Hm.... a couple things. I'm not going to give you my full critique, as I do to anyone I know will take it without offence, but I am going to say that you need to double space it. When posting on the internet, indents don't show up, so you need to double space everything, like when posting on a forum.
Other than that... er... it's odd. I'm not tired enough to fully appreciate my old Candies of Doom styled humor... Heh. Treasure Island spoof, I guess?
IF YOU LIKE SPOOFS/PRATCHETT LIKE WORK, READ MY POSTED STORY ON HERE!!! [/spam]
•Lucas the braid•
Unless they have a magic boat. If they have a magic boat, I'm pretty much doomed.... *cough*