Post by Master Warious on Jun 5, 2005 17:45:55 GMT -5
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parent/friend is taking their own sweet time:
Note: Notes added by the Insane Sith Pirate of Doom! A.K.A. Darth Warious
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly place them in people's carts while they aren't looking
Note: This is disgusting don’t do it. Choose one of the following instead.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
Note: Incase of extreme boredom and don’t want to embarrass yourself.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
Note: Bigger points if you’re a guy. Be sure to hide the can first.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares" and watch what happens.
Note: Sit back and watch the confusion.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay away.
Note: Best for self amusement.
6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
Note: Confusion will ensue make sure you are not grinning when you see the first to fall prey to your prank.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
Note: Remember to actually KNOW how to set up a tent.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
Note: can do this anywhere not just at Walmart
9. Look right into the security camera, using it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
Note: See #8 note extra points if you eat it.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
Note: Make sure the person has a sense of humor first.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
Note: Extra points if you do this hiding close by Employees can be done anywhere
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look using different size funnels.
Note: Will get strange looks from passer-bys.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say, "Pick Me! Pick Me!"
Note: Not for the easily embarrassed if a little kid actually comes looking for the voice followed by enraged parent.
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
Note: Can do this any place that makes announcements like the Sheep and Wool Festival…
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a few minutes, and then yell loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Note: Do not do this unless you are really attention starved.
Note: Notes added by the Insane Sith Pirate of Doom! A.K.A. Darth Warious
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly place them in people's carts while they aren't looking
Note: This is disgusting don’t do it. Choose one of the following instead.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
Note: Incase of extreme boredom and don’t want to embarrass yourself.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
Note: Bigger points if you’re a guy. Be sure to hide the can first.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares" and watch what happens.
Note: Sit back and watch the confusion.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay away.
Note: Best for self amusement.
6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
Note: Confusion will ensue make sure you are not grinning when you see the first to fall prey to your prank.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
Note: Remember to actually KNOW how to set up a tent.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
Note: can do this anywhere not just at Walmart
9. Look right into the security camera, using it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
Note: See #8 note extra points if you eat it.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
Note: Make sure the person has a sense of humor first.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
Note: Extra points if you do this hiding close by Employees can be done anywhere
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look using different size funnels.
Note: Will get strange looks from passer-bys.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say, "Pick Me! Pick Me!"
Note: Not for the easily embarrassed if a little kid actually comes looking for the voice followed by enraged parent.
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
Note: Can do this any place that makes announcements like the Sheep and Wool Festival…
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a few minutes, and then yell loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Note: Do not do this unless you are really attention starved.
