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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Dec 21, 2004 1:54:33 GMT -5
Maeg, Far, and Fig: 0.o
*Edge away from Tiana and Jandalf*
Maeg: CHRISTMAS IS THIS SATURDAY! YAAAAAY!
Far: You just now realized this? Where have you been?
Maeg: Navigating the perils of the innermost labyrinths of my mind.
Far:....
Fig: Don't ask.
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Post by Thorongil on Dec 21, 2004 9:31:32 GMT -5
Do you have to wait until Saturday? We get our presents on Friday.
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Dec 22, 2004 17:55:10 GMT -5
Obi-Wan: (hides under a small rock)
Jandalf: [glow=red,9,300][shadow=red,left,300]KILL!! DESTROY!!! MAIM!! OBLITERATE!!! USE SPIFTY TEXT TAGS!!![/shadow][/glow]
Obi-Wan: ...Spifty text tags?
Jandalf: They help me in my maddened rage.
Obi-Wan: I see. (resumes hiding under rock)
Jandalf: [glow=red,9,300][shadow=red,left,300]KILL SPONGEBOB!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!![/shadow][/glow]
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Dec 23, 2004 1:40:17 GMT -5
Tiana: *clears throat* According to Darth Aragorn...
"Anyone who doesn't like SpongeBob is stupid."
Me: "So that means Jandalf and I are stupid?"
DA: "*pauses* My point exactly*"
Needless to say-- he got a glass of water thrown at him. NO ONE INSULTS ME AND MY MASTER!
((My sister suffers often for tormenting me and my braid-- ever since she heard about the braid pulling scene Auddie did... darn))
Anakin: *joins Obi-Wan in hiding under small rocks, luckily manages to fit under one*
Tiana: [glow=red,12,300]DYE! KILL SPONGEBOB IN COOL TEXT TAGS! MUST! NOT! LET! EVIL! DEMENTED! SPONGE! LIVE![/color][/glow]
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Dec 23, 2004 14:43:29 GMT -5
Jandalf: (goes to department store, buys all their sponges, builds massive bonfire on the parking lot, and has a SPONGE BURN!!!)
Obi-Wan: (peeks out from under small rock) What is that awful smell?
Anna-Maria: (also hiding under a small rock, looks over at Anakin suspiciously and snickers)
Obi-Wan: (rolls eyes) That's not what I meant. It smells like burning synthetic material.
Anna-Maria: Then we should check if his arm's on fire.
Obi-Wan: (pauses for a moment, then starts snickering as well because he really can't help it)
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Dec 23, 2004 22:41:53 GMT -5
Anakin: *looks at arm suspiciously* I never should've worn a sponge wristband... I'M ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!
Tiana: *sounds suspiciously like the guy in the Legendary Frog spoof* Burn... BURN... *cackles-- and heaven knows, I CAN cackle very scarily* MWHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! DYEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! KILL... SPONGE... MUST... DYE... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
Anakin: I'M ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tiana: WHERE?! MUST USE IT TO BURN SPONGEBOB!!!!
Anakin: *mutters about darned sponge-haters*
Tiana: WHAT?! YOU LIKE HIM! *tackles Anakin* DIE!
Anakin: HELP!
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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Dec 24, 2004 0:49:50 GMT -5
(WOO HOO! It's *technically* Christmas Eve on the other side of the continent! Only three more hours on my end! And yet, here I am online at 9:48 in the evening...)
Fig: Do you smell something burning?
Far: *sniff sniff* HOLY SAURON! NOT AGAIN! DAAAAAAAD! *runs off to make sure Denethor hasn't found the flamethrower.*
Fig; Actually, I think it's just the sponges... Oh well.
Maeg: Ah yes, another average day in ME:I.
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Dec 25, 2004 23:35:09 GMT -5
Jandalf: (calmly rips sponge off Anakin's wrist and eats it while it's still burning)
Anna-Maria: Ummm...
Jandalf: Sponge a la Flambé.<br> Obi-Wan: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Does this solve the problem?
Jandalf: BURN!! BURRRRN!! HEH HEH HEH HEH!!! (runs off with Denethor's flamethrower)
Anna-Maria: That would be a resounding "no".
Obi-Wan: Indeed.
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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Dec 27, 2004 0:02:45 GMT -5
Denethor: *making a rare guest appearance on ME:I, Denethor runs after Jandalf* STOP HER! SHE'S KIDNAPPED NORMAN!
Fig: 'Norman?'
Far: Dad has names for all fifty-two of his pet flamethrowers. Apparently that one's Norman.
Denethor: NOOORRRMAAAAN!! STOP, YOU ORANGEY FIEND! NORMAN WILL NEVER SERVE YOU! NORMAN! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME NORM, JUST KEEP RESISTING! I'LL SAVE YOOOOU!
Fig: Your dad needs psychiatric help, Far.
Far: *Is down on the ground playing with his pet nickel named Thomas and is telling it how his father never loved him.*
Boromir: (Yeah, I'm godmodding my sister's coauthor. She won't mind) *Is setting a series of elaborate Faramir traps baited with gorgonzola cheeze and is cackling wickedly to himself*
Fig: Correction- Your whole family needs psychiatric help.
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Dec 27, 2004 18:36:51 GMT -5
Jandalf: (spins around to face Denethor and sends a massive fireball at him)
Obi-Wan: Oo, dear. This can't end well.
Anna-Maria: (crawls over to see Faramir's pet nickel) Hi, Thomas.
Obi-Wan: (grimaces and consults a psychiatric self-help book) Let's see...page ninety-five for uncontrolled social environments...
Jandalf: (puts on fake vampire fangs and sinks them into the small fuel tank on Norman, sucking some into her mouth, then lights a match and blows out)
[glow=orange,9,300]WHOOMPH!!!!![/glow]
Obi-Wan: (drops burning book) AAAAHHH!! I CAN'T DEAL WITH PYROMANIACS!!!
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Dec 28, 2004 23:59:18 GMT -5
Tiana: *horrified, rips out garlic and hules it at vampire-Jandalf* DIE, YOU JEDI FOOL! TAKE THIS! AND THIS! *whips garlic and dye at her*
Anakin: *cowers in corner, terrified*
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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Dec 29, 2004 0:32:11 GMT -5
Denethor: *Jaw drops* She... She.. SHE BIT NORMAN!! NOW HE'LL JOIN HER ARMY OF THE UNDEAD! NOOORRRMAAAAAAAAN! *cries* *stops crying* Although that flaming breath thing was pretty cool. And she DID lob a fireball at me. Let's see... she stole my favorite weapon of self-destruction and drank it's bodily fluids to set me on fire... I think... I think I'M IN LOVE! FINALLY! Someone who loves the sweet alure of the flame as much as I do! JANDALF, MY LOVE! Come, let us dance in the flames!!!
Figwit: Um, Faramir? Should we get the tranq gun or something for your dad? He's agitating Jandalf. You remember what happened LAST time we agitated Jandalf, don't you?
//FLASHBACK// *Farmir misspells something on Figwit's "get well" card. Jandalf turns red; beats Faramir into a pulp with a highlighter pen.* //END FLASHBACK//
Figwit: Do you really want that to happen again, Far?... Far?
Faramir: *to Anna-Maria* See? Thomas has a little hat he can wear. And here's his little bed. And he can do tricks, see? STAY, THOMAS!
Figwit: ....
Maeg: Flaming sponges smell icky.
Fig: *whacks head against conveniently-placed wall*
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Dec 29, 2004 14:37:35 GMT -5
Jandalf: (drops the punctured Norman on the ground in shock at Denethor's proclamation of love) Wh-wha? Anna-Maria: (to Faramir) I have an idea, mate! Let's make Thomas a little pillow, so that when he loses his first tooth, the Tooth Fairy can-- Obi-Wan: (screams) IT'S TOO MUCH!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! (points at Denethor) YOU!!! STAY AWAY FROM MY CO-AUTHOR!! THIS IS YOUR LAST AND FINAL WARNING!!!Jandalf: Ahem. Obi-Wan: (pauses in mid-scream) What? Jandalf: Redundancy. Obi-Wan: Huh? Jandalf: You said "last and final warning". Obi-Wan: Right. Sorry. Now where was I? Jandalf: You were interfering with my important confrontation. (reapplies her fake vampire fangs and takes out a barbeque lighter and a jerry can full of gas) NOW YOU LISTEN HERE, DENNY!!! IF I SO MUCH AS SMELL ANOTHER SICKENING PEEP OF BLOSSOMING ROMANCE OUT OF YOU-- Obi-Wan: (hopefully) ...He's going down? Jandalf: ...YES!! [glow=red,9,300]YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!!![/glow] (squeezes barbeque lighter so hard it explodes and sets the jerry can on fire) Obi-Wan: Uh-oh. Anna-Maria: (drops the small pillow she was making for Thomas the Nickel) RUN!!!!!!! Narrator 1: They dive for cover.
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Post by Lady Maeggaladiel on Dec 29, 2004 23:39:55 GMT -5
Figwit: HEAD FOR THE HILLS! *Grabs Maeg and Faramir and dives behind conveniently-placed brick wall*
*Faramir runs back for Thomas and all his little accessories*
*After a moment, Far decides to save his dad too.*
*All observe Jandalf's cleverly-posted explosion*
Denethor: That was so beautiful! Those flames; so wonderful!
Far: Daaaaaaaaad! You're embarrassing me again in front of my frieeeeeeends! Go away before you get us all killed!
Denethor: *Sigh* If you insist, I shall leave the benevolent Jandalf and her all-consuming flames, which burn as brightly and strongly as my love. But I shall leave, since my presence here may cause my pride and joy, my son, discomfort and possible dismemberment. Adieu!
Far: Aw dad, that was so nice! I'm going all red!
Denethor: I MEANT Boromir.
Far: I hate you.
Maeg: *uses Thomas to buy a pack of gum from a conveniently-placed vending machine*
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Dec 30, 2004 1:44:40 GMT -5
Tiana: *observes all of this with interest, yanks out garlic shooter* DIE, DENETHOR, DOG!!! LEAVE MY MASTER ALONE! MINE! MINE! SHE'S MY MASTER! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO LIKE HER, OR YOU SHALL FACE MY WRATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Dec 31, 2004 8:40:00 GMT -5
Jandalf: (looks rather burnt and points at her Padawan) Yeah, what she said.
Anna-Maria: NOOOO!!! THOMAS!!! YOU DESERVED A BETTER LIFE THAN THE CRUELTIES OF BONDAGE!! (breaks down sobbing)
Obi-Wan: (passes out from the observed horror of it all)
Jandalf: (grins brightly even though her face is completely blackened) That was a pretty good explosion, huh, guys?
Fried Ulysses: Oooooook. (collapses)
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Post by Vanacoriel on Jan 1, 2005 4:42:34 GMT -5
Vanacoriel: Oooohers! I like your Vampire Teeth! *shows her own pearly whites* Well, this is a pretty kettle of fish we've all gotten our selves into. *snickers*
Merry: Now that was an explosion! * passes out from the glory of the 'fairly catastrophic' explosion *
Pippin: That was well done. Well done. *whispers in jandalf's ear* would you buy anychance have any more flammable thingys? possibly dangerous explosives? *grins*
Lard: *attempts to eat the vending machine containing Thomas*
Vanacoriel: *stills snickering in an uncontrolable fashion*
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Jan 1, 2005 14:18:13 GMT -5
Jandalf: (mutters to Pippin) Actually, yes, I have a crate of C4 back at home. But first I want to get these fangs off. (tries to pull them out)
Anna-Maria: (busy attempting to beat the Lard back from the vending machine) HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK OF CONSUMING THE COUNTLESS HELPLESS INNOCENTS TRAPPED WITHIN!! (decides she must start up a cause to save Thomas and his brethren) FEEL THE WRATH OF THE COINAGE SUPPORT GROUP!!!
Obi-Wan: (sits up, holding his head) Consisting of?
Anna-Maria: ME AND...just me. (holds aloft her rifle) WHO WANTS TO JOIN? Faramir? Wilt thou take up the noble cause and fight against tyranny?
Obi-Wan: (winces) This day is simply going downhill.
Jandalf: (still trying to pull off the vampire fangs) THEY'RE NOT COMING OFF!!!
Obi-Wan: What sort of adhesive did you use?
Jandalf: (pauses for a moment, then digs in her pocket and produces a small bottle of some sort of glue) I don't know. It's labelled in Japanese.
Obi-Wan: Turn it over to read the English.
Jandalf: Ah. (does so) OH NO!!! IT'S CRAZYGLUE!!!
Minions of Xendor: A VAMPIRE!!!
King Arthur and his Knights: RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!! (random falling cows crush them)
Jandalf: (runs tongue over the prosthetic fangs) Well...I suppose I can live with it until I see a dentist to get them off. I mean, they aren't cumbersome or anything.
Obi-Wan: Just a little...scary.
Jandalf: (wicked grin)
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Post by Tiana, eh? on Jan 1, 2005 18:25:15 GMT -5
Anakin: *is waving garlic around threateningly* Die, Je...I mean, Vampire DOGS!
Tiana: Okay, now crazy glue must have a way to come off... hmmm... *contamplates* I could try to kavaam them, or something--
Anakin: NO!
Tiana: *folds arms* Sheesh! You'd think they at least have SOME faith in me.
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Post by Jandalf on Toast on Jan 1, 2005 20:49:20 GMT -5
Jandalf: (is busy running around and hissing at people)
Obi-Wan: Agh. Where's the Rubber Hammer when I need it.
Anna-Maria: (produces the Rubber Hammer)
Obi-Wan: ...No, wait, I didn't mean tha--
THUD
Anna-Maria: Too late.
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