do think that wise?]
“Arrabacca, he is my father!” exclaimed Jill. “And you think that I would leave him to Norrington’s cruel, and evil ways?!”<br> [You could get captured youself, Jill.] The dark Wookiee rumbled deeply in his throat. [And I cannot always be there to save you. I myself was nearly killed by the Darkside Norrington, and I do owe you, but he is more powerful than I. I might not be able to save you, if you get yourself captured.]
As Arrie spoke, Jill was rushing around the cave hideaway, packing up supplies. “I know that, Arrie.”<br> Arrabacca looked at her, the glow in his eyes diminishing. [You cannot go rushing into things like this alone. It’s too dangerous.]
“Rrakk, too dangerous,” repeated the parrot, that sat in a cage overhead, in Wookiee speech.
“I’m not asking you to come with me. I would not be gone long, anyhow, Arrie,” replied Jill. “You could stay here.”<br> replied Arrie.
“As you wish.” Jill shrugged. “It’s your own life; I’m not holding you to anything here.”<br>
Arrabacca’s eyes were suddenly drawn to the metal object worn by Jill, the lightsaber that she had picked up earlier.
[What is that?]
“What...? Oh, that.” Jill realized what Arrie was talking about. “It’s my lightsaber... I believe that’s what it’s called. I, er... picked in up while we were fighting Norrington.”<br> [You fought him before?!]
“Yes.”<br> [And you are still alive?!] Arrie’s eyes were wide with shock. [His dark arts are powerful. You should not still be alive!]
“Have you switched sides, Arrabacca? I’m standing here, perfectly alive, if you didn’t notice.”<br>
“I do realize that. But I feel perfectly alive. Do I not look it?”<br> Arrie sighed, and rolled his eyes. [I’m still coming with you.]
Jill smiled. “Great!”

<<<>>>
“We’ve been following the Yellow Brick road forever,” complained Jaan’en. “It’s boring.”<br> “Well, why didn’t you say so?” asked Ahana. “I mean, we didn’t have to follow it.”<br> “That was just a random plot bunny,” replied Jaan’en. “I know that we didn’t.”<br> Ahana fidgeted with her lightsaber. “I know. I hate random plots.”<br> “Well, let’s keep moving... do something.”<br> Ahana glared at Jaan’en. “My ship just crashed, we’re stuck in another world, and you want to DO SOMETHING?!?!?!”<br> “It’s a story, Ahana Solo.”<br> “Well, it feels pretty darn real to me,” Ahana snapped back.
“You know what?”<br> “What?”<br> “I’m hungry.”<br> Ahana rolled her eyes. “How can you be hungry at a time like this?!?!?! I’m almost tempted to throw you down that garbage chute back there!”<br> “What garbage chute?”<br> Ahana sighed, and sat down.
Jaan’en sighed, and shut up.
Around five minutes later, after many crickets had chirped, and they had suffered from silence, Ahana turned to Jaan’en. “Jaan’en?”<br> Jaan’en turned to look at her. “What?”<br> “I’m hungry.”<br> Jaan’en sighed, and rolled his eyes. “Where are we?”<br> “I have no clue. Stupid orange light!”<br> Suddenly, the same old random Sith Lady dropped out of the roof. “Welcome to the Matrix, Miss Solo,” she deadpanned.
Jaan’en and Ahana quirked their eyebrows. “I know you,” said Ahana, after another pause.
“Yeah?”<br> “You were on my ship, and screaming something in Ewok.”<br> The random Sith Lady nodded. “Yeah. It’s a conspiracy. You see, it’s a conspira...”<br> Jaan’en cut her off. “We get enough of that from Éowyn Skywalker when she’s writing these stories. So SHUT UP!!!!”<br> “...cy,” finished the Sith Lady. “But I cannot stay. I was sent by a few people to give you this.” And she pulled out an envelope with a wax seal... “Oh, and you wouldn’t know of any good places to destroy an evil Doomed Candy, would’ja?”<br> Ahana took the envelope. “Try Yavin.”<br> The random Sith lady grinned evilly, and disappeared in a flash orange light.
Crickets chirped.
Ahana stared at the envelope.
“Aren’t you going to open that?” asked Jaan’en.
“Yeah,” said Ahana slowly. “You know, I have a really, really bad feeling about this.”<br> “Same here,” replied Jaan’en, with a suspicious tone. “You don’t think that it’s a bomb, or anything?”<br> “Nah. I just don’t like this.” With those words, Ahana ripped the envelope open.
As its contents tumbled out, both of them screamed. “Oh NO!”<br> They stared at what had fallen out for a few moments. “Anything but that...” said Jaan’en, his eyes wide with fear.
“It can’t be...” whispered Ahana, her eyes even wider.
“It’s... it’s...”<br> “I told you I had a bad feeling about this,” said Ahana.
“I know that you’ll kill me, but, it’s a conspiracy,” said Jaan’en.
“Yeah, I agree,” replied Ahana. “For once, it IS a conspiracy.”<br> They both stared in shock at what had fallen out.
It was the One Ring.

<Jill: The One curse Aztec Gold Ring at that.
<Ahana: Great. And now we leave everyone with a cliffie!!!
<Jill: Okay, great!
<Eowyn: You are taking my lines...
<Luke: You took my lightsaber.
<Eowyn: I don’t have it anymore, you know.
<Jill: Shut up.
<Ahana: I must... sleep... zzzzzz <(ZzZ)>
<Jill: But... where... did all... the rum........ go.............
<Luke: Zzzzzzz... Coughjedihealingtrancecough... zzzzzzzz....
<Eowyn: Excellent... excellent... now once again I, master of random stories, will have control over this pirates story!!!!!! Excellent, yesssssss, precioussssssss...>

[Tiana, eh?]

(Oh NO!! There's a plotline...)(A/N: Contains spoilers for one of my other stories, but I'm not telling you, as I haven't told you yet that this is part of a series, anyhow. By the way, this is also the third... fourthish part of the story, anyhow. But I'll leave to to guess on the spoilers, and the series that this is a part of...)

<<<Chapter... erk... Chapter something. It’s a conspiracy... I think it’s chapter 4. Well, this is the chapter wherein we discover a plot, and things get a bit more confusing... oh, and I might now note something... this story is a sequel to an unfinished story... I’ll leave you to guess which one...>>>

Well, since I’m back to writing this story, things are going to be a bit changed... no, the story will remain the same, but not the writing style. Mwha-ha-ha-ha.

*real time*

Éowyn Skywalker looked around evilly, a dread smile upon her face. “Now I, at last, have control over this story, I, the master of insanity! And all shall love me and DESPAIR!”<br>
She looked over at her sleeping counterparts, and the wry expression was something else to behold. “And Luke, do I reveal the one thing that has prevented me from killing you all these years...? Ahana, Jill, I am sorry, but the sleeping pills in the rum... I couldn’t resist.”<br>
There was almost a trance of sadness in the author’s eyes, as she looked at the three helpless, sleeping humans. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I’m sorry to all of you.”<br>
And, though she was the master of random stories, she showed heart, and something within her showed, that had not showed in many a long year, since before she had changed her name to include the Lord of the Rings genre. It was something that had not been in her heart since her name had been Tiana Elass, and that thing was pity. But that had been long ago... many, many years gone past. For that had been in the days of the Clone Wars, and now it was later... many years later.

*End real time*
*coughflashbackcough*

<<<>>>

One ring to Rule them all...
One Ring to find them...
One Ring to bring them all...
And in the Darkness, bind them...

<<<>>>

“And now, we have the lightsaber of doom. And together, we shall take over the worlds of fanfiction, and rid these worlds of conspiracies once and for all.”<br>
“The candies did their job well in Middle-earth, since we now know what their goal with them were. To create chaos in Middle-earth, that they could take over the world of Lord of the Rings fanfiction.”<br>
“And they nearly did succeed, until that meddling Sith stepped in.”<br>
“She never was the same as the others. There was something to her...”<br>
“Fate had a hand in her actions. She was dark, you know this as well as I.” There was a sharpness in his voice that had not been there before.

“Yes, indeed I know. I recall that day well.”<br> “As I would’ve said so long ago: it’s a conspiracy.”<br>
“Indeed, you took the words right out of my mouth.”<br>
“I know that. But they did not succeed, though they believe that they did.”<br>
A third voice, evil, dark, and foreboding, not like that of the others. And this newcomer had flames within his eyes, and a shadow about him. And these words he spoke: “Like my father before me I have forged a ring. And this ring shall be not like that of my father’s, the ruling ring of power. This is the One Cursed Aztex Gold Ring, and with it, the world of Pirates of the Carrabean fanfiction shall be under my control. One Aztex Gold Ring to Rule them all!”<br>
“Um, if you are interested, we still have the plans to remake the Lightsaber of Doom.” This was the second voice again.

The third voice spoke, impatiently it seemed. “Yes, yes. I will take them. But my Ring shall rival that of my father’s!”<br>
“Not if I can help it!” And that forth voice was the voice of Éowyn Skywalker, but with something there that wasn’t there before. She had power in her voice, and sounded different.

“Ahh.” The evil one, the third voice smiled. “Tiana Elass. How nice of you to join us in these Cracks of Doom within the planet Yavin.”<br>
She froze. “How...?” And something hit her. “NO!” she cried. “Not YOU!!!!”<br>
“Ah, you see, but it IS me. And two that should be familiar to you, from your days in Middle-earth.”<br>
She looked closer at the two figures, and gasped. “No... no... no...” She closed her eyes. “It figures. Face to face with two I thought were gone for good.”<br>
“It’s a conspiracy,” muttered the one, before receiving a smack from the Dark Lordy character.
“Yeah,” agreed the other.

The Dark Lord (for that was who he was, of course) advanced. “Surprised to see me, Miss Skywalker?”<br>
“Yes,” she answered tightly. “As I seen you dye.”<br>
“Ah, but when you dyed me, you left out one thing. That misspelling of ‘die’ does not render one unable to do anything. And besides, I’m Sauron the Second!”<br>
“I know who you are,” she answered. When suddenly, a dark figure appeared, along with an elven figure. Éowyn Skywalker recognized them at once, and trned to shout them away. But the one, the elven one, pulled out a thermal detonator, set to a timer. And threw it. “COME ON, SKYWALKER!” the dark one shouted.

Éowyn Skywalker turned to run, but a moments pause hit her, and she ran back, to grab the lightsaber’s plans. But something then happened, as the ring slipped into her hand. She grapped it, not realizing what she had done.

But the moments pause cost her much. She had nearly made it out when the bomb detonated.

With the explosion came flying little bits of metal, and one caught her square on the wrist, gashing her arm, and causing a scar that would be seen for the rest of her life.

As the rest of the hideaway went up in flames, she watched in horror, as everything about her past went up in smoke.

Darth Warious looked at her, a moments pity showing in her eyes, for she too understood what that building had meant to Éowyn Skywalker.

Haldir showed more pity. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, before leaving to assist Warious with takeoff.

But there was one thing that she knew. And that was that Sauron the Second was not that easy to be killed. He would’ve left something on in his memory, and that he had done, for Éowyn Skywalker now had the Cursed Ring of Aztex Gold.

And some things that should not’ve been forgotted were lost.

<<<>>>
*real time*

Éowyn Skywalker stared at the computer screen, at a loss as to what she could write on this story. The past of the tale brought back too many memories for her, to much that had been forgotten. And, in fact, she did not know how the entire story went.

She picked up Ahana and Jill’s notes, and Jaan’en’s and Aarabacca’s notes, and began to read--

Just as there was a sudden flash of purple, and a Sith tumbled down from the roof.

Éowyn, from reflex, jumped up, and drew her lightsaber. Then she realized who it was. “Warious...?” There was a trace of incredulous in her voice. “It can’t be.”<br>
The Sith lady stood up. “Well, I think I look fairly alive, and like me, don’t you?” she asked, sounding rather annoyed. “I just had to fall into a story to deliver a Ring to a couple of sorta elvish, and sorta humanish people and...”

Her voice fell short as she looked over at the three people lying, unconscious, on the floor. “Well, now this is interesting,” she said. “What have you been up to?! That’s...”<br>
“The same people you just gave the Ring to. I know. Curse paradoxes forever.” Éowyn finished the sentence, and added her thoughts afterwards. “Well, the one, anyhow, right?”<br>
“I think we have a problem,” Darth Warious replied.
Éowyn sighed. “What have I got myself into... as usual?”<br>
<<<>>>

From the shadows beyond the mist, there was one who watched them, and smiled. The smile was ill-fitting of his heavily scared face. “You see, Tiana Elass, I am not that easy to subdue. Now you shall face the consequences of trying to stand against me. You shall face the power of the Lightsaber of Doom, and the Ruling Ring of the Aztex Gold!”<br>
<<<>>>

Éowyn Skywalker was attempting to explain their whole situation, and what was going on to the skeptical Sith Lady, when somthing unexpected happened. There was a flash of shadow, and all of them were pulled into a swirling vortex of Doom... including Luke, Ahana, and Jill.

Through darkness, light, shadow, and mist they fell--

And landed in a strangely familiar place.

“What was that about paradoxes?” asked Darth Warious.

Éowyn Skywalker sighed, and rubbed her head. “We’re doomed.”<br>
<<<>>>